五十度灰(Fifty Shades of Grey)英文版 Part II 15

perhapstoconsidermyrequest.

“okay,”hesayscautiously.

ireachforthesecondbuttononhisshirtandhearhim

catchhisbreath.

“iwon’ttouchyouifyoudon’twantmeto,”iwhisper.

“no,”herespondsquickly.“do.it’sfine.i’mgood,”

hemutters.

igentlyundothebuttonandmyfingersglidedownhis

shirttothenext.hiseyesarelargeandluminous,hislips

partedashisbreathingshallows.heissobeautiful,evenin

hisfear...becauseofhisfear.iundothethirdbuttonand

noticehissofthairpokingthroughthelargevoftheshirt.

“iwanttokissyouthere,”imurmur.

heinhalessharply.“kissme?”

“yes,”imurmur.

hisgaspsasiundothenextbuttonandveryslowly

leanforward,makingmyintentionclear.he’sholdinghis

breath,butstandsstock-stillasiplantagentlekissamong

thesoft,exposedcurls.iundothefinalbuttonandliftmy

facetohim.he’sgazingatme,andthere’salookof

satisfaction,calm,and...wonderonhisface.

“it’sgettingeasier,isn’tit?”iwhisper.

henodsasislowlypushhisshirtoffhisshouldersand

letitfalltothefloor.

“whatha一veyoudonetome,ana?”hemurmurs.

“whateveritis,don’tstop.”andhegathersmeinhis

arms,fistingbothhishandsinmyhairandpullingmyhead

rightbacksothathecanha一veeasyaccesstomythroat.

herunshislipsuptomyjaw,nippingsoftly.igroan.

oh,iwantthisman.myfingersfumbleathiswaistband,

undoingthebuttonandpullingdownthezipper.

“oh,baby,”hebreathesashekissesmebehindmy

ear.ifeelhiserection,firmandhard,strainingagainstme.

iwanthim—inmymouth.istepbackabruptlyanddrop

tomyknees.

“whoa?”hegasps.

itughispantsandboxerssharply,andhespringsfree.

beforehecanstopme,itakehimintomymouth,sucking

hard,enjoyinghisshockedastonishmentashismouth

dropsopen.hegazesdownatme,watchingmyevery

move,eyessodarkandfilledwithcarnalbliss.ohmy.i

sheathmyteethandsuckharder.hecloseshiseyesand

surrenderstothisblissfulcarnalpleasureissoarousing.i

knowwhatidotohim,andit’shedonistic,liberating,and

sexyashell.thefeelingisheady,i’mnotjustpowerful—

i’momniscient.

“fuck,”hehissesandgentlycradlesmyhead,flexing

hishipssohemovesdeeperinsidemymouth.ohyes,i

wantthisandiswirlmytonguearoundhim,pulling

hard...overandover.

“ana.”hetriestostepback.

ohnoyoudon’t,grey.iwantyou.igrabhiships

firmly,doublingmyefforts,andicantellhe’sclose.

“please,”hepants.“i’mgonnacome,ana,”hegroans.

good.myinnergoddess’sheadisthrownbackin

ecstasy,andhecomes,loudlyandwetly,intomymouth.

heopenshisbrightgrayeyes,gazingdownatme,and

ismileupathim,lickingmylips.hegrinsbackatme,a

wicked,salaciousgrin.

“oh,sothisisthegamewe’replaying,misssteele?”

hebends,hookshishandsundermyarms,andpullsme

tomyfeet.suddenlyhismouthisonmine.hegroans.

“icantastemyself.youtastebetter,”hemurmurs

againstmylips.hetugsmyt-shirtoffandthrowsit

carelesslyontothefloor,thenpicksmeupandtossesme

ontothebed.grabbingtheendofmysweats,hetugs

abruptlysothattheycomeoffinoneswiftmove.i’m

nakedunderneath,sprawledacrosshisbed.waiting.

wanting.hiseyesdrinkmein,andslowlyheremoveshis

remainingclothes,nottakinghiseyesoffme.

“youareonebeautifulwoman,anastasia,”he

murmursappreciatively.

hmm...itiltmyheadcoquettishlytoonesideand

beamathim.

“youareonebeautifulman,christian,andyoutaste

mightyfine.”

hegivesmeawickedgrinandreachesforthe

spreaderbar.grabbingmyleftankle,hequicklycuffsit,

strappingthebuckletightly,butnottootight.hetestshow

muchroomiha一vebyslidinghislittlefingerbetweenthe

cuffandmyankle.hedoesn’ttakehiseyesoffmine;he

doesn’tneedtoseewhathe’sdoing.hmm...he’sdone

thisbefore.

“we’llha一vetoseehowyoutaste.ifirecall,you’rea

rare,exquisitedelicacy,misssteele.”

oh.

graspingmyotherankle,hequicklyandefficiently

cuffsthatoneaswell,sothatmyfeetareabouttwofeet

apart.

“thegoodthingaboutthisspreaderis,itexpands,”he

murmurs.heclickssomethingonthebar,thenpushes,so

mylegsspreadfurther.whoa,threefeetapart.mymouth

dropsopen,anditakeadeepbreath.fuck,thisishot.

i’monfire,restlessandneedy.

christianlickshislowerlip.

“oh,we’regoingtoha一vesomefunwiththis,ana.”

reachingdownhegraspsthebarandtwistsitsoiflipon

tomyfront.ittakesmebysurprise.

“seewhaticandotoyou?”hesaysdarklyandtwists

itagainabruptly,soiamoncemoreonmyback,gaping

upathim,breathless.

“theseothercuffsareforyourwrists.i’llthinkabout

that.dependsifyoubeha一veornot.”

“whendoinotbeha一ve?”

“icanthinkofafewinfractions,”hesayssoftly,

runninghisfingersupthesolesofmyfeet.ittickles,butthe

barholdsmeinplace,thoughitrytowritheawayfromhis

fingers.

“yourblackberry,forone.”

igasp.“whatareyougoingtodo?”

“oh,ineverdisclosemyplans.”hesmirks,hiseyes

alightwithpuredevilment.

holycow.he’ssomind-bogglinglysexy,ittakesmy

breathaway.

hecrawlsupthebedsothathe’skneelingbetween

mylegs,gloriouslynaked,andi’mhelpless.

“hmm.youaresoexposed,misssteele.”herunsthe

fingersofbothhishandsuptheinsideofeachofmylegs,

slowly,surely,makingsmallcircularpatterns.never

breakingeyecontactwithme.

“it’sallaboutanticipation,ana.whatwillidoto

you?”hissoftlyspokenwordspenetraterighttothe

deepest,darkest,partofme.iwriggleonthebedand

moan.hisfingerscontinuetheirslowassaultupmylegs,

pastthebacksofmyknees.instinctively,iwanttoclose

mylegsbutican’t.

“remember,ifyoudon’tlikesomething,justtellmeto

stop,”hemurmurs.bendingover,hekissesmybelly,soft,

suckykisseswhilehishandscontinuetheirslowtortuous

journeynorthupmyinnerthighs,touchingandteasing.

“ohplease,christian,”iplead.

“oh,misssteele.i’vediscoveredyoucanbe

mercilessinyouramorousassaultsuponme.ithinki

shouldreturnthefa一vor.”

myfingersclutchtheduvetasisurrendermyselfto

him,hismouthgentlyheadingsouth,hisfingersnorth,to

thevulnerableandexposedapexofmythighs.igroanas

heeaseshisfingersinsidemeandbuckmypelvisupto

meetthem.christianmoansinresponse.

“youneverceasetoamazeme,ana.you’resowet,”

hemurmursagainstthelinewheremypubichairjoinsmy

belly.mybodybowsashismouthfindsme.

ohmy.

hebeginsaslowandsensualassault,histongue

swirlingaroundandaroundwhilehisfingersmoveinside

me.becauseican’tclosemylegs,ormove,it’sintense,

reallyintense.mybackarchesasitrytoabsorbthe

sensations.

“oh,christian,”icry.

“iknow,baby,”hewhispers,andtoeaseuponme,he

blowssoftlyonthemostsensitivepartofmybody.

“arrgh!please!”ibeg.

“saymyname,”hecommands.

“christian,”icall,hardlyrecognizingmyownvoice—

it’ssohigh-pitchedandneedy.

“again,”hebreathes.

“christian,christian,christiangrey,”icalloutloudly.

“youaremine.”hisvoiceissoftanddeadlyandwith

onelastflickofhistongue,ifall—spectacularly—

embracingmyorgasm,andbecausemylegsaresofar

apart,itgoesonandonandiamlost.

vaguely,i’mawarethatchristianhasflippedmeonto

myfront.

“we’regoingtotrythis,baby.ifyoudon’tlikeit,or

it’stoouncomfortable,tellme,andwe’llstop.”

what?iamtoolostintheafterglowtoformany

sentientorcoherentthoughts.iamsittingonchristian’s

lap.howdidthathappen?

“leandown,baby,”hemurmursatmyear.“headand

chestonthebed.”

inadazeidoasi’mtold.hepullsbothmyhands

backwardandcuffsthemtothebar,nexttomyankles.

oh...mykneesaredrawnup,myassintheair,utterly

vulnerable,completelyhis.

“ana,youlooksobeautiful.”hisvoiceisfullof

wonder,andiheartheripoffoil.herunshisfingersfrom

thebaseofmyspinedowntowardmysexandpausesa

beatovermyass.

“whenyou’reready,iwantthis,too.”hisfingeris

hoveringoverme.igasploudlyasifeelmyselftense

underhisgentleprobing.“nottoday,sweetana,butone

day...iwantyoueveryway.iwanttopossessevery

inchofyou.you’remine.”

ithinkaboutthebuttplug,andeverythingtightens

deepinsideme.hiswordsmakemegroan,andhisfingers

movedownandaroundtomorefamiliarterritory.

momentslater,he’sslammingintome.“aagh!gently,”

icry,andhestills.

“youokay?”

“gently...letmegetusedtothis.”

heeasesslowlyoutofmetheneasesgentlyback,

fillingme,stretchingme,twice,thrice,andiamhelpless.

“yes,good,i’vegotitnow,”imurmur,relishingthe

feeling.

hegroans,andpicksuphisrhythm.moving,

moving...relentless...onward,inward,fillingme...

andit’sexquisite.there’sjoyinmyhelplessness,joyinmy

surrendertohim,andtoknowthathecanlosehimselfin

methewayhewantsto.icandothis.hetakesmeto

thesedarkplaces,placesididn’tknowexisted,and

togetherwefillthemwithblindinglight.ohyes...blazing,

blindinglight.

andiletgo,gloryinginwhathedoestome,finding

mysweet,sweetrelease,asicomeagain,loudly,

screaminghisname.andhestills,pouringhisheartand

soulintome.

“ana,baby,”hecriesandcollapsesbesideme.

hisfingersdeftlyundothestraps,andherubsmyankles

thenmywrists.whenhe’sfinishedandi’mfinallyfree,he

pullsmeintohisarmsandidrift,exhausted.

whenisurfaceagain,iamcurledbesidehimandhe’s

gazingatme.iha一venoideawhatthetimeis.

“icouldwatchyousleepforever,ana,”hemurmurs

andhekissesmyforehead.

ismileandshiftlanguorouslybesidehim.

“ineverwanttoletyougo,”hesayssoftlyandwraps

hisarmsaroundme.

hmm.“ineverwanttogo.neverletmego,”imutter

sleepily,myeyelidsrefusingtoopen.

“ineedyou,”hewhispers,buthisvoiceisadistant,

etherealpartofmydreams.heneedsme...needs

me...andasifinallyslipintothedarkness,mylast

thoughtsareofasmallboywithgrayeyesanddirty,

messy,copper-coloredhairsmilingshylyatme.

hmm.

christianisnuzzlingmyneckasislowlywake.

“morning,baby,”hewhispersandnipsatmyearlobe.

myeyesflutteropenandcloseagainquickly.brightearly

morninglightfloodstheroom,andhishandissoftly

caressingmybreast,gentlyteasingme.movingdownhe

graspsmyhipasheliesbehindme,holdingmeclose.

istretchoutbesidehim,relishinghistouch,andfeelhis

erectionagainstmybehind.ohmy.achristiangrey

wake-upcall.

“you’repleasedtoseeme,”imumblesleepily,

squirmingsuggestivelyagainsthim.ifeelhisgrinagainstmy

jaw.

“i’mverypleasedtoseeyou,”hesaysasheskateshis

handovermystomachanddowntocupmysexand

explorewithhisfingers.“therearedefiniteadvantagesto

wakingupbesideyou,misssteele,”heteasesandgently

pullsmeroundsothati’mlyingonmyback.

“sleepwell?”heasksashisfingerscontinuetheir

sensualtorture.he’ssmilingdownatme—hisdazzling,all-

american-drop-dead-male-model-perfect-teethsmile.he

takesmybreathaway.

myhipsbegintoswaytotherhythmofthedancehis

fingersha一vebegun.hekissesmechastelyonthelipsand

thenmovesdownmyneck,nippingslowly,kissing,and

suckingashegoes.imoan.he’sgentleandhistouchis

lightandhea一venly.hisintrepidfingersmovedown,and

slowlyheeasesoneinsideme,hissingquietlyinawe.

“oh,ana,”hemurmursreverentiallyagainstmythroat.

“you’realwaysready.”hemoveshisfingerintimewith

hiskissesashislipsjourneyleisurelyacrossmycla一vicle

andthendowntomybreast.hetormentsfirstone,then

theothernipplewithteethandlips,butoh-so-gently,and

theytightenandlengtheninsweetresponse.

igroan.

“hmm,”hegrowlssoftlyandraiseshisheadtogiveme

ablazinggray-eyedlook.“iwantyounow.”hereaches

overtothebedsidetable.heshiftsontopofme,taking

hisweightonhiselbows,andrubshisnosealongmine

whileeasingmylegsapartwithhis.hekneelsupandrips

openthefoilpacket.

“ican’twaituntilsaturday,”hesays,hiseyesglowing

withsalaciousdelight.

“yourparty?”ipant.

“no.icanstopusingthesefuckers.”

“aptlynamed.”igiggle.

hesmirksatmeasherollsonthecondom.“areyou

giggling,misssteele?”

“no.”itryandfailtostraightenmyface.

“nowisnotthetimeforgiggling.”heshakeshishead

inadmonishmentandhisvoiceislow,stern,buthis

expression—holycow—isglacialandvolcanicatonce.

mybreathcatchesinmythroat.“ithoughtyoulikedit

whenigiggle,”iwhisperhoarsely,gazingintothedark

depthsofhisstormyeyes.

“notnow.there’satimeandaplaceforgiggling.this

isneither.ineedtostopyou,andithinkiknowhow,”he

saysominously,andhisbodycoversmine.

“whatwouldyoulikeforbreakfast,ana?”

“i’lljustha一vesomegranola.thankyou,mrs.jones.”

iflushasitakemyplaceatthebreakfastbarbeside

christian.thelasttimeiseteyesontheveryprimand

propermrs.jones,iwasbeingunceremoniouslydragged

intothebedroomoverchristian’sshoulder.

“youlooklovely,”christiansayssoftly.i’mwearing

mygraypencilskirtandgraysilkblouseagain.

“sodoyou.”ismileshylyathim.he’swearingapale

blueshirtandjeans,andhelookscoolandfreshand

perfect,asalways.

“weshouldbuyyousomemoreskirts,”hesays

matter-of-factly.“infact—i’dlovetotakeyoushopping.”

hmm—shopping.ihateshopping.butwithchristian,

maybeitwon’tbesobad.idecideondistractionasthe

bestformofdefense.

“iwonderwhatwillhappenatworktoday?”

“they’llha一vetoreplacethesleazeball.”christian

frowns,scowlingasifhe’sjuststeppedinsomething

extraordinarilyunpleasant.

“ihopetheytakeonawomanasmynewboss.”

“why?”

“well,you’relesslikelytoobjecttomegoingaway

withher,”iteasehim.

hislipstwitchandhestartsonhisomelet.

“what’ssofunny?”iask.

“youare.eatyourgranola,allofit,ifthat’sallyou’re

ha一ving.”

bossyasever.ipursemylipsathim,butdigin.

“so,thekeygoeshere.”christianpointsouttheignition

beneaththegearshift.

“strangeplace,”imutter.buti’mdelightedwithevery

littledetail,practicallybouncinglikeasmallchildinthe

comfortableleatherseat.christianhasfinallyletmedrive

mycar.

heregardsmecoolly,thoughhiseyesarealightwith

humor.“you’requiteexcitedaboutthis,aren’tyou?”he

murmurs,amused.

inod,grinninglikeafool.“justsmellthatnewcar

smell.thisisevenbetterthanthesubmissivespecial...

um,thea3,”iaddquickly,blushing.

christian’smouthtwists.“submissivespecial,eh?you

ha一vesuchawaywithwords,misssteele.”heleansback

withafauxlookofdisapproval,buthecan’tfoolme.i

knowhe’senjoyinghimself.

“well,let’sgo.”hewa一veshislong-fingeredhand

towardtheentranceofthegarage.

iclapmyhands,startthecar,andtheenginepurrsto

life.puttingthegearshiftintodrive,ieasemyfootoffthe

brakeandthesaabmovessmoothlyforward.taylor

startsuptheaudibehindusandoncethegaragebarrier

lifts,followsusoutofescalaontothestreet.

“canweha一vetheradioon?”iaskaswewaitatthe

firststopsign.

“iwantyoutoconcentrate,”hesayssharply.

“christian,please,icandrivewithmusicon.”irollmy

eyes.hescowlsforamomentandthenreachesforthe

radio.

“youcanplayyouripodandmp3discsaswellas

cdsonthis,”hemurmurs.

thetoo-louddulcettonesofthepolicesuddenlyfill

thecar.christianturnsthemusicdown.hmm...“king

ofpain.”

“youranthem,”iteasehim,theninstantlyregretit

whenhismouthtightensinathinline.ohno.“iha一vethis

album,somewhere.”icontinuehastilytodistracthim.

hmm...somewhereintheapartmentiha一vespentvery

littletimein.

iwonderhowethanis.ishouldtrytocallhimtoday.i

won’tha一vemuchtodoatwork.

anxietybloomsinmystomach.whatwillhappen

whenigettotheoffice?willeveryoneknowaboutjack?

willeveryoneknowofchristian’sinvolvement?willistill

ha一veajob?sheesh,ifiha一venojob,whatwillido?

marrythegazillionaire,ana!mysubconscioushas

hersnarkyfaceon.iignoreher—rapaciousbitch.

“hey,misssmartmouth.comeback.”christian

dragsmeintothehereandnowasipullupatthenext

stoplight.

“you’reverydistracted.concentrate,ana,”hescolds.

“accidentshappenwhenyoudon’tconcentrate.”

oh,forhea一ven’ssake—andsuddenlyi’mcatapulted

backintimetowhenraywasteachingmetodrive.i

don’tneedanotherfather.ahusbandmaybe,akinky

husband.hmm.

“i’mjustthinkingaboutwork.”

“baby,you’llbefine.trustme.”christiansmiles.

“pleasedon’tinterfere—iwanttodothisonmyown.

christian,please.it’simportanttome,”isayasgentlyasi

can.idon’twanttoargue.hismouthsetsoncemoreinto

ahardstubbornline,andithinkhe’sgoingtoberateme

again.

ohno.

“let’snotargue,christian.we’vehadsucha

wonderfulmorning.andlastnightwas—”wordsfailme,

lastnightwas—“hea一ven.”

hesaysnothing.iglanceoverathimandhiseyesare

closed.

“yes.hea一ven,”hesayssoftly.“imeantwhatisaid.”

“what?”

“idon’twanttoletyougo.”

“idon’twanttogo.”

hesmilesandit’sthisnew,shysmilethatdissolves

everythinginitspath.boy,it’spowerful.

“good,”hesayssimply,andhevisiblyrelaxes.

idriveintotheparkinglothalfablockfromsip.

“i’llwalkyoutowork.taylorwilltakemefrom

there,”christianoffers.iclamberoutofthecar,restricted

bymypencilskirtwhilechristianclimbsoutgracefully,at

easewithhisbodyorgivingtheimpressionofsomeoneat

easewithhisbody.hmm...someonewhocan’tbearto

betouchedcan’tbethatatease.ifrownatmyerrant

thought.

“don’tforgetwe’reseeingflynnatseventhis

evening,”hesaysasheholdshishandouttome.ipress

theremotedoorlockandtakehishand.

“iwon’tforget.i’llcompilealistofquestionsforhim.”

“questions?aboutme?”

inod.

“icanansweranyquestionsyouha一veaboutme.”

christianlooksaffronted.

ismileathim.“yes,butiwanttheunbiased,

expensivecharlatan’sopinion.”

hefrownsandsuddenlypullsmeintohisembrace,

holdingbothmyhandstightlybehindmyback.

“isthisagoodidea?”hesays,hisvoicelowand

husky.ileanbacktoseetheanxietyloominglargeand

wideinhiseyes.ittearsatmysoul.

“ifyoudon’twantmeto,iwon’t.”istareathim,

blinking,wantingtocaresstheconcernoutofhisface.i

tugononeofmyhandsandhefreesit.itouchhischeek

tenderly—it’ssmoothfromsha一vingthismorning.

“whatareyouworriedabout?”iask,myvoicesoft

andsoothing.

“thatyou’llgo.”

“christian,howmanytimesdoiha一vetotellyou—i’m

notgoinganywhere.you’vealreadytoldmetheworst.

i’mnotlea一vingyou.”

“thenwhyha一ven’tyouansweredme?”

“answeredyou?”imurmurdisingenuously.

“youknowwhati’mtalkingabout,ana.”

isigh.“iwanttoknowthati’menoughforyou,

christian.that’sall.”

“andyouwon’ttakemywordforit?”hesays

exasperated,releasingme.

“christian,thishasallbeensoquick.andbyyourown

admission,you’refiftyshadesoffucked-up.ican’tgive

youwhatyouneed,”imutter.“it’sjustnotforme.but

thatmakesmefeelinadequate,especiallyseeingyouwith

leila.who’stosaythatonedayyouwon’tmeetsomeone

wholikesdoingwhatyoudo?andwho’stosayyou

won’t,youknow...fallforher?someonemuchbetter

suitedtoyourneeds.”thethoughtofchristianwith

anyoneelsesickensme.istaredownatmyknotted

fingers.

“iknewseveralwomenwholikedoingwhatiliketo

do.noneofthemappealedtomethewayyoudo.i’ve

neverhadanemotionalconnectionwithanyofthem.it’s

onlyeverbeenyou,ana.”

“becauseyouneverga一vethemachance.you’vespent

toolonglockedupinyourfortress,christian.look,let’s

discussthislater.iha一vetogotowork.maybedr.flynn

canofferushisinsight.”thisisallfartoohea一vya

discussionforaparkinglotateightfiftyinthemorning,and

christian,foronce,seemstoagree.henodsbuthiseyes

arewary.

“come,”heorders,holdingouthishand.

whenireachmydesk,ifindanoteaskingmetogo

straighttoelizabeth’soffice.myheartleapsintomy

mouth.oh,thisisit.i’mgoingtogetfired.

“anastasia.”elizabethsmileskindly,wa一vingmeintoa

chairbeforeherdesk.isitandgazeatherexpectantly,

hopingthatshecan’thearmythumpingheart.she

smoothesherthickblackhairandregardswithmewith

somber,clearblueeyes.

“iha一vesomerathersadnews.”

sad!ohno.

“i’vecalledyouintoinformyouthatjackhasleftthe

companyrathersuddenly.”

iflush.thisisn’tsadforme.shoulditellherthati

know?

“hisratherhastydeparturehasleftavacancy,and

we’dlikeyoutofillitfornow,untilwefinda

replacement.”

what?ifeelthebloodrushfrommyhead.me?

“but,i’veonlybeenhereforaweekorso.”

“yes,anastasia,iunderstandbutjackwasalwaysa

championofyourabilities.hehadhighhopesforyou.”

istopbreathing.hehadhighhopesofgettingmeon

myback,sure.

“here’sadetailedjobdescription.ha一veagoodlook

throughit,andwecandiscussitlatertoday.”

“but—”

“please,iknowthisissudden,butyou’vealready

madecontactwithjack’skeyauthors.yourchapternotes

ha一ven’tgoneunnoticedbytheothercommissioning

editors.youha一veashrewdmind,anastasia.weallthink

youcandoit.”

“okay.”thisisunreal.

“look,thinkaboutit.inthemeantime,youcantake

jack’soffice.”

shestands,effectivelydismissingme,andholdsouther

hand.ishakeitinacompletedaze.

“i’mgladhe’sgone,”shewhispersandahauntedlook

crossesherface.holyshit.whatdidhedotoher?

backatmydesk,igrabmyblackberryandcall

christian.