istoppedoutsideeileen’sdoorandlistened.ididn’thearanysoundofmovementinside,soididn’tknock.ifshewantedtoknowhowhewas,itwasuptoher.downstairsthelivingroomlookedbrightandempty.iputoutsomeofthelights.fromovernearthefrontdoorilookedupatthebalcony.themiddlepartofthelivingroomrosetothefullheightofthehousewallsandwascrossedbyopenbeamsthatalsosupportedthebalcony.thebalconywaswideandedgedontwosidesbyasolidrailingwhichlookedtobeaboutthreeandahalffeethigh.thetopandtheuprightswerecutsquaretomatchthecrossbeams.thediningroomwasthroughasquarearchclosedoffbydoublelouvereddoors.aboveitiguessedtherewereservants’quarters.thispartofthesecondfloorwaswalledoffsotherewouldbeanotherstairwayreachingitfromthekitchenpartofthehouse.wade’sroomwasinthecorneroverhisstudy.icouldseethelightfromhisopendoorreflectedagainstthehighceilingandicouldseethetopfootofhisdoorway.
icutallthelightsexceptinonestandinglampandcrossedtothestudy.thedoorwasshutbuttwolampswerelit,astandinglampattheendoftheleathercouchandacowleddesklamp.thetypewriterwasonaheavystandunderthisandbesideitonthedesktherewasadisorderlymessofyellowpaper.isatinapaddedchairandstudiedthelayout.whatiwantedtoknowwashowhehadcuthishead.isatinhisdeskchairwiththephoneatmylefthand.thespringwassetveryweak.ifitiltedbackandwentover,myheadmighthavecaughtthecornerofthedesk.imoistenedmyhandkerchiefandrubbedthewood.noblood,nothingthere.therewasalotofstuffonthedesk,includingarowofbooksbetweenbronzeelephants,andanold-fashionedsquareglassinkwell.itriedthatwithoutresult.notmuchpointtoitanyway,becauseifsomeoneelsehadsluggedhim,theweapondidn’thavetobeintheroom.andtherewasn’tanyoneelsetodoit.istoodupandswitchedonthecornicelights.theyreachedintotheshadowycornersandofcoursetheanswerwassimpleenoughafterall.asquaremetalwastebasketwaslyingonitssideoveragainstthewall,withpaperspilled.itcouldn’thavewalkedthere,soithadbeenthrownorkicked.itrieditssharpcornerswithmymoistenedhandkerchief.igotthered-brownsmearofbloodthistime.nomysteryatall.wadehadfallenoverandstruckhisheadonthesharpcornerofthewastebasket—aglancingblowmostlikely—pickedhimselfupandbootedthedamnthingacrosstheroom.easy.
thenhewouldhaveanotherquickdrink.thedrinkingliquorwasonthecocktailtableinfrontofthecouch.anemptybottle,anotherthreequartersfull,athermosjugofwaterandasilverbowlcontainingwaterwhichhadbeenicecubes.therewasonlyoneglassanditwasthelargeeconomysize.
havingtakenhisdrinkhefeltalittlebetter.henoticedthephoneoffthehookinablearysortofwayandverylikelydidn’trememberanymorewhathehadbeendoingwithit.sohejustwalkedacrossandputitbackinitscradle.thetimehadbeenjustaboutright.thereissomethingcompulsiveaboutatelephone.thegadget-riddenmanofouragelovesit,loathesit,andisafraidofit.buthealwaystreatsitwithrespect,evenwhenheisdrunk.thetelephoneisafetish.
anynormalmanwouldhavesaidhellointothemouthpiecebeforehangingup,justtobesure.butnotnecessarilyamanwhowasblearywithdrinkandhadjusttakenafall.itdidn’tmatteranyhow.hiswifemighthavedoneit,shemighthaveheardthefallandthebangasthewastebasketbouncedagainstthewallandcomeintothestudy.aboutthattimethelastdrinkwouldkickhiminthefaceandhewouldstaggeroutofthehouseandacrossthefrontlawnandpassoutwhereihadfoundhim.somebodywascomingforhim.bythistimehedidn’tknowwhoitwas.maybethegooddr.verringer.
sofar,sogood.sowhatwouldhiswifedo?shecouldn’thandlehimorreasonwithhimandshemightwellbeafraidtotry.soshewouldcallsomebodytocomeandhelp.theservantswereout,soitwouldhavetobebythetelephone.well,shehadcalledsomebody.shehadcalledthatnicedr.loring.i’djustassumedshecalledhimafterigotthere.shehadn’tsaidso.
fromhereonitdidn’tquiteaddup.you’dexpecthertolookforhimandfindhimandmakesurehewasn’thurt.itwouldn’thurthimtolieoutonthegroundonawarmsummernightforawhile.shecouldn’tmovehim.ithadtakenallihadtodothat.butyouwouldn’tquiteexpecttofindherstandingintheopendoorwaysmokingacigarette,notknowingexceptveryvaguelywherehewas.orwouldyou?ididn’tknowwhatshehadbeenthroughwithhim,howdangeroushewasinthatcondition,howmuchafraidshemightbetogonearhim.「i’vehadallofiticantake,」shehadsaidtomewheniarrived.「youfindhim.」thenshehadgoneinsideandpulledafaint.
itstillbotheredme,butihadtoleaveitatthat.ihadtoassumethatwhenshehadbeenupagainstthesituationoftenenoughtoknowtherewasnothingshecoulddoaboutitexcepttoletitride,thenthatwouldbewhatshewoulddo.justthat.letitride.lethimlieoutthereonthegrounduntilsomebodycamearoundwiththephysicalequipmenttohandlehim.
itstillbotheredme.itbotheredmealsothatshehadcheckedoutandgoneintoherownroomwhilecandyandigothimupstairstobed.shesaidshelovedtheguy.hewasherhusband,theyhadbeenmarriedforfiveyears,hewasaveryniceguyindeedwhensober—thosewereherownwords.drunk,hewassomethingelse,somethingtostayawayfrombecausehewasdangerous.allright,forgetit.butsomehowitstillbotheredme.ifshewasreallyscared,shewouldn’thavebeenstandingthereintheopendoorsmokingacigarette.ifshewasjustbitterandwithdrawnanddisgusted,shewouldn’thavefainted.
therewassomethingelse.anotherwoman,perhaps.thenshehadonlyjustfoundout.lindaloring?maybe.dr.loringthoughtsoandsaidsoinaverypublicmanner.
istoppedthinkingaboutitandtookthecoveroffthetypewriter.thestuffwasthere,severalloosesheetsoftypedyellowpaperthatiwassupposedtodestroysoeileenwouldn’tseethem.itookthemovertothecouchanddecidedideservedadrinktogowiththereadingmatter.therewasahalfbathoffthestudy.irinsedthetallglassoutandpouredalibationandsatdownwithittoread.andwhatireadwasreallywild.likethis: