五十度灰(Fifty Shades of Grey)英文版 Part II 14

shit!ileapupfrommyseatanddashtothedoor—a

wholehourofjustsitting—wheredidthetimego?jackis

goingtogoballistic!

islinkbacktomydesk.fortunately,he’snotinhisoffice.

itlookslikei’vegotawaywithit.igazeintentlyatmy

computerscreen,unseeing,tryingtoreassemblemy

thoughtsintoworkmode.

“wherewereyou?”

ijump.jackisstanding,armsfolded,behindme.

“iwasinthebasement,photocopying,”ilie.jacklips

pressintoathin,uncompromisingline.

“i’mlea一vingformyplaneatsixthirty.ineedyouto

stayuntilthen.”

“okay.”ismileassweetlyasicanmanage.

“i’dlikemyitineraryfornewyorkprintedoutand

photocopiedtentimes.andgetthebrochurespackaged

up.andgetmesomecoffee!”hesnarlsandstalksintohis

office.

ibreatheasighofreliefandstickmytongueoutathim

asheclosesthedoor.bastard.

atfouro’clock,claireringsfromreception.

“iha一vemiagreyforyou.”

mia?ihopeshedoesn’twanttohangatthemall.

“hi,mia!”

“ana,hi.howareyou?”herexcitementisstifling.

“good.busytoday.you?”

“iamsobored!ineedtofindsomethingtodo,soi’m

arrangingabirthdaypartyforchristian.”

christian’sbirthday?jeez,ihadnoidea.“whenisit?”

“iknewit.iknewhewouldn’ttellyou.it’son

saturday.momanddadwanteveryoneoverforameal

tocelebrate.i’mofficiallyinvitingyou.”

“oh,that’slovely.thankyou,mia.”

“i’vealreadycalledchristianandtoldhim,andhe

ga一vemeyournumberhere.”

“cool.”mymindisinaflatspin—whatthehellami

goingtogetchristianforhisbirthday?whatdoyoubuy

themanwhohaseverything?

“andmaybenextweek,wecangooutone

lunchtime?”

“sure.howabouttomorrow?mybossisawayin

newyork.”

“oh,thatwouldbecool,ana.whattime?”

“say,twelveforty-five?”

“i’llbethere.bye,ana.”

“bye.”ihangup.

christian.birthday.whatonearthshouldigethim?

from:anastasiasteele

subject:antediluvian

date:june15,201116:11

to:christiangrey

dearmr.grey

when,exactly,wereyougoingtotellme?

whatshalligetmyoldmanforhisbirthday?

perhapssomenewbatteriesforhishearingaid?

anastasiasteele

assistanttojackhyde,commissioningeditor,sip

from:christiangrey

subject:prehistoric

date:june15,201116:20

to:anastasiasteele

don’tmocktheelderly.

gladyouarealiveandkicking.

andthatmiahasbeenintouch.

batteriesarealwaysuseful.

idon’tlikecelebratingmybirthday.

christiangrey,

deafasapostceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.

from:anastasiasteele

subject:hmmm.

date:june15,201116:24

to:christiangrey

dearmr.grey

icanimagineyoupoutingasyouwrotethatlastsentence.

thatdoesthingstome.

axox

anastasiasteele

assistanttojackhyde,commissioningeditor,sip

from:christiangrey

subject:rollingeyes

date:june15,201116:29

to:anastasiasteele

misssteele

willyouuseyourblackberry!!!

christiangrey,

twitchypalmed,ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.

irollmyeyes.whyishesotouchyaboute-mails?

from:anastasiasteele

subject:inspiration

date:june15,201116:33

to:christiangrey

dearmr.grey

ah...yourtwitchypalmscan’tstaystillforlong,canthey?

iwonderwhatdr.flynnwouldsayaboutthat?

butnowiknowwhattogiveyouforyourbirthday—andihopeit

makesmesore...)

from:christiangrey

subject:angina

date:june15,201116:38

to:anastasiasteele

misssteele

idon’tthinkmyheartcouldstandthestrainofanothere-maillike

that,ormypantsforthatmatter.

beha一ve.

christiangrey

ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.

from:anastasiasteele

subject:trying

date:june15,201116:42

to:christiangrey

christian

iamtryingtoworkformyverytryingboss.

pleasestopbotheringmeandbeingtryingyourself.

yourlaste-mailnearlymademecombust.

ps:canyoucollectmeat6:30?

from:christiangrey

subject:i’llbethere

date:june15,201116:38

to:anastasiasteele

nothingwouldgivemegreaterpleasure.

actually,icanthinkofanyofnumberofthingsthatwouldgive

megreaterpleasure,andtheyallinvolveyou.

christiangrey

ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.

iflushreadinghisresponseandshakemyhead.e-mail

banterisallwellandgood,butwereallyneedtotalk.

perhapsoncewe’veseenflynn.iputmyblackberry

downandfinishmypettycashreconciliation.

bysixfifteen,theofficeisdeserted.iha一veeverything

readyforjack.hiscabtotheairportisbooked,andijust

ha一vetohandhimhisdocuments.iglanceanxiously

throughtheglass,buthe’sstilldeepinhistelephonecall,

andidon’twanttointerrupthim—notinthemoodhe’sin

today.

asiwaitforhimtofinish,itoccurstomethatiha一ve

noteatentoday.ohshit,that’snotgoingtogodownwell

withfifty.iquicklyskipdowntothekitchentoseeifthere

areanycookiesleft.

asi’mopeningthecommunalcookiejar,jack

appearsunexpectedlyinthekitchendoorway,startlingme.

oh.what’shedoinghere?

hestaresatme.“well,ana,ithinkthismightbea

goodtimetodiscussyourmisdemeanors.”hestepsin,

closingthedoorbehindhim,andmymouthinstantlydries

asalarmbellsringloudandpiercinginmyhead.

ohfuck.

hislipstwitchintoagrotesquesmile,andhiseyes

gleamadeep,darkcobalt.“atlast,iha一veyouonyour

own,”hesays,andheslowlylickshislowerlip.

what?

“now...areyougoingtobeagoodgirlandlisten

verycarefullytowhatisay?”

jack’seyesflashthedarkestblue,andhesneersashe

castsaleeringlookdownmybody.

fearchokesme.whatisthis?whatdoeshewant?from

somewheredeepinsideanddespitemydrymouth,ifind

theresolveandcouragetosqueezeoutsomewords,my

self-defenseclasskeep-them-talkingmantracirclingmy

brainlikeanetherealsentinel.

“jack,nowmightnotbeagoodtimeforthis.yourcab

isdueintenminutes,andineedtogiveyouallyour

documents.”myvoiceisquietbuthoarse,betrayingme.

hesmiles,andit’sadespoticfuck-yousmilethat

finallytoucheshiseyes.theyglintintheharshfluorescent

glowofthestriplightaboveusinthedrabwindowless

room.hetakesasteptowardme,glaringatme,hiseyes

neverlea一vingmine.hispupilsaredilatingasiwatch—the

blackeclipsingtheblue.ohno.myfearescalates.

“youknowihadtofightwithelizabethtogiveyouthis

job...”hisvoicetrailsoffashetakesanotherstep

towardme,andistepbackagainstthedingywall

cupboards.keep-him-talking,keep-him-talking,keephim-

talking.

“jack,whatexactlyisyourproblem?ifyouwanttoair

yourgrievances,thenperhapsweshouldaskhrtoget

involved.wecoulddothiswithelizabethinamoreformal

setting.”

whereissecurity?aretheyinthebuildingyet?

“wedon’tneedhrtoovermanagethissituationana,”

hesneers.“whenihiredyou,ithoughtyouwouldbea

hardworker.ithoughtyouhadpotential.butnow,idon’t

know.you’vebecomedistractedandsloppy.andi

wondered...isityourboyfriendwho’sleadingyou

astray?”hesaysboyfriendwithchillingcontempt.

“idecidedtocheckthroughyoure-mailaccounttosee

ificouldfindanyclues.andyouknowwhatifound,

ana?whatwasoutofplace?theonlypersonale-mailsin

youraccountweretoyourhot-shotboyfriend.”he

pauses,assessingmyreaction.“andigottothinking...

wherearethee-mailsfromhim?therearenone.nada.

nothing.sowhat’sgoingon,ana?howcomehise-mails

toyouaren’tonoursystem?areyousomecompanyspy,

plantedinherebygrey’sorganization?isthatwhatthis

is?”

holyshit,thee-mails.ohno.whatha一veisaid?

“jack,whatareyoutalkingabout?”itryfor

bewildered,andi’mprettyconvincing.thisconversation

isnotgoingasiexpected,butidon’ttrusthiminthe

slightest.somesubliminalpheromonethatjackisexuding

hasmeonhighalert.thismanisangry,volatile,andtotally

unpredictable.itrytoreasonwithhim.

“youjustsaidthatyouhadtopersuadeelizabethto

hireme.sohowcouldibeplantedasaspy?makeup

yourmind,jack.”

“butgreyfuckedthenewyorktrip,didn’the?”

ohshit.

“howdidhemanagethat,ana?whatdidyourrich,

ivyleagueboyfrienddo?”

whatlittlebloodremainsinmyfacedrainsaway,andi

thinki’mgoingtofaint.“idon’tknowwhatyou’retalking

about,jack,”iwhisper.“yourcabwillbehereshortly.

shallifetchyourthings?”ohplease,letmego.stopthis.

jackcontinues,enjoyingmydiscomfort.“andhe

thinksi’dmakeapassatyou?”hesmirksandhiseyes

heat.“well,iwantyoutothinkaboutsomethingwhilei’m

innewyork.iga一veyouthisjob,andiexpectyouto

showmesomegratitude.infact,i’mentitledtoit.ihadto

fighttogetyou.elizabethwantedsomeonebetter

qualified,buti—isawsomethinginyou.so,weneedto

workoutadeal.adealwhereyoukeepmehappy.d’you

understandwhati’msaying,ana?”

fuck!

“lookatitasrefiningyourjobdescription,ifyoulike.

andifyoukeepmehappy,iwon’tdiganyfurtherinto

howyourboyfriendispullingstrings,milkinghiscontacts,

orcashinginsomefa一vorfromoneofhisivyleaguefratboy

sycophants.”

mymouthdropsopen.he’sblackmailingme.for

sex!andwhatcanisay?newsofchristian’stakeoveris

embargoedforanotherthreeweeks.icanbarelybelieve

this.sex—withme!

jackmovescloseruntilhe’sstandingrightinfrontof

me,staringdownintomyeyes.hiscloyingsweetcologne

invadesmynostrils—it’snauseating—andifi’mnot

mistaken,thebitterstenchofalcoholisonhisbreath.

fuck,he’sbeendrinking...when?

“youaresuchatight-assed,cock-blocking,prick

tease,youknow,ana,”hewhispersthroughclenched

teeth.

what?pricktease...me?

“jack,iha一venoideawhatyou’retalkingabout,”i

whisper,asifeeltheadrenalinesurgethroughmybody.

he’sclosernow.iamwaitingtomakemymove.raywill

beproud.raytaughtmewhattodo.rayknowshisselfdefense.

ifjacktouchesme—ifheevenbreathestoo

closetome—iwilltakehimdown.mybreathisshallow.i

mustnotfaint,imustnotfaint.

“lookatyou.”hegivesmealeeringlook.“you’reso

turnedon,icantell.you’vereallyledmeon.deepdown

youwantit.iknow.”

holyfuck.themaniscompletelydelusional.myfear

risestodefconone,threateningtooverwhelmme.“no,

jack.iha一veneverledyouon.”

“youha一ve,youprick-teasingbitch.icanreadthe

signs.”reachingup,hegentlystrokesmyfacewiththe

backofhisknuckles,downtomychin.hisindexfinger

strokesmythroat,andmyheartleapsintomymouthasi

fightmygagreflex.hereachesthedipatthebaseofmy

neck,wherethetopbuttonofmyblackshirtisopen,and

presseshishandagainstmychest.

“youwantme.admitit,ana.”

keepingmyeyesfirmlyfixedonhisandconcentrating

onwhatiha一vetodo—ratherthanmymushrooming

revulsionanddread—iplacemyhandgentlyoverhisina

caress.hesmilesintriumph.igrabhislittlefinger,and

twistitback,pullingitsharplydownbackwardtohiship.

“arrgh!”hecriesoutinpainandsurprise,andashe

leansoffbalance,ibringmyknee,swiftandhard,upinto

hisgroin,andmakeperfectcontactwithmygoal.idodge

deftlytomyleftashiskneesbuckle,andhecollapseswith

agroanontothekitchenfloor,graspinghimselfbetween

hislegs.

“don’tyouevertouchmeagain,”isnarlathim.“your

itineraryandthebrochuresarepackagedonmydesk.i

amgoinghomenow.ha一veanicetrip.andinthefuture,

getyourowndamncoffee.”

“youfuckingbitch!”hehalfscreams,halfgroansat

me,butiamalreadyoutthedoor.

irunfullpelttomydesk,grabmyjacketandmy

purse,anddashtofrontreception,ignoringthemoansand

cursesemanatingfromthebastardstillprostrateonthe

kitchenfloor.iburstoutofthebuildingandstopfora

momentasthecoolairhitsmyface,takeadeepbreath,

andcomposemyself.butiha一ven’teatenallday,andas

theveryunwelcomesurgeofadrenalinerecedes,mylegs

giveoutbeneathmeandisinktotheground.

iwatchwithmilddetachmenttheslowmotionmovie

thatplaysoutinfrontofme:christianandtaylorindark

suitsandwhiteshirts,leapingoutofthewaitingcarand

runningtowardme.christiansinkstohiskneesatmyside,

andonsomeunconsciouslevel,allicanthinkis:he’s

here.myloveishere.

“ana,ana!what’swrong?”hescoopsmeintohis

lap,runninghishandsupanddownmyarms,checkingfor

anysignsofinjury.grabbingmyheadbetweenhishands,

hestareswithwide,terrified,grayeyesintomine.isag

againsthim,suddenlyoverwhelmedwithreliefandfatigue.

oh,christian’sarms.thereisnoplacei’dratherbe.

“ana.”heshakesmegently.“what’swrong?areyou

sick?”

ishakemyheadasirealizeineedtostart

communicating.

“jack,”iwhisper,andisenseratherthansee

christian’sswiftglanceattaylor,whoabruptlydisappears

intothebuilding.

“fuck!”christianenfoldsmeinhisarms.“whatdid

thatsleazeballdotoyou?”

andfromsomewherejusttherightsideofcrazy,a

gigglebubblesinmythroat.irecalljack’suttershockasi

grabbedhisfinger.

“it’swhatididtohim.”istartgigglingandican’t

stop.

“ana!”christianshakesmeagain,andmygigglingfit

ceases.“didhetouchyou?”

“onlyonce.”

ifeelchristian’smusclesbunchandtenseasrage

sweepsthroughhim,andhestandsupswiftly,powerfully

—rocksteady—withmeinhisarms.he’sfurious.no!

“whereisthatfucker?”

frominsidethebuildingwehearmuffledshouting.

christiansetsmeonmyfeet.

“canyoustand?”

inod.

“don’tgoin.don’t,christian.”suddenlymyfearis

back,fearofwhatchristianwilldotojack.

“getinthecar,”hebarksatme.

“christian,no.”igrabhisarm.

“getinthegoddamnedcar,ana.”heshakesmeoff.

“no!please!”ipleadwithhim.“stay.don’tlea一veme

onmyown.”ideploymyultimateweapon.

seething,christianrunshishandthroughhishairand

glaresdownatme,clearlywrackedwithindecision.the

shoutinginsidethebuildingescalates,andthenstops

suddenly.

oh,no.whathastaylordone?

christianfishesouthisblackberry.

“christian,hehasmye-mails.”

“what?”

“mye-mailstoyou.hewantedtoknowwhereyour

e-mailstomewere.hewastryingtoblackmailme.”

christian’slookismurderous.ohshit.“fuck!”he

spluttersandnarrowshiseyesatme.hepunchesa

numberintohisblackberry.

ohno.i’mintrouble.who’shecalling?

“barney.grey.ineedyoutoaccessthesipmain

serverandwipeallanastasiasteele’se-mailstome.then

accessthepersonaldatafilesofjackhydeandcheck

theyaren’tstoredthere.iftheyare,wipethem...yes,all

ofthem.now.letmeknowwhenit’sdone.”

hestabstheoffbuttonthendialsanothernumber.

“roach.grey.hyde—iwanthimout.now.this

minute.callsecurity.gethimtoclearhisdesk

immediately,oriwillliquidatethiscompanyfirstthingin

themorning.youalreadyha一veallthejustificationyouneed

togivehimhispinkslip.doyouunderstand?”helistens

foramomentandhangsupseeminglysatisfied.

“blackberry,”hehissesatmethroughclenchedteeth.

“pleasedon’tbemadatme.”iblinkupathim.

“iamsomadatyourightnow,”hesnarlsandonce

moresweepshishandthroughhishair.“getinthecar.”

“christian,please—”

“getinthefuckingcar,anastasia,orsohelpmei’ll

putyouintheremyself,”hethreatens,hiseyesblazingwith

fury.

ohshit.“don’tdoanythingstupid,please,”ibeg.

“stupid!”heexplodes.“itoldyoutouseyour

fuckingblackberry.don’ttalktomeaboutstupid.getin

themotherfuckingcar,anastasia—now!”hesnarlsanda

frissonoffearrunsthroughme.thisisveryangry

christian.i’venotseenhimthismadbefore.he’sbarely

holdingontohisself-control.

“okay,”imutter,placatinghim.“butplease,be

careful.”

pressinghislipstogetherinahardline,hepoints

angrilytothecar,glaringatme.

jeez,okay,igetthemessage.

“pleasebecareful.idon’twantanythingtohappento

you.itwouldkillme,”imurmur.heblinksrapidlyand

stills,loweringhisarmwhilehetakesadeepbreath.

“i’llbecareful,”hesays,hiseyessoftening.oh,thank

thelord.hiseyesburnintomeasiheadtothecar,open

thefrontpassengerdoor,andclimbin.oncei’msafelyin

thecomfortoftheaudi,hedisappearsintothebuilding,

andmyheartleapsagainintomythroat.what’she

planningtodo?

isitandwait.andwait.andwait.fiveeternal

minutes.jack’scabpullsupinfrontoftheaudi.ten

minutes.fifteen.jeez,whataretheydoinginthere,and

howistaylor?thewaitisagonizing.

twenty-fiveminuteslater,jackemergesfromthe

building,clutchingacardboardstoragebox.behindhimis

thesecurityguard.wherewasheearlier?andafterthem,

christianandtaylor.jacklookssick.heheadsstraight

forthecab,andi’mgratefulfortheaudi’shea一vilytinted

windowssohecannotseeme.thecabdrivesoff—

presumablynottosea-tac—aschristianandtaylor

reachthecar.

openingthedriver’sdoor,christianslidessmoothly

intotheseat,presumablybecauseiaminthefront,and

taylorgetsinbehindme.neitherofthemsaysawordas

christianstartsthecarandpullsoutintothetraffic.iriska

quickglanceatfifty.hismouthissetinafirmline,buthe

seemsdistracted.thein-carphonerings.

“grey,”christiansnaps.

“mr.grey,barneyhere.”

“barney,i’monspeakerphone,andthereareothers

inthecar,”christianwarns.

“sir,it’salldone.butineedtotalktoyouaboutwhat

elseifoundonmr.hyde’scomputer.”

“i’llcallyouwhenireachmydestination.andthanks,

barney.”

“noproblem,mr.grey.”

barneyhangsup.hesoundsmuchyoungerthani

expected.

whatelseisonjack’scomputer?

“areyoutalkingtome?”iaskquietly.

christianglancesatme,beforefixinghiseyesbackon

theroadahead,andicantellhe’sstillmad.

“no,”hemutterssullenly.

oh,therewego...howchildish.iwrapmyarms

aroundmyselfandstareunseeingoutthewindow.perhaps

ishouldjustaskhimtodropmeoffatmyapartment,then

hecan“nottalk”tomefromthesafetyofescalaandsa一ve

usboththeinevitablequarrel.butevenasithinkit,i

knowidon’twanttolea一vehimtobrood,notafter

yesterday.

eventually,wepullupinfrontofhisapartmentbuilding,

andchristianclimbsoutofthecar.movingwitheasy

gracearoundtomyside,heopensmydoor.

“come,”heordersastaylorclambersintothedriver’s

seat.itakehisprofferedhandandfollowhimthroughthe

grandfoyertotheelevator.hedoesn’tletgoofme.

“christian,whyareyousomadatme?”iwhisperas

wewait.

“youknowwhy,”hemuttersaswestepintothe

elevator,andhepunchesinthecodetohisfloor.“god,if

somethinghadhappenedtoyou,he’dbedeadbynow.”

christian’stonechillsmetothebone.thedoorsclose.

“asitis,i’mgoingtoruinhiscareersohecan’ttake

advantageofyoungwomenanymore,miserableexcusefor

amanthatheis.”heshakeshishead.“jesus,ana!”he

grabsmesuddenly,imprisoningmeinthecornerofthe

elevator.

hishandsfistinmyhairashepullsmyfaceuptohis,

andhismouthisonmine,apassionatedesperationinhis

kiss.idon’tknowwhythistakesmebysurprise,butit

does.itastehisrelief,hislonging,andhisresidualanger

whilehistonguepossessesmymouth.hestops,gazing

downatme,restinghisweightagainstmesoican’tmove.

helea一vesmebreathless,clingingtohimforsupport,

staringupintothatbeautifulfaceetchedwithdetermination

andwithoutanytraceofhumor.

“ifanythinghadhappenedtoyou...ifhe’dharmed

you...”ifeeltheshudderthatrunsthroughhim.

“blackberry,”hecommandsquietly.“fromnowon.

understand?”

inod,swallowing,unabletobreakeyecontactfrom

hisgrim,mesmerizinglook.

hestraightens,releasingmeastheelevatorcomestoa

stop.“hesaidyoukickedhimintheballs.”christian’s

toneislighterwithatraceofadmiration,andithinki’m

forgiven.

“yes,”iwhisper,stillreelingfromtheintensityofhis

kissandhisimpassionedcommand.

“good.”

“rayisex-army.hetaughtmewell.”

“i’mverygladhedid,”hebreathesandadds,archinga

brow,“i’llneedtorememberthat.”takingmyhand,he

leadsmeoutoftheelevatorandifollow,relieved.ithink

that’sasbadashismoodisgoingtoget.

“ineedtocallbarney.iwon’tbelong.”he

disappearsintohisstudy,lea一vingmestrandedinthevast

livingroom.mrs.jonesisaddingthefinishingtouchesto

ourmeal.irealizeiamfamished,butineedsomethingto

do.

“canihelp?”iask.