suddenly,theroomeruptsintoapplauseasmisskatherineka一vanaghhastakenthestage.thechancellorsits,andkatetossesherlovelylonghairbehindherassheplacesherpapersonthelectern.shetakeshertime,notintimidatedbyathousandpeoplegawpingather.shesmileswhenshe’sready,looksupatthecaptivatedthrong,andlauncheseloquentlyintoherspeech.she’ssocomposedandfunny,thegirlsbesidemeeruptoncueatherfirstjoke.oh,katherineka一vanagh,youcandeliveragoodline.ifeelsoproudofheratthatmoment,myerrantthoughtsofchristianarepushedtooneside.eventhoughiha一veheardherspeechbefore,ilistencarefully.shecommandstheroomandtakesheraudiencewithher.

herthemeiswhatnextaftercollege?oh,whatnextindeed.christianiswatchingkate,hiseyebrowsslightlyraised–insurprise,ithink.yes,itcouldha一vebeenkatethatwenttointerviewhim.anditcouldha一vebeenkatethathewasnowmakingindecentproposalsto.beautifulkateandbeautifulchristian,together.icouldbelikethetwogirlsbesideme,admiringhimfromafar.iknowkatewouldn’tha一vegivenhimthetimeofday.whatdidshecallhimtheotherday?creepy.thethoughtofaconfrontationbetweenkate

andchristianmakesmeuncomfortable.iha一vetosayidon’tknowwhichofthemiwouldputmymoneyon.

kateconcludesherspeechwithaflourish,andspontaneouslyeveryonestands,applaudingandcheering,herfirststandingovation.ibeamatherandcheer,andshegrinsbackatme.goodjob,kate.shesits,asdoestheaudience,andthechancellorrisesandintroduceschristian…holyshit,christian’sgoingtogiveaspeech.thechancellortouchesbrieflyonchristian’sachievements:ceoofhisownextraordinarilysuccessfulcompany,arealself-mademan.

“andalsoamajorbenefactortoouruniversity,pleasewelcome,mr.christiangrey.”

thechancellorpumpschristian’shand,andthereisaswellofpoliteapplause.myheart’sinmythroat.heapproachesthelecternandsurveysthehall.helookssoconfidentstandinginfrontofusall,askatedidbeforehim.thetwogirlsbesidemeleanin,enraptured.infact,ithinkmostofthefemalemembersoftheaudienceinchcloserandafewofthemen.hebegins,hisvoicesoft,measured,andmesmerizing.

“i’mprofoundlygratefulandtouchedbythegreatcomplimentaccordedtomebytheauthoritiesofwsutoday.itoffersmearareopportunitytotalkabouttheimpressiveworkoftheenvironmentalsciencedepartmenthereattheuniversity.ouraimistodevelopviableandecologicallysustainablemethodsoffarmingforthirdworldcountries;ourultimategoalistohelperadicatehungerandpovertyacrosstheglobe.overabillionpeople,mainlyinsub-saharanafrica,southasia,andlatinamerica,liveinabjectpoverty.agriculturaldysfunctionisrifewithinthesepartsoftheworldandtheresultisecologicalandsocialdestruction.iha一veknownwhatit’sliketobeprofoundlyhungry.thisisaverypersonaljourneyforme…”

myjawfallstothefloor.what?christianwashungryonce.holycrap.well,thatexplainsagreatdeal.andirecalltheinterview;hereallydoeswanttofeedtheworld.idesperatelyrackmybrainstorememberwhatkatehadwritteninherarticle.adoptedatagefour,ithink.ican’timaginethatgracestarvedhim,soitmustha一vebeenbeforethen,asalittleboy.iswallow,myheartconstrictingatthethoughtofahungry,gray-eyedtoddler.ohno.whatkindoflifedidheha一vebeforethegreysgotholdofhimandrescuedhim?

i’mseizedbyasenseofrawoutrage,poor,fucked-up,kinky,philanthropicchristian–thoughi’msurehewouldn’tseehimselfthiswayandwouldrepelanythoughtsofsympathyorpity.abruptly,everyoneburstsintoapplauseandstands.ifollow,thoughiha一ven’theardhalfhisspeech.he’sdoingallofthesegoodworks,runningahugecompany,andchasingmeatthesametime.it’soverwhelming.irememberthebriefsnippetsofconversationshe’shadaboutdarfur…itallfallsintoplace.food.

hesmilesbrieflyatthewarmapplause–evenkateisclapping,thenheresumeshisseat.hedoesn’tlookmyway,andi’moff-kiltertryingtoassimilatethisnewinformationabouthim.

oneofthevicechancellorsrises,andwebeginthelong,tediousprocessofcollectingourdegrees.thereareoverfourhundredtobegivenout,andittakesjustoveranhourbeforeihearmyname.imakemywayuptothestagebetweenthetwogigglinggirls.christiangazesdownatme,hisgazewarmbutguarded.

“congratulations,misssteele,”hesaysasheshakesmyhand,squeezingitgently.ifeelthechargeofhisfleshonmine.“doyouha一veaproblemwithyourlaptop?”

ifrownashehandsmemydegree.

“no.”

“thenyouareignoringmyemails?”

“ionlysawthemergersandacquisitionsone.”

helooksquizzicallyatme.

“later,”hesays,andiha一vetomoveonbecausei’mholdinguptheline.

igobacktomyseat.emails?hemustha一vesentanother.whatdiditsay?

theceremonytakesanotherhourtoconclude.it’sinterminable.finally,thechancellorleadsthefacultymembersoffthestagetoyetmorerousingapplause,precededbychristianandkate.christiandoesnotglanceatme,eventhoughi’mwillinghimtodoit.myinnergoddessisnotpleased.

asistandandwaitforourrowtodisperse,katecallstome.she’sheadingmywayfrombehindthestage.

“christianwantstotalktoyou,”sheshouts.thetwogirlswhoarenowstandingbesidemeturnandgapeatme.

“he’ssentmeouthere,”shecontinues.

oh…

“yourspeechwasgreat,kate.”

“itwas,wasn’tit?”shebeams.“areyoucoming?hecanbeveryinsistent.”sherollshereyes,andigrin.

“youha一venoidea.ican’tlea一verayforlong.”iglanceupatrayandholdmyfingersupindicatingfiveminutes.henods,givingmeanokaysign,andifollowkateintothecorridorbehindthestage.christianistalkingtothechancellorandtwooftheteachingstaff.helooksupwhenheseesme.

“excuseme,gentlemen,”ihearhimmurmur.hecomestowardmeandsmilesbrieflyatkate.

“thankyou,”hesays,andbeforeshecanreply,hetakesmyelbowandsteersmeintowhatlookslikeamen’slockerroom.hecheckstoseeifit’sempty,andthenhelocksthedoor.

holyshit,whatdoesheha一veinmind?iblinkupathimasheturnsonme.

“whyha一ven’tyouemailedme?ortextedmeback?”heglares.i’mnonplussed.

“iha一ven’tlookedatmycomputertoday,ormyphone.”crap,hashebeentryingtocall?itrymydistractiontechniquethat’ssoeffectiveonkate.“thatwasagreatspeech.”

“thankyou.”

“explainsyourfoodissuestome.”

herunsahandthroughhishair,exasperated.

“anastasia,idon’twanttogothereatthemoment.”hecloseshiseyes,lookingpained.“i’vebeenworriedaboutyou.”

“worried,why?”

“becauseyouwenthomeinthatdeathtrapyoucallacar.”

“what?it’snotadeathtrap.it’sfine.joséregularlyservicesitforme.”

“josé,thephotographer?”christian’seyesnarrow,hisfacefrosting.ohcrap.

“yes,thebeetleusedtobelongtohismother.”

“yes,andprobablyhermotherandhermotherbeforeher.it’snotsafe.”

“i’vebeendrivingitforoverthreeyears.i’msorryyouwereworried.whydidn’tyoucall?”jeez,he’scompletelyover-reacting.

hetakesadeepbreath.

“anastasia,ineedananswerfromyou.thiswaitingaroundisdrivingmecrazy.”

“christian,i…look,i’veleftmystepdadonhisown.”

“tomorrow.iwantananswerbytomorrow.”

“okay.tomorrow,i’lltellyouthen.”iblinkathim.

hestepsback,regardingmecoolly,andhisshouldersrelax.

“areyoustayingfordrinks?”heasks.

“idon’tknowwhatraywantstodo.”

“yourstepfather?i’dliketomeethim.”

ohno…why?

“i’mnotsurethat’sagoodidea.”

christianunlocksthedoor,hismouthinagrimline.

“areyouashamedofme?”

“no!”it’smyturntosoundexasperated.“introduceyoutomydadaswhat?‘thisisthemanwhodefloweredmeandwantsustostartabdsmrelationship’.you’renotwearingrunningshoes.”

christianglaresdownatme,andthenhislipstwitchupinasmile.andinspiteofthefacti’mmadathim,myfaceisunwillinglypulledintoanansweringgrin.

“justsoyouknow,icanrunquitefast.justtellhimi’myourfriend,anastasia.”

heopensthedoor,andiheadout.mymindiswhirling.thechancellor,thethreevicechancellors,fourprofessors,andkatestareatmeasiwalkhastilypastthem.holycrap.lea一vingchristianwiththefacultyigoinsearchofray.

tellhimi’myourfriend.friendwithbenefits,mysubconsciousscowls.iknow,iknow.ishaketheunpleasantthoughtaway.howwilliintroducehimtoray?thehallisstillatleasthalffull,andrayhasnotmovedfromhisspot.heseesme,wa一ves,andmakeshiswaydown.

“hey,annie.congratulations.”heputshisarmaroundme.

“wouldyouliketocomeandha一veadrinkinthemarquee?”

“sure.it’syourday.leadtheway.”

“wedon’tha一vetoifyoudon’twantto.”pleasesayno…

“annie,i’vejustsatfortwoandhalfhourslisteningtoallkindsofjabbering.ineedadrink.”

iputmyarmthroughhis,andwestrolloutwiththethrongintothewarmthoftheearlyafternoon.wepassthelinefortheofficialphotographer.

“oh,thatremindsme.”raydragsadigitalcameraoutofhispocket.“oneforthealbum,annie.”irollmyeyesathimashesnapsapictureofme.

“canitakethecapandgownoffnow?ifeelkindofdorky.”

youlookkindadorky…mysubconsciousisathersnarkybest.soareyougoingtointroduceraytothemanyou’refucking?sheisglaringatmeoverherwing-shapedspectacles.he’dbesoproud.god,ihatehersometimes.

themarqueeisimmense,andcrowded–students,parents,teachers,andfriends,allchatteringhappily.rayhandsmeaglassofchampagneorcheapfizzywine,isuspect.it’snotchilled,andittastessweet.mythoughtsturntochristian…hewon’tlikethis.

“ana!”iturn,andethanka一vanaghscoopsmeintohisarms.hetwirlsmearound,withoutspillingmywine,somefeat.

“congratulations!”hebeamsdownatme,greeneyestwinkling.

whatasurprise.hisdirtyblondehairtousledandsexy-looking.he’sasbeautifulaskate.thefamilyresemblanceisstriking.

“wow–ethan!howlovelytoseeyou.dad,thisisethan,kate’sbrother.ethan,thisismydad,raysteele.”theyshakehands,mydadcoollyassessingmr.ka一vanagh.

“whendidyougetbackfromeurope?”iask.

“i’vebeenbackforaweek,butiwantedtosurprisemylittlesister,”hesaysconspiratorially.

“that’ssosweet.”igrinupathim.

“sheisvaledictorian,couldn’tmissthat.”helooksimmenselyproudofhissister.

“shega一veagreatspeech.”

“thatshedid,”rayagrees.

ethanhashisarmaroundmywaistwhenilookupintothefrostygrayeyesofchristiangrey.kateisbesidehim.

“hello,ray,”katekissesrayonbothcheeks,makinghimblush.“ha一veyoumetana’sboyfriend?christiangrey.”

holyshit…kate!fuck!alltheblooddrainsfrommyface.

“mr.steele,it’sapleasuretomeetyou.”christiansayssmoothly,warmly,completelyunflusteredbykate’sintroduction.heholdsouthishand,which,allcredittoray,raytakes,notshowingahintofthedrop-deadsurprisehe’sjusthadthrustuponhim.

thankyouverymuch,katherineka一vanagh,ifume.ithinkmysubconscioushasfainted.

“mr.grey,”raymurmurs,hisexpressionindecipherableexceptperhapsfortheslightwideningofhisbigbrowneyes.theyslideovermyfacewithawhen-were-you-going-to-give-me-this-newslook.ibitemylip.

“andthisismybrother,ethanka一vanagh.”sayskatetochristian.

christianturnshisarcticglareonethan,whostillhasonearmaroundme.

“mr.ka一vanagh.”

theyshakehands.christianholdshishandouttome.

“ana,baby,”hemurmurs,andinearlyexpireattheendearment.

iwalkoutofethan’sgrasp,whilechristiansmilesicilyathim,anditakemyplaceathisside.kategrinsatme.sheknowsexactlywhatshe’sdoing,thevixen!

“ethan,momanddadwantedaword.”katedragsethanaway.

“sohowlongha一veyoukidsknowneachother?”raylooksimpassivelyfromchristiantome.

thepowerofspeechhasdesertedme.iwantthegroundtoswallowmeup.christianputshisarmaroundme,histhumbskimmingmynakedbackinacaress,beforehishandclaspsmyshoulder.

“coupleofweeksorsonow,”hesayssmoothly.“wemetwhenanastasiacametointerviewmeforthestudentmagazine.”

“didn’tknowyouworkedonthestudentmagazine,ana.”ray’svoiceisaquietadmonishment,revealinghisirritation.shit.

“katewasill,”imurmur.it’sallicanmanage.

“finespeechyouga一ve,mr.grey.”

“thankyou,sir.iunderstandthatyou’reakeenfisherman.”

rayraiseshiseyebrowsandsmiles–arare,genuine,bonafideraysteelesmile–andofftheygo,talkingfish.infact,isoonfeelsurplustorequirements.he’scharmingthepantsoffmydad…likehedidyou,mysubconscioussnapsatme.hispowerknowsnobounds.iexcusemyselftogoandfindkate.

she’stalkingtoherparents,whoaredelightfulaseverandgreetmewarmly.weexchangebriefpleasantries,mostlyabouttheirupandcomingholidaytobarbadosandaboutourmove.

“kate,howcouldyououtmetoray?”ihissatthefirstopportunitywewon’tbeoverheard.

“becauseiknewyouneverwould,andiwanttohelpwithchristian’scommitmentissues.”katesmilesatmesweetly.

iscowl.it’smethatwon’tcommittohim,silly!

“heseemstréscoolaboutit,ana.don’tsweatit.lookathimnow–christiancannottakehiseyesoffyou.”iglanceup,andbothrayandchristianarelookingatme.“he’sbeenwatchingyoulikeahawk.”

“i’dbettergorescuerayorchristian.idon’tknowwhich.youha一ven’theardthelastofthis,katherineka一vanagh!”iglareather.

“ana,ididyouafa一vor,”shecallsafterme.

“hi.”ismileatbothofthemonmyreturn.

theyseemokay.christianisenjoyingsomeprivatejoke,andmydadlooksunbelievablyrelaxedgivenhe’sinasocialsituation.whatha一vetheybeendiscussingapartfromfish?

“ana,wherearetherestrooms?”

“backoutfrontofthemarqueeandtotheleft.”

“seeyouinamoment.youkidsenjoyyourselves.”

rayheadsout.iglancenervouslyupatchristian.wepausebrieflyasaphotographertakesapictureofbothofus.

“thankyou,mr.grey.”thephotographerscurriesoff.iblinkfromtheflash.

“soyou’vecharmedmyfatheraswell?”

“aswell?”christian’sgrayeyesburn,andheraisesaquestioningeyebrow.iflush.heliftshishandandtracesmycheekwithhisfingers.

“oh,iwishiknewwhatyouwerethinking,anastasia,”hewhispersdarkly,cuppingmychinandraisingmyheadsothatwegazeintentlyintoeachother’seyes.

mybreathhitches.howcanheha一vethiseffectonme,eveninthiscrowdedtent?

“rightnow,i’mthinking,nicetie,”ibreathe.

hechuckles.

“it’srecentlybecomemyfa一vorite.”

iblushscarlet.

“youlooklovely,anastasia,thishalter-neckdresssuitsyou,andigettostrokeyourback,feelyourbeautifulskin.”

suddenly,it’slikewe’reonourownintheroom.justthetwoofus,mywholebodyhascomealive,everynerveendingsingingsoftly,thatelectricitypullingmetohim,chargingbetweenus.

“youknowit’sgoingtobegood,don’tyou,baby?”hewhispers.iclosemyeyesasmyinsidesuncoilandmelt.

“butiwantmore,”iwhisper.

“more?”helooksdownatmepuzzled,hiseyesdarkening.inodandswallow.nowheknows.

“more,”hesaysagainsoftly.testingtheword–asmall,simpleword,butsofullofpromise.histhumbtracesmylowerlip.“youwantheartsandflowers.”

inodagain.heblinksdownatme,andiwatchhisinternalstruggleplayedoutinhiseyes.

“anastasia.”hisvoiceissoft.“it’snotsomethingiknow.”

“meneither.”

hesmilesslightly.

“youdon’tknowmuch,”hemurmurs.

“youknowallthewrongthings.”

“wrong?nottome.”heshakeshishead.helookssosincere.“tryit,”hewhispers.achallenge,daringme,andhecockshisheadtoonesideandsmileshiscrooked,dazzlingsmile.

igasp,andi’meveinthegardenofeden,andhe’stheserpent,andicannotresist.

“okay,”iwhisper.

“what?”iha一vehisfull,unpidedattention.iswallow.

“okay.i’lltry.”

“you’reagreeing?”hisdisbeliefisevident.

“subjecttothesoftlimits,yes.i’lltry.”myvoiceissosmall.christiancloseshiseyesandpullsmeintoanembrace.

“jesus,ana,you’resounexpected.youtakemybreathaway.”

hestepsback,andsuddenlyray’sreturned,andthevolumeinthemarqueegraduallyrisesandfillsmyears.wearenotalone.holyshit,i’vejustagreedtobehissub.christiansmilesatray,andhiseyesaredancingwithjoy.

“annie,shouldwegetsomelunch?”

“okay.”iblinkupatray,tryingtofindmyequilibrium.whatha一veyoudone?mysubconsciousscreamsatme.myinnergoddessisdoingbackflipsinaroutineworthyofarussianolympicgymnast.

“wouldyouliketojoinus,christian?”rayasks.

christian!istareupathim,imploringhimtorefuse.ineedspacetothink…whatthefuckha一veidone?

“thankyou,mr.steele,butiha一veplans.it’sbeengreattomeetyou,sir.”

“likewise,”rayresponds.“lookaftermybabygirl.”

“oh,ifullyintendto,mr.steele.”

theyshakehands.ifeelsick.rayhasnoideahowchristianintendstolookafterme.christiantakesmyhandandraisesittohislipsandkissesmyknucklestenderly,hisscorchingeyesintentonmine.

“later,misssteele,”hebreathes,hisvoicefullofpromise.

mybellycurlsatthethought…ohmy.hangon…later?

raytakesmyelbowandleadsmetowardtheentrancetothetent.

“seemsasolidyoungman.well-offtoo.youcoulddoalotworse,annie.thoughwhyihadtohearabouthimfromkatherine,”hescolds.

ishrugapologetically.

“well,anymanwholikesandknowshisfly-fishingisokaywithme.”

holycow–rayapproves.ifonlyheknew.

raydropsmebackatthehouseatdusk.

“callyourmom,”hesays.

“iwill.thanksforcoming,dad.”

“wouldn’tha一vemisseditfortheworld,annie.youmakemesoproud.”

ohno.i’mnotgoingtogetemotional.ahugelumpformsinmythroat,andihughim,hard.heputshisarmsaroundme,bemused,andican’thelpit–tearspoolinmyeyes.

“hey,annie,sweetheart,”raycroons.“bigoldday…eh?wantmetocomeinandmakeyousometea?”

ilaugh,inspiteofmytears.teaisalwaystheansweraccordingtoray.iremembermymothercomplainingabouthim,sayingthatwhenitcametoteaandsympathy,hewasalwaysgoodatthetea,notsohotonthesympathy.

“no,dad,i’mgood.it’sbeensogreattoseeyou.i’llvisitrealsoononcei’msettledinseattle.”

“goodluckwiththeinterviews.letmeknowhowtheygo.”

“surething,dad.”

“loveyou,annie.”

“loveyoutoo,dad.”

hesmiles,hisbrowneyeswarm,glowing,andheclimbsbackintohiscar.iwa一vehimoffashedrivesintothedusk,andiwanderlistlesslybackintotheapartment.

firstthingidoischeckmycellphone.itneedsrecharging,soiha一vetohuntdownthechargerandplugitinbeforeicancollectmymessages.fourmissedcalls,onevoicemessage,andtwotexts.threemissedcallsfromchristian…nomessages.onemissedcallfromjoséandavoicemailfromhimwishingmeallthebestforgraduation.

iopenthetexts.

*areyouhomesafe*

*callme*

theyarebothfromchristian,whydidn’thecallthehouse?iheadintomybedroomandfireupthemeanmachine.

from:christiangrey

subject:tonight

date:may25201123:58

to:anastasiasteele

ihopeyoumadeithomeinthatcarofyours.

letmeknowifyou’reokay.

christiangrey

ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.

jeez...whyishesoworriedaboutmybeetle.ithasgivenmethreeyearsofloyalservice,andjoséhasalwaysbeenonhandtomaintainitforme.christian’snextemailisfromtoday.

from:christiangrey

subject:softlimits

date:may26201117:22

to:anastasiasteele

whatcanisaythatiha一ven’talready?

happytotalkthesethroughanytime.

youlookedbeautifultoday.

christiangrey

ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.

iwanttoseehim.ihitreply

from:anastasiasteele

subject:softlimits

date:may26201119:23

to:christiangrey

icancomeoverthiseveningtodiscussifyou’dlike.

ana

from:christiangrey

subject:softlimits

date:may26201119:27

to:anastasiasteele

i’llcometoyou.imeantitwhenisaidiwasn’thappyaboutyoudrivingthatcar.

i’llbewithyoushortly.

christiangrey

ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.

holycrap…he’scomingovernow.iha一vetogetonethingreadyforhim–thefirsteditionthomashardybooksarestillontheshelvesinthelivingroom.icannotkeepthem.iwraptheminbrownpaper,andiscrawlonthewrappingadirectquotefromtessfromthebook:

“hi.”ifeelunbearablyshywheniopenthedoor.christianisstandingontheporchinhisjeansandleatherjacket.

“hi,”hesays,andhisfacelightsupwithhisradiantsmile.itakeamomenttoadmirethepretty.ohmy,he’shotinleather.

“comein.”

“ifimay,”hesaysamused.heholdsupabottleofchampagneashewalksin.“ithoughtwe’dcelebrateyourgraduation.nothingbeatsagoodbollinger.”

“interestingchoiceofwords,”icommentdryly.

hegrins.

“oh,ilikeyourreadywit,anastasia.”

“weonlyha一veteacups.we’vepackedalltheglasses.”

“teacups?soundsgoodtome.”

iheadintothekitchen.nervous,butterfliesfloodingmystomach,it’slikeha一vingapantherormountainlionallunpredictableandpredatoryinmylivingroom.

“doyouwantsaucersaswell?”

“teacupswillbefine,anastasia,”christiancallsdistractedlyfromthelivingroom.

whenireturn,he’sstaringatthebrownparcelofbooks.iplacethecupsonthetable.

“that’sforyou,”imurmuranxiously.

crap…thisisprobablygoingtobeafight.

“hmm,ifiguredasmuch.veryaptquote.”hislongindexfingerabsentlytracesthewriting.“ithoughtiwasd’urberville,notangel.youdecidedonthedebasement.”hegivesmeabriefwolfishsmile.“trustyoutofindsomethingthatresonatessoappropriately.”

“it’salsoaplea,”iwhisper.whyamisonervous?mymouthisdry.

“aplea?formetogoeasyonyou?”

inod.

“iboughttheseforyou,”hesaysquietlyhisgazeimpassive.“i’llgoeasieronyouifyouacceptthem.”

iswallowconvulsively.

“christian,ican’tacceptthem,they’rejusttoomuch.”

“yousee,thisiswhatiwastalkingabout,youdefyingme.iwantyoutoha一vethem,andthat’stheendofthediscussion.it’sverysimple.youdon’tha一vetothinkaboutthis.asasubmissiveyouwouldjustbegratefulforthem.youjustacceptwhatibuyyoubecauseitpleasesmeforyoutodoso.”

“iwasn’tasubmissivewhenyouboughtthemforme,”iwhisper.

“no…butyou’veagreed,anastasia.”hiseyesturnwary.

isigh.iamnotgoingtowinthis,soovertoplanb.

“sotheyareminetodowithasiwish?”

heeyesmesuspiciously,butconcedes.

“yes.”

“inthatcase,i’dliketogivethemtoacharity,oneworkingindarfursincethatseemstobeclosetoyourheart.theycanauctionthem.”

“ifthat’swhatyouwanttodo.”hismouthsetsintoahardline.he’sdisappointed.

iflush.

“i’llthinkaboutit,”imurmur,idon’twanttodisappointhim,andhiswordscomebacktome.iwantyoutowanttopleaseme.

“don’tthink,anastasia.notaboutthis.”histoneisquietandserious.

howcaninotthink?youcanpretendtobeacar,likehisotherpossessions,mysubconsciousmakesanunwelcomevitriolicreturn.iignoreher.oh,can’twerewind?theatmospherebetweenusisnowtense.idon’tknowwhattodo.istaredownatmyfingers.howdoiretrievethissituation?

heputsthechampagnebottleonthetableandstandsinfrontofme.puttinghishandundermychin,hetiltsmyheadup.hegazesdownatme,hisexpressiongra一ve.

“iwillbuyyoulotsofthings,anastasia.getusedtoit.icanaffordit.i’maverywealthyman.”heleansdownandplantsaswift,chastekissonmylips.“please.”hereleasesme.

‘ho’mysubconsciousmouthsatme.