「it’sgotworse,butiwasalwaysahardmanwithabottle.whenyou’reyoungandinhardconditionyoucanabsorbalotofpunishment.whenyouarepushingfortyyoudon’tsnapbackthesameway.」
ileanedbackandlitacigarette.「whatdidyouwanttoseemeabout?」
「whatdoyouthinki’mrunningawayfrom,marlowe?」
「noidea.idon’thaveenoughinformation.besides,everybodyisrunningawayfromsomething.」
「noteverybodygetsdrunk.whatareyourunningawayfrom?youryouthoraguiltyconscienceortheknowledgethatyou’reasmalltimeoperatorinasmalltimebusiness?」
「igetit,」isaid.「youneedsomebodytoinsult.fireaway,chum.whenitbeginstohurti’llletyouknow.」
hegrinnedandrumpledhisthickcurlyhair.hespearedhischestwithaforefinger.「you’relookingrightatasmalltimeoperatorinasmalltimebusiness,marlowe.allwritersarepunksandiamoneofthepunkest.i’vewrittentwelvebestsellers,andifieverfinishthatstackofmagoozlumonthedeskthereimaypossiblyhavewrittenthirteen.andnotadamnoneofthemworththepowdertoblowittohell.ihavealovelyhomeinahighlyrestrictedresidentialneighborhoodthatbelongstoahighlyrestrictedmultimillionaire.ihavealovelywifewholovesmeandalovelypublisherwholovesmeandilovemethebestofall.i’manegotisticalsonofabitch,aliteraryprostituteorpimp—chooseyourownword—andanall-roundheel.sowhatcanyoudoforme?」
「well,what?」
「whydon’tyougetsore?」
「nothingtogetsoreabout.i’mjustlisteningtoyouhateyourself.it’sboringbutitdoesn’thurtmyfeelings.」
helaughedroughly.「ilikeyou,」hesaid,「let’shaveadrink.」
「notinhere,chum.notyouandmealone.idon’tcaretowatchyoutakethefirstone.nobodycanstopyouandidon’tguessanyonewouldtry.butidon’thavetohelp.」
hestoodup.「wedon’thavetodrinkinhere.let’sgooutsideandglanceatachoiceselectionofthesortofpeopleyougettoknowwhenyoumakeenoughlousymoneytolivewheretheylive,」
「look,」isaid.「shoveit.knockitoff.they’renodifferentfromanybodyelse.」
「yeah,」hesaidtightly,「buttheyoughttobe.ifthey’renot,whatusearethey?they’retheclassofthecountyandthey’renobetterthanabunchoftruckdriversfullofcheapwhiskey.notasgood.」
「knockitoff,」isaidagain.「youwanttogetboiled,getboiled.butdon’ttakeitoutonacrowdthatcangetboiledwithouthavingtolieupwithdr.verringerorgetlooseintheheadandthrowtheirwivesdownthestairs.」
「yeah,」hesaid,andhewassuddenlycalmandthoughtful.「youpassthetest,chum.howaboutcomingtolivehereforawhile?youcoulddomealotofgoodjustbeinghere.」
「idon’tseehow.」
「butido.justbybeinghere.wouldathousandamonthinterestyou?i’mdangerouswheni’mdrunk.idon’twanttobedangerousandidon’twanttobedrunk」
「icouldn’tstopyou.」
「tryitforthreemonths.i’dfinishthedamnbookandthengofaroffforawhile.lieupsomeplaceintheswissmountainsandgetclean.」
「thebook,huh?doyouhavetohavethemoney?」
「no.ijusthavetofinishsomethingistarted.ifidon’ti’mthrough.i’maskingyouasafriend.youdidmorethanthatforlennox.」
istoodupandwalkedoverclosetohimandgavehimahardstare.「igotlennoxkilled,mister.igothimkilled.」
「phooey.don’tgosoftonme,marlowe.」heputtheedgeofhishandagainsthisthroat.「i’muptohereinthesoftbabies.」
「soft?」iasked.「orjustkind?」
hesteppedbackandstumbledagainsttheedgeofthecouch,butdidn’tlosehisbalance.
「thehellwithyou,」hesaidsmoothly.「nodeal.idon’tblameyou,ofcourse.there’ssomethingiwanttoknow,thatihavetoknow.youdon’tknowwhatitisandi’mnotsureiknowmyself.alli’mpositiveofisthatthereissomething,andihavetoknowit.」
「aboutwho?yourwife?」
hemovedhislipsoneovertheother.「ithinkit’saboutme,」hesaid.「let’sgogetthatdrink.」
hewalkedtothedoorandthrewitopenandwewentout.
ifhehadbeentryingtomakemeuncomfortable,hehaddoneafirst-classjob.