chaptersixteen

“doyouwantmetosendheraway?”hannaasks,alarmedatmyexpression.

“um,no.whereisshe?”

“inreception.she’snotalone.she’saccompaniedbyanotheryoung

woman.”

oh!

“andmissprescottwantstotalktoyou,”hannaadds.i’msureshedoes.

“sendherin.”

hannastandsasideandprescottentersmyoffice.she’sonamission,

bristlingwithprofessionalefficiency.

“givemeamoment,hanna.prescott,takeaseat.”

hannaclosesthedoor,lea一vingprescottandmealone.

“mrs.grey,leilawilliamsisonyourproscribedlistofvisitors.”

“what!”iha一veaproscribedlist?

“onourwatchlist,ma’am.taylorandwelchha一vebeenquitespecificabout

notlettinghercomeintocontactwithyou.”

ifrown,notunderstanding.“isshedangerous?”

“ican’tsay,ma’am.”

“whydoievenknowthatshe’shere?”

prescottswallowsandforamomentlooksawkward.“iwasonarestroom

break.shecamein,spokedirectlytoclaire,andclairecalledhanna.”

“oh.isee.”irealizethatevenprescotthastopee,andilaugh.“ohdear.”

“yesma’am.”prescottgivesmeanembarrassedgrin,andit’sthefirsttime

i’veseenachinkinherarmor.shehasalovelysmile.

“ineedtotalktoclaireaboutprotocol,again,”shesays,hertoneweary.

“sure.doestaylorknowshe’shere?”icrossmyfingersunconsciously,

hopingshehasn’ttoldchristian.

“ileftabriefvoicemessageforhim.”

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eljames

oh.

“thenionlyha一veashorttime.i’dliketoknowwhatshewants.”

prescottgazesatmeforamoment.“imustadviseagainstit,ma’am.”

“she’sheretoseemeforareason.”

“i’msupposedtopreventthat,ma’am.”hervoiceissoftbutresigned.

“ireallywanttohearwhatshehastosay.”mytoneismoreforcefulthani

intend.

prescottstifleshersigh.“i’dliketosearchthembothbeforeyoudo.”

“okay.canyoudothat?”

“i’mheretoprotectyou,mrs.grey,soyes,ican.i’dalsoliketostaywithyou

whileyoutalk.”

“okay.”i’llgrantherthisconcession.besides,lasttimeimetleilashewas

armed.“goahead.”

prescottrises.

“hanna,”icall.

hannaopensthedoortooquickly.shemustha一vebeenhoveringoutside.

“canyouchecktoseeifthemeetingroomisfree,please?”

“ialreadyha一ve,andit’sgoodtogo.”

“prescott,canyousearchtheminthere?isitprivateenough?”

“yesma’am.”

“i’llbethereinfiveminutes,then.hanna,showmrs.williamsandwhomever

she’swithintothemeetingroom.”

“willdo.”hannalooksanxiouslyfromprescotttome.“shallicancelyournext

meeting?it’satfour,butit’sacrosstown.”

“yes,”imurmur,distracted.hannanodsthenlea一ves.whatthehelldoesleila

want?idon’tthinkshe’sheretodomeanyharm.shedidn’tinthepastwhen

shehadtheopportunity.christianisgoingtogonuts.mysubconscious

pursesherlips,primlycrossesherlegs,andnods.ineedtotellhimthatiam

doingthis.itypeaquickemail,thenpause,checkingthetime.ifeela

momentarypangofregret.we’vebeengettingalongsowellsinceaspen.i

presssend.

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fiftyshadesfreed

from:anastasiagrey

subject:visitors

date:september6,201115:27

to:christiangrey

christian

leilaisheretoseeme.iwillseeherwithprescott.i’lusemynewlyacquired

slappingskilswithmynowhealedhandshouldineedto.

try,andimeantry,nottoworry.

iamabiggirl.

wilcaloncewe’vespoken.

ax

anastasiagrey

commissioningeditor,sip

hurriedly,ihidemyblackberryinmydeskdrawer.istand,smoothingmy

graypencilskirtovermyhips,pinchmycheekstogivethemsomecolor,and

undothenextbuttononmygraysilkblouse.okay,i’mready.aftertakinga

deepbreath,iheadoutofmyofficetomeetmrs.leilawilliams,ignoring

“yourloveisking”humminggentlyfrominsidemydesk.

leilalooksmuchbetter.morethanbetter—she’sveryattractive.there’sa

rosybloomtohercheeks,andherhazeleyesarebright,herhaircleanand

shiny.she’sdressedinapalepinkblouseandwhitepants.shestandsas

soonasienterthemeetingroom,asdoesherfriend—anotherdark-haired

youngwomanwithsoftbrowneyes,thecolorofbrandy.prescotthoversin

thecorner,nottakinghereyesoffleila.

“mrs.grey,thankyousomuchforseeingme.”leila’svoiceissoftbutclear.

“um...sorryaboutthesecurity,”imutterbecauseicannotthinkwhatelseto

say.iwa一veahanddistractedlyatprescott.

“thisismyfriendsusi.”

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eljames

“hi.”inodatsusi.shelookslikeleila.shelookslikeme.ohno.another

one.

“yes,”leilasays,asifreadingmythoughts.“susiknowsmr.grey,too.”

whatthehellamisupposedtosaytothat?igiveherapolitesmile.

“please,sit,”imurmur.

there’saknockonthedoor.it’shanna.imotionherin,knowingfullwellwhy

she’sdisturbingus.

“sorrytointerrupt,ana.iha一vemr.greyontheline?”

“tellhimi’mbusy.”

“hewasquiteinsistent,”shesaysfearfully.

“iamsurehewas.wouldyouapologizetohim,andsayi’llcallhimbackvery

shortly?”

hannahesitates.

“hanna,please.”

shenodsandscuttlesoutoftheroom.iturnbacktothetwowomensittingin

frontofme.theyarebothstaringatmeinawe.it’suncomfortable.

“whatcanidoforyou?”iask.

susispeaks.“iknowthisisallkindsofweird,butiwantedtomeetyou,too.

thewomanwhocapturedchris—”

iholdupmyhand,stoppingherinmid-flow.idonotwanttohearthis.

“um...igetthepicture,”imutter.

“wecallourselvesthesubclub.”shegrinsatme,hereyesshiningwithmirth.

ohmygod.

leilagaspsandgapesatsusi,atonceamusedandappalled.susiwinces.i

suspectleila’skickedherunderthetable.whatthehellamisupposedto

saytothat?iglancenervouslyatprescott,whoremainsimpassive,hereyes

neverlea一vingleila.susiseemstorememberherself.sheblushes,then

nodsandstands.

“i’llwaitinreception.thisislulu’sshow.”icantellshe’sembarrassed.

lulu?

“you’llbeokay?”sheasksleila,whosmilesupather.susigivesmea

large,open,genuinesmileandexitstheroom.311|page

fiftyshadesfreed

susiandchristian...it’snotathoughtiwishtodwellon.prescotttakesher

phoneoutofherpocketandanswersit.ididn’thearitring.

“mr.grey,”shesays.leilaanditurntolookather.prescottcloseshereyes

asifinpain.

“yes,sir,”shesaysandsteppingforwardhandsmethephone.irollmyeyes.

“christian,”imurmur,tryingtocontainmyexasperation.istandandstride

brisklyoutoftheroom.

“whatthefuckareyouplayingat?”heshouts.he’sseething.

“don’tshoutatme.”

“whatdoyoumeandon’tshoutatyou?”heshouts,louderthistime.

“iga一vespecificinstructionswhichyouha一vecompletelydisregarded—

again.hell,ana,iamfuckingfurious.”

“whenyouarecalmer,wewilltalkaboutthis.”

“don’tyouhanguponme,”hehisses.

“goodbye,christian.”ihangupandswitchoffprescott’sphone.holyshit.i

don’tha一velongwithleila.takingadeepbreath,ireenterthemeetingroom.

bothleilaandprescottlookupatmeexpectantly,andihandprescotther

phone.

“wherewerewe?”iaskleilaasisitbackdownoppositeher.hereyes

widenslightly.

yes—apparentlyihandlehim,iwanttosaytoher.butidon’tthinkshewants

tohearthat.

leilafiddlesnervouslywiththeendsofherhair.“first,iwantedtoapologize,”

shesayssoftly.

oh...

sheglancesupandregistersmysurprise.“yes,”shesaysquickly.

“andtothankyoufornotpressingcharges.youknow—foryourcarandin

yourapartment.”

“iknowyouweren’t...um,well,”imurmur,reeling.ihadn’texpectedan

apology.

“no,iwasn’t.”

“you’refeelingbetternow?”iaskgently.

“much.thankyou.”

“doesyourdoctorknowyou’rehere?”

sheshakesherhead.

oh.

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eljames

shenods,lookingsuitablyguilty.“iknowi’llha一vetodealwiththefalloutfrom

thatlater.butihadtogetsomethings,andiwantedtoseesusi,andyou,

and...mr.grey.”

“youwanttoseechristian?”mystomachfree-fallstothefloor.that’swhy

she’shere.

“yes.iwantedtoaskyouifthatwouldbeokay.”

holyfuck.igapeather,andiwanttotellherthatit’snotokay.idon’twant

heranywherenearmyhusband.whyisshehere?toassessthe

opposition?tounsettleme?orperhapssheneedsthisassomesortof

closure?

“leila.”iflounder,exasperated.“it’snotuptome,it’suptochristian.you’ll

needtoaskhim.hedoesn’tneedmypermission.he’sagrownman...

mostofthetime.”

shegazesatmeforafractionofabeat,asifsurprisedbymyreactionthen

laughssoftly,nervouslytwiddlingtheendofherhair.

“he’srepeatedlyrefusedallmyrequeststoseehim,”shesaysquietly.

ohshit.i’minmoretroublethanithought.

“whyisitsoimportantforyoutoseehim?”iaskgently.

“tothankhim.i’dberottinginastinkingprisonpsychiatricfacilityifitwasn’t

forhim.iknowthat.”sheglancesdown,andrunsherfingeralongtheedgeof

thetable.“isufferedaseriouspsychoticepisode,andwithoutmr.greyand

john—dr.flynn...”sheshrugsandgazesupatmeoncemore,herfacefull

ofgratitude.onceagaini’mspeechless.whatdoessheexpectmetosay?

surelysheshouldbesayingthesethingstochristian,notme.

“andforartschool.ican’tthankhimenoughforthat.”

iknewit!christianisfundingherclasses.iremainexpressionless,tentatively

exploringmyfeelingsforthiswomannowthatshe’sconfirmedmysuspicions

aboutchristian’sgenerosity.tomysurprise,ifeelnoillwilltowardher.it’sa

revelation—i’mgladshe’sbetter.now,hopefully,shecanmoveonwithher

lifeandoutofours.

“areyoumissingclassesbeinghere?”iask,becausei’minterested.

“onlytwo.iheadhometomorrow.”

ohgood.“whatareyourplans,whileyou’rehere?”

“pickupmybelongingsfromsusi,returntohamden.continuepaintingand

learning.mr.greyalreadyhasacoupleofmypaintings.”

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fiftyshadesfreed

what?mystomachplungesintothebasementoncemore.whatthehell...

?aretheyhanginginmylivingroom?ibridleatthethought.

“whatsortofpaintingdoyoudo?”

“abstracts,mainly.”

“isee.”mymindflitsthroughthenow-familiarpaintingsinthegreatroom.

twobymrs.leilawilliams...possibly.jeez.

“mrs.grey,canispeakfrankly?”sheasks,completelyoblivioustomy

warringemotions.

“byallmeans,”imutter,glancingatprescott,wholookslikeshe’srelaxeda

little.leilaleansforwardasiftoimpartalong-heldsecret.

“ilovedgeoff,myboyfriendwhodiedearlierthisyear.”hervoicedropstoa

sadwhisper.

holyshit,she’sgettingpersonal.

“i’msosorry,”imutterautomatically,butshecontinuesasifshehasn’theard

me.

“ilovedmyhusband...andoneother,”shemurmurs.

“myhusband.”thewordsareoutofmymouthbeforeicanstopthem.

“yes.”shemouthstheword.

thisisnotnewstome.whensheliftsherhazeleyestomine,theyarewide

withconflictingemotions,andtheoverridingoneseemstobeapprehension.

apprehensionofmyreaction,perhaps?butmyoverwhelmingresponseto

thispooryoungwomanis...compassion.mentallyirunthroughallthe

classicalliteratureicanthinkofthatdealswithunrequitedlove.swallowing

hard,iclutchthemoralhighground.

“iknow.he’sveryeasytolove,”iwhisper.

herwideeyeswidenfurtherinsurprise,andshesmiles.“yes.heis.was.”

shecorrectsherselfquicklyandblushes.thenshegigglessosweetlythati

can’thelpmyself.igiggle,too.yes,christiangreymakesusgiggly.my

subconsciousrollshereyesatmeindespairandgoesbacktoreadingher

dog-earedcopyofjaneeyre.iglanceatmywatch.deepdowniknow

christianwillbeheresoon.

“you’llgetyourchancetoseechristian.”

“ithoughtiwould.iknowhowprotectivehecanbe.”shesmiles.sothisis

herscheme.she’sveryshrewd.ormanipulative,whispersmy

subconscious.“thisiswhyyou’reheretoseeme?”

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eljames

“yes.”

“isee.”andchristianisplayingintoherhands.reluctantly,iha一veto

acknowledgethatsheknowshimwell.

“heseemedveryhappy.withyou,”shesays.

what?“howwouldyouknow?”

“fromwheniwasintheapartment.”sheaddscautiously.ohhell...how

couldiforgetthat?

“wereyouthereoften?”

“no.buthewasverydifferentwithyou.”

doiwanttohearthis?ashudderrunsthroughme.myscalppricklesasi

recallmyfearwhenshewastheunseenshadowinourapartment.

“youknowit’sagainstthelaw.trespassing.”

shenods,gazingdownatthetable.sherunsafingernailalongtheedge.“it

wasonlyafewtimes,andiwasluckynottogetcaught.again,ineedto

thankmr.greyforthat.hecouldha一vehadmethrowninjail.”

“idon’tthinkhe’ddothat,”imurmur.

suddenlythereisaflurryofactivityoutsidethemeetingroom,and

instinctivelyiknowthatchristianisinthebuilding.amomentlaterhebursts

throughthedoor,andbeforeheclosesit,icatchtaylor’seyeashestands

patientlyoutside.taylor’smouthissetinagrimline,andhedoesn’treturn

mytightsmile.ohhell,evenhe’smadatme.christian’sburninggraygaze

pinsfirstmethenleilatoourchairs.hisdemeanorisquietlydetermined,but

iknowbetter,andisuspectleiladoes,too.themenacingcoolglintinhis

eyesrevealsthetruth—

he’semanatingrage,thoughhehidesitwell.inhisgraysuit,withhisdarktie

loosenedandthetopbuttonofhiswhiteshirtundone,helooksatonce

businesslikeandcasual...andhot.hishairisindisarray—nodoub一t

becausehe’sbeenrunninghishandsthroughitinexasperation.leilalooks

nervouslydownattheedgeofthetable,runningherindexfingeralongthe

edgeagain,aschristianlooksfrommetoherandthentoprescott.

“you,”hesaystoprescottinasofttone.“you’refired.getoutnow.”

iblanch.ohno—thisisn’tfair.

“christian—”imaketostandup.

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fiftyshadesfreed

heholdshisindexfingerupatmeinwarning.

“don’t,”hesays.hisvoicesoominouslyquietthati’mimmediatelysilenced

androotedtomyseat.bowingherhead,prescottwalksbrisklyoutofthe

roomtojointaylor.christianshutsthedoorbehindherandwalkstothe

edgeofthetable.crap!crap!crap!thatwasmyfault.christianstands

oppositeleila,andplacingbothhandsonthewoodensurface,heleans

forward.

“whatthefuckareyoudoinghere?”hegrowlsather.

“christian!”igasp.christianignoresme.

“well?”hedemands.

leilapeeksupathimthroughlonglashes,hereyeswide,herfaceashen,

herrosyglowgone.

“iwantedtoseeyou,andyouwouldn’tletme,”shewhispers.

“soyoucameheretoharassmywife?”hisvoiceisquiet.tooquiet.

leilalooksdownatthetableagain.

christianstandsgloweringather.“leila,ifyoucomeanywherenearmywife

again,iwillcutoffallsupport.doctors,artschool,medicalinsurance—allofit

—gone.doyouunderstand?”

“christian—”itryagain.buthesilencesmewithachillinglook.whyishe

beingsounreasonable?mycompassionforthissadwomanblooms.

“yes,”shesays,hervoicejustaudible.

“what’ssusannahdoinginreception?”

“shecamewithme.”

herunsahandthroughhishair,glaringather.

“christian,please,”ibeghim.“leilajustwantstosaythankyou.that’sall.”

heignoresme,concentratinghiswrathonleila.“didyoustaywith

susannahwhileyouweresick?”

“yes.”

“didsheknowwhatyouweredoingwhileyouwerestayingwithher?”

“no.shewasawayonvacation.”

hestrokeshisindexfingeroverhislowerlip.“whydoyouneedtoseeme?

youknowyoushouldrouteanyrequeststhroughflynn.doyouneed

something?”histonehassoftened,maybebyafraction.316|page

eljames

leilarunsherfingeralongtheedgeofthetableagain.stopbullyingher,

christian!

“ihadtoknow.”andforthefirsttimeshelooksupdirectlyathim.

“hadtoknowwhat?”hesnaps.

“thatyou’reokay.”

hegapesather.“thati’mokay?”hescoffs,disbelieving.

“yes.”

“i’mfine.there,questionanswered.nowtaylorwillrunyoutosea-tacso

youcangobacktotheeastcoast.andifyoutakeonestepwestofthe

mississippiit’sallgone.understand?”

holyfuck...christian!igapeathim.whatthefuckiseatinghim?

hecannotconfinehertoonesideofthecountry.

“yes.iunderstand,”leilasaysquietly.

“good.”christian’stoneismoreconciliatory.