「shepulledonefaintalreadytonight.」

heshookhisheadslightly.「eileenneverfaints.」

「thenitwasaphony.」

hedidn’tlikethateither.

「whatdidyoumean—agoodmandiedforyou?」iasked.

hefrowned,thinkingaboutit.「justrubbish.itoldyouihadadream—」

「i’mtalkingaboutthatguffyoutypedout.」

helookedatmenow,turninghisheadonthepillowasifithadenormousweight.「anotherdream.」

「i’lltryagain.what’scandygotonyou?」

「shoveit,jack,」hesaid,andclosedhiseyes.

igotupandclosedthedoor.「youcan’trunforever,wade.candycouldbeablackmailer,sure.easy.hecouldevenbeniceaboutit—likeyouandliftyourdoughatthesametime.whatisit—awoman?」

「youbelievethatfool,loring,」hesaidwithhiseyesclosed.

「notexactly.whataboutthesister—theonethat’sdead?」

itwasawildpitchinasensebutithappenedtosplittheplate.hiseyessnappedwideopen.abubbleofsalivashowedonhislips.

「isthat—whyyou’rehere?」heaskedslowly,andinawhisperingvoice.

「youknowbetter.iwasinvited.youinvitedme.」

hisheadrolledbackandforthonthepillow.inspiteoftheseconalhewaseatenupbyhisnerves.hisfacewascoveredwithsweat.

「i’mnotthefirstlovinghusbandwhohasbeenanadulterer.leavemealone,damnyou.leavemealone.」

iwentintothebathroomandgotafacetowelandwipedhisfaceoff.igrinnedathimsneeringly.iwastheheeltoendallheels.waituntilthemanisdown,thenkickhimandkickhimagain.he’sweak.hecan’tresistorkickback.

「oneofthesedayswe’llgettogetheronit,」isaid.

「i’mnotcrazy,」hesaid.

「youjusthopeyou’renotcrazy.」

「i’vebeenlivinginhell.」

「ohsure.that’sobvious.theinterestingpointiswhy.here—takethis.」ihadanotherseconaloutofthenighttableandanotherglassofwater.hegotupononeelbowandgrabbedfortheglassandmisseditbyagoodfourinches.iputitinhishand.hemanagedtodrinkandswallowhispill.thenhelaybackflatanddeflated,hisfacedrainedofemotion.hisnosehadthatpinchedlook.hecouldalmosthavebeenadeadman.hewasn’tthrowinganybodydownanystairstonight.mostlikelynotanynight.

whenhiseyelidsgotheavyiwentoutoftheroom.theweightofthewebleywasagainstmyhip,draggingatmypocket.istartedbackdownstairsagain.eileen’sdoorwasopen.herroomwasdarkbuttherewasenoughlightfromthemoontoframeherstandingjustinsidethedoor.shecalledoutsomethingthatsoundedlikeaname,butitwasn’tmine.isteppedclosetoher.

「keepyourvoicedown,」isaid.「he’sgonebacktosleep.」

「ialwaysknewyouwouldcomeback,」shesaidsoftly.「evenaftertenyears.」

ipeeredather.oneofuswasgoofy.

「shutthedoor,」shesaidinthesamecaressingvoice.「alltheseyearsihavekeptmyselfforyou.」

iturnedandshutthedoor.itseemedlikeagoodideaatthemoment.whenifacedhershewasalreadyfallingtowardsme.soicaughther.idamnwellhadto.shepressedherselfhardagainstmeandherhairbrushedmyface.hermouthcameuptobekissed.shewastrembling.herlipsopenedandherteethopenedandhertonguedarted.thenherhandsdroppedandjerkedatsomethingandtherobeshewaswearingcameopenandunderneathitshewasasnakedasseptembermornbutadarnsightlesscoy.

「putmeonthebed,」shebreathed.

ididthat.puttingmyarmsaroundheritouchedbareskin,softskin,softyieldingflesh.iliftedherandcarriedherthefewstepstothebedandloweredher.shekeptherarmsaroundmyneck.shewasmakingsomekindofawhistlingnoiseinherthroat.thenshethrashedaboutandmoaned.thiswasmurder.iwasaseroticasastallion.iwaslosingcontrol.youdon’tgetthatsortofinvitationfromthatsortofwomanveryoftenanywhere.

candysavedme.therewasathinsqueakandiswungaroundtoseethedoorknobmoving.ijerkedlooseandjumpedforthedoor.igotitopenandbargedoutthroughitandthemexwastearingalongthehallanddownthestairs.halfwaydownhestoppedandturnedandleeredatme.thenhewasgone.

iwentbacktothedoorandshutit—fromtheoutsidethistime.somekindofweirdnoiseswerecomingfromthewomanonthebed,butthat’salltheywerenow.weirdnoises.thespellwasbroken.

iwentdownthestairsfastandcrossedintothestudyandgrabbedthebottleofscotchandtiltedit.whenicouldn’tswallowanymoreileanedagainstthewallandpantedandletthestuffburninmeuntilthefumesreachedmybrain.

itwasalongtimesincedinner.itwasalongtimesinceanythingthatwasnormal.thewhiskeyhitmehardandfastandikeptguzzlingituntiltheroomstartedtogethazyandthefurniturewasallinthewrongplacesandthelamplightwaslikewildfireorsummerlightning.theniwasflatoutontheleathercouch,tryingtobalancethebottleonmychest.itseemedtobeempty.itrolledawayandthumpedonthefloor.

thatwasthelastincidentofwhichitookanyprecisenotice.