五十度灰(Fifty Shades of Grey)英文版 Part II 5

“theapartment?”

“no.iwasthinkingofthetreasuremapthatwe’ve

drawnonyou.”myfingersitchtotouchhim.

hiseyebrowsliftinsurprise,andheblinkswith

uncertainty.irubmynoseagainsthis.

“andwhatwouldthatentailexactly,misssteele?”

iliftmyhandfromhisshoulderandrunmyfingertips

downhisface.

“ijustwanttotouchyoueverywherei’mallowed.”

christiancatchesmyindexfingerinhisteeth,biting

downgently.

“ow,”iprotestandhegrins,alowgrowlcomingfrom

histhroat.

“okay,”hesays,releasingmyfinger,buthisvoiceis

lacedwithapprehension.“wait.”heleansbehindme,

liftingmeagain,andremoveshiscondom,droppingit

unceremoniouslyonthefloorbesidethebed.

“ihatethosethings.i’veagoodmindtocalldr.

greenearoundtogiveyouashot.”

“youthinkthetopob-gyninseattleisgoingtocome

running?”

“icanbeverypersuasive,”hemurmurs,hookingmy

hairbehindmyear.“franco’sdoneagreatjobonyour

hair.iliketheselayers.”

what?

“stopchangingthesubject.”

heshiftsmebacksoi’mstraddlinghim,leaningonhis

propped-upknees,myfeetoneithersideofhiships.he

leansbackonhisarms.

“touchaway,”hesayswithouthumor.helooks

nervous,buthe’stryingtohideit.

keepingmyeyesonhis,ireachdownandtracemy

fingerunderneaththelipstickline,acrosshisfinely

sculpturedabdominalmuscles.heflinchesandistop.

“idon’tha一veto,”iwhisper.

“no,it’sfine.justtakessome...readjustmentonmy

part.noone’stouchedmeforalongtime,”hemurmurs.

“mrs.robinson?”thewordspopunbiddenoutofmy

mouth,andamazingly,imanagetokeepallbitternessand

rancoroutofmyvoice.

henods,hisdiscomfortobvious.“idon’twanttotalk

abouther.itwillsouryourgoodmood.”

“icanhandleit.”

“no,youcan’t,ana.youseeredwheneverimention

her.mypastismypast.it’safact.ican’tchangeit.i’m

luckythatyoudon’tha一veone,becauseitwoulddriveme

crazyifyoudid.”

ifrownathim,butidon’twanttofight.“driveyou

crazy?morethanyouarealready?”ismile,hopingto

lightentheatmospherebetweenus.

hislipstwitch.“crazyforyou,”hewhispers.

myheartswellswithjoy.

“shallicalldr.flynn?”

“idon’tthinkthatwillbenecessary,”hesaysdryly.

shiftingbacksohedropshislegs,iplacemyfingers

backonhisstomachandletthemdriftacrosshisskin.he

stillsoncemore.

“iliketouchingyou.”myfingersskatedowntohis

na一velthensouthwardalonghishappy,happytrail.hislips

partashisbreathingchanges,hiseyesdarkenandhis

erectionstirsandtwitchesbeneathme.holycow.round

two.

“again?”imurmur.

hesmiles.“ohyes,misssteele,again.”

whatadeliciouswaytospendasaturdayafternoon.i

standbeneaththeshower,absentmindedlywashingmyself,

carefulnottowetmytied-backhair,contemplatingthelast

coupleofhours.christianandvanillaseemtobegoing

well.

he’srevealedsomuchtoday.it’sstaggering,tryingto

assimilatealltheinformationandtoreflectonwhati’ve

learned:hissalarydetails—whoa,he’sstinkingrich,and

forsomeonesoyoung;it’sjustextraordinary—andthe

dossiershehasonmeandonallhisbrunettesubmissives.

iwonderiftheyareallinthatfilingcabinet?

mysubconsciouspursesherlipsatmeandshakesher

head—don’tevengothere.ifrown.justaquickpeek?

andthere’sleila—withagun,potentially,somewhere

—andhercraptasteinmusicstillonhisipod.buteven

worse,mrs.paedorobinson,icannotwrapmyhead

aroundher,andidon’twantto.idon’twanthertobea

shimmering-hairedspecterinourrelationship.he’sright,i

dogooffthedeependwhenithinkofher,soperhapsit’s

bestifidon’t.

istepoutoftheshoweranddrymyself,andi’m

suddenlyseizedbyunexpectedanger.

butwhowouldn’tgooffthedeepend?whatnormal,

sanepersonwoulddothattoafifteen-year-oldboy?how

muchhasshecontributedtohisfuckedupness?idon’t

understandher.andworsestill,hesaysshehelpedhim.

how?

ithinkofhisscars,thestarkphysicalembodimentofa

horrificchildhoodandasickeningreminderofwhatmental

scarshemustbear.mysweet,sadfiftyshades.he’ssaid

suchlovingthingstoday.he’scrazyforme.

staringatmyreflection,ismileatthememoryofhis

words,myheartbrimmingoncemore,andmyface

transformswitharidiculoussmile.perhapswecanmake

thiswork.buthowlongwillhewanttodothiswithout

wantingtobeatthecrapoutofmebecauseicrosssome

arbitraryline?

mysmiledissolves.thisiswhatidon’tknow.thisis

theshadowthathangsoverus.kinkyfuckery,yes,ican

dothat,butmore?

mysubconsciousstaresatmeblankly,foronce

offeringnosnarkywordsofwisdom.iheadbacktomy

bedroomtodress.

christianisdownstairsgettingready,doingwhatever

he’sdoing,soiha一vethebedroomtomyself.aswellasall

thedressesinthecloset,iha一vedrawersfullofnew

underwear.iselectablackbustiercorsetcreationwitha

pricetagoffivehundredfortydollars.ithassilvertrimlike

filigreeandthebriefestofpantiestomatch.thigh-high

stockings,too,inanaturalcolor,sofine,puresilk.wow,

theyfeel...slinky...andkindofhot...yeah.

iamreachingforthedresswhenchristianenters

unannounced.whoa,youcouldknock!hestands

immobilized,staringatme,grayeyesglimmering,hungrily.

iblushcrimsoneverywhere,itfeels.heiswearingawhite

shirtandblacksuitpants,theneckofhisshirtisopen.i

canseethelipsticklinestillinplace,andhe’sstillstaring.

“canihelpyou,mr.grey?iassumethereissome

purposetoyourvisitotherthantogawkmindlesslyatme.”

“iamratherenjoyingmymindlessgawk,thankyou,

misssteele,”hemurmursdarkly,steppingfurtherintothe

roomanddrinkingmein.“remindmetosendapersonal

noteofthankstocarolineacton.”

ifrown.whothehellisshe?

“thepersonalshopperatneiman’s,”hesays,spookily

answeringmyunspokenquestion.

“oh.”

“i’mquitedistracted.”

“icanseethat.whatdoyouwant,christian?”igive

himmyno-nonsensestare.

heretaliateswithhiscrookedsmileandpullsthesilver

ballegg-thingsfromhispocket,stoppingmeinmytracks.

holyshit!hewantstospankme?now?why?

“it’snotwhatyouthink,”hesaysquickly.

“enlightenme,”iwhisper.

“ithoughtyoucouldwearthesetonight.”

andtheimplicationsofthatsentencehangbetweenus

astheideasinksin.

“tothisevent?”i’mshocked.

henodsslowly,hiseyesdarkening.

ohmy.

“willyouspankmelater?”

“no.”

foramoment,ifeelatinyfleetingstabof

disappointment.

hechuckles.“youwantmeto?”

iswallow.ijustdon’tknow.

“well,restassurediamnotgoingtotouchyoulike

that,notevenifyoubegme.”

oh!thisisnews.

“doyouwanttoplaythisgame?”hecontinues,holding

uptheballs.“youcanalwaystakethemoutifit’stoo

much.”

igazeathim.helookssowickedlytempting—

unkempt,recentlyfuckedhair,darkeyesdancingwith

eroticthoughts,thatbeautifulsculpturedmouth,lipsraised

inasexy,amusedsmile.

“okay,”iacquiescesoftly.hell,yes!myinner

goddesshasfoundhervoiceandisshoutingfromthe

rooftops.

“goodgirl,”christiangrins.“comehere,andi’llput

themin,onceyou’veputyourshoeson.”

myshoes?iturnandglanceatthedovegraysuede

stilettosthatmatchthedressi’vechosentowear.

humorhim!myinnergoddessbarksatme.

heholdsouthishandtosupportmewhileistepinto

thechristianlouboutinshoes,astealatthree-thousand

twohundredninety-fivedollars.imustbeatleastfive

inchestallernow.

heleadsmetothebedsideanddoesn’tsit,butwalks

overtotheonlychairintheroom.pickingitup,hecarries

itoverandplacesitinfrontofme.

“wheninod,youbenddownandholdontothechair.

understand?”hisvoiceishusky.

“yes.”

“good.nowopenyourmouth,”heorders,hisvoice

stilllow.

idoasi’mtold,thinkingthathe’sgoingtoputtheballs

inmymouthagaintolubricatethem.no,heslipshisindex

fingerin.

oh...

“suck,”hesays.ireachupandclasphishand,holding

himsteady,anddoasi’mtold—see,icanbeobedient,

wheniwant.

hetastesofsoap...hmm.isuckhard,andi’m

rewardedwhenhiseyeswidenandhislipspartashe

inhales.i’mnotgoingtoneedanylubricantatthisrate.he

putstheballsinhismouthasifellatehisfinger,twirlingmy

tongueroundit.whenhetriestowithdrawit,iclampmy

teethdown.

hegrinsthenshakeshishead,admonishingme,soilet

go.henods,andibenddownandgraspthesidesofthe

chair.hemovesmypantiestoonesideandveryslowly

slidesafingerintome,circlingleisurely,soifeelhim,onall

sides.ican’thelpthemoanthatescapesfrommylips.

hewithdrawshisfingerbrieflyandwithtendercare,

insertstheballsoneatatime,pushingthemdeepinside

me.oncetheyareinposition,hesmoothesmypanties

backintoplaceandkissesmybackside.runninghishands

upeachofmylegsfromankletothigh,hegentlykissesthe

topofeachthighwheremyhold-upsfinish.

“youha一vefine,finelegs,misssteele,”hemurmurs.

standing,hegraspsmyhipsandpullsmybehind

againsthimsoifeelhiserection.

“maybei’llha一veyouthiswaywhenwegethome,

anastasia.youcanstandnow.”

ifeelgiddy,beyondarousedastheweightoftheballs

pushandpullinsideme.leaningdownfrombehindme

christiankissesmyshoulder.

“iboughttheseforyoutoweartolastsaturday’s

gala.”heputshisarmaroundmeandholdsouthishand.

inhispalmrestsasmallredboxwithcartierinscribedon

thelid.“butyouleftme,soineverhadtheopportunityto

givethemtoyou.”

oh!

“thisismysecondchance,”hemurmurs,hisvoicestiff

withsomeunnamedemotion.he’snervous.

tentatively,ireachfortheboxandopenit.inside

shinesapairofdropearrings.eachhasfourdiamonds,

oneatthebase,thenagap,thenthreeperfectlyspaced

diamondshangingoneaftertheother.they’rebeautiful,

simple,andclassic.whatiwouldchoosemyself,ifiwere

evergiventheopportunitytoshopatcartier.

“they’relovely,”iwhisper,andbecausetheyare

second-chanceearrings,ilovethem.“thankyou.”

herelaxesagainstmeasthetensionlea一veshisbody,

andhekissesmyshoulderagain.

“you’rewearingthesilversatindress?”heasks.

“yes?isthatokay?”

“ofcourse.i’llletyougetready.”heheadsoutthe

doorwithoutabackwardglance.

iha一veenteredanalternateuniverse.theyoungwoman

staringbackatmelooksworthyofaredcarpet.her

strapless,floor-length,silversatingownissimplystunning.

maybei’llwritetocarolineactonmyself.it’sfittedand

flatterswhatlittlecurvesiha一ve.

myhairfallsinsoftwa一vesaroundmyface,spilling

overmyshoulderstomybreasts.ituckonesidebehind

myear,revealingmysecond-chanceearrings.iha一vekept

mymakeuptoaminimum,anaturallook.eyeliner,

mascara,alittlepinkblush,andpalepinklipstick.

idon’treallyneedtheblush.iamslightlyflushedfrom

theconstantmovementofthesilverballs.yes,they’ll

guaranteeiha一vesomecolorinmycheekstonight.shaking

myheadattheaudacityofchristian’seroticideas,ilean

downtocollectmysatinwrapandsilverclutchpurseand

goinsearchofmyfiftyshades.

heistalkingtotaylorandthreeothermeninthe

hallway,hisbacktome.theirsurprised,appreciative

expressionsalertchristiantomypresence.heturnsasi

standandwaitawkwardly.

holycow!mymouthdries.helooksstunning...

blackdinnersuit,blackbowtie,andhisexpressionashe

gazesatmeisoneofawe.hestrollstowardmeand

kissesmyhair.

“anastasia.youlookbreathtaking.”

iflushatthiscomplimentinfrontoftaylorandthe

othermen.

“aglassofchampagnebeforewego?”

“please,”imurmur,fartooquickly.

christiannodstotaylorwhoheadsintothefoyerwith

histhreecohorts.

inthegreatroom,christianretrievesabottleof

champagnefromthefridge.

“securityteam?”iask.

“closeprotection.they’reundertaylor’scontrol.

he’strainedinthat,too.”christianhandsmeachampagne

flute.

“he’sveryversatile.”

“yes,heis.”christiansmiles.“youlooklovely,

anastasia.cheers.”heraiseshisglass,andiclinkitwith

mine.thechampagneisapalerosecolor.ittastes

deliciouslycrispandlight.

“howareyoufeeling?”heasks,hiseyesheated.

“fine,thankyou.”ismilesweetly,givingnothingaway,

knowingfullwellhe’sreferringtothesilverballs.

hesmirksatme.

“here,you’regoingtoneedthis.”hehandsmealarge

velvetpouchthatwasrestingonthekitchenisland.“open

it,”hesaysbetweensipsofchampagne.intrigued,ireach

intothebagandpulloutanintricatesilvermasquerade

maskwithcobaltbluefeathersinaplumecrowningthe

top.

“it’samaskedball,”hestatesmatter-of-factly.

“isee.”themaskisbeautiful.asilverribbonis

threadedaroundtheedgesandexquisitesilverfiligreeis

etchedaroundtheeyes.

“thiswillshowoffyourbeautifuleyes,anastasia.”

igrinathim,shyly.

“areyouwearingone?”

“ofcourse.they’reveryliberatinginaway,”headds,

raisinganeyebrow,andhesmirks.

oh.thisisgoingtobefun.

“come.iwanttoshowyousomething.”holdingout

hishand,heleadsmeoutintothehallwayandtoadoor

besidethestairs.heopensit,revealingalargeroom

roughlythesamesizeashisplayroom,whichmustbe

directlyaboveus.thisoneisfilledwithbooks.wow,a

library,everywallcrammedfloortoceiling.inthecenteris

afull-sizebilliardtableilluminatedbyalongtriangularprism-

shapedtiffanylamp.

“youha一vealibrary!”isqueakinawe,overwhelmed

withexcitement.

“yes,theballsroomaselliotcallsit.theapartmentis

quitespacious.irealizedtoday,whenyoumentioned

exploring,thati’venevergivenyouatour.wedon’tha一ve

timenow,butithoughti’dshowyouthisroom,and

maybechallengeyoutoagameofbilliardsinthenot-toodistant

future.”

igrinathim.

“bringiton.”isecretlyhugmyselfwithglee.joséandi

bondedoverpool.we’vebeenplayingforthelastthree

years.iamacewithacue.joséhasbeenagoodteacher.

“what?”christianasks,amused.

oh!ireallymuststopexpressingeveryemotioni

feeltheinstantifeelit,iscoldmyself.

“nothing,”isayquickly.

christiannarrowshiseyes.

“well,maybedoctorflynncanuncoveryoursecrets.

you’llmeethimthisevening.”

“theexpensivecharlatan?”holyshit.

“theverysame.he’sdyingtomeetyou.”

christiantakesmyhandandgentlyskimshisthumbacross

myknucklesaswesitinthebackoftheaudiheading

north.isquirm,andfeelthesensationinmygroin.iresist

theurgetomoan,astaylorisinthefront,notwearinghis

ipod,withoneofthesecurityguyswhosenameithinkis

sawyer.

iambeginningtofeeladull,pleasurableachedeepin

mybelly,causedbytheballs.idly,iwonder,howlongwill

ibeabletomanagewithoutsome,um...relief?icross

mylegs.asido,somethingthat’sbeennigglingmeinthe

backofmymindsuddenlysurfaces.

“wheredidyougetthelipstick?”iaskchristian

quietly.

hesmirksatmeandpointstowardthefront.“taylor,”

hemouths.

iburstoutlaughing.“oh.”andstopquickly—the

balls.

ibitemylip.christiansmilesatme,hiseyesgleaming

wickedly.heknowsexactlywhathe’sdoing,sexybeast

thatheis.

“relax,”hebreathes.“ifit’stoomuch...”hisvoice

trailsoff,andhegentlykisseseachknuckleinturn,then

gentlysucksthetipofmylittlefinger.

nowiknowhe’sdoingthisonpurpose.iclosemy

eyesasdarkdesireunfoldsthroughoutmybody.i

surrenderbrieflytothesensation,mymusclesclenching

deepinsideme.ohmy.

wheniopenmyeyesagain,christianisregardingme

closely,adarkprince.itmustbethedinnerjacketand

bowtie,buthelooksolder,sophisticated,adevastatingly

handsomerouéwithlicentiousintent.

hesimplytakesmybreathaway.i’minhissexual

thrall,andifi’mtobelievehim,he’sinmine.thethought

bringsasmiletomyface,andhisansweringgrinis

blinding.

“sowhatcanweexpectatthisevent?”

“oh,theusualstuff,”christiansaysbreezily.

“notusualforme,”iremindhim.

christiansmilesfondlyandkissesmyhandagain.“lots

ofpeopleflashingtheircash.auction,raffle,dinner,

dancing—mymotherknowshowtothrowaparty.”he

smilesandforthefirsttimeallday,iallowmyselftofeela

littleexcitedaboutthisparty.

thereisalineofexpensivecarsheadingupthe

drivewayofthegreymansion.long,palepinkpaper

lanternshangoverthedrive,andasweinchcloserinthe

audi,icanseetheyareeverywhere.intheearlyevening

light,theylookmagical,asifwe’reenteringanenchanted

kingdom.iglanceatchristian.howsuitableformyprince

—andmychildishexcitementblooms,eclipsingallother

feelings.

“maskson,”christiangrins,andashedonshissimple

blackmask,myprincebecomessomethingdarker,more

sensual.

allicanseeofhisfaceishisbeautifulchiseledmouth

andstrongjaw.

holyfuck...myheartbeatlurchesatthesightofhim.

ifastenmymaskandgrinathim,ignoringthehungerdeep

inmybody.

taylorpullsintothedriveway,andavaletopens

christian’sdoor.sawyerleapsouttoopenmine.

“ready?”christianasks.

“asi’lleverbe.”

“youlookbeautiful,anastasia.”hekissesmyhand

andexitsthecar.

adarkgreencarpetrunsalongthelawntoonesideof

thehouse,leadingtotheimpressivegroundsattherear.

christianhasaprotectivearmaroundme,restinghishand

onmywaist,aswefollowthegreencarpetwithasteady

streamofseattle’selitedressedintheirfineryandwearing

allmannerofmasksthelanternslightingtheway.two

photographersmarshalgueststoposeforpicturesagainst

thebackdropofanivy-strewnarbor.

“mr.grey!”oneofthephotographerscalls.christian

nodsinacknowledgementandpullsmecloseaswepose

quicklyforaphoto.howdotheyknowit’shim?his

trademark,unrulycopperhairnodoub一t.

“twophotographers?”iaskchristian.

“oneisfromtheseattletimes;theotherisfora

souvenir.we’llbeabletobuyacopylater.”

oh,mypictureinthepressagain.leilabrieflyenters

mymind.thisishowshefoundme,posingwithchristian.

thethoughtisunsettling,thoughit’scomfortingthatiam

unrecognizablebeneathmymask.

attheendoftheline,white-suitedserversholdtrays

ofglassesbrimmingwithchampagne,andi’mgrateful

whenchristianpassesmeaglass—effectivelydistracting

mefrommydarkthoughts.

weapproachalargewhitepergolahungwithsmaller

versionsofthepaperlanterns.beneathit,shinesablack

andwhitecheckereddancefloorsurroundedbyalow

fencewithentrancesonthreesides.ateachentrance

standtwoelaborateicesculpturesofswans.thefourth

sideofthepergolaisoccupiedbyastagewhereastring

quartetisplayingsoftly,ahaunting,etherealpieceidon’t

recognize.thestagelookssetforabigbandbutas

there’snosignofthemusiciansyet.ifigurethismustbe

forlater.takingmyhand,christianleadsmebetween

swansontothedancefloorwheretheotherguestsare

congregating,chattingoverglassesofchampagne.

towardtheshorelinestandsanenormousmarquee,

openonthesidenearesttoussoicanglimpsethe

formallyarrangedtablesandchairs.therearesomany!

“howmanypeoplearecoming?”iaskchristian,

thrownbythescaleofthemarquee.

“ithinkaboutthreehundred.you’llha一vetoaskmy

mother.”hesmilesdownatme,andmaybeit’sbecausei

canonlyseehissmilethatlightsuphisface,butmyinner

goddessswoons.

“christian!”

ayoungwomanappearsoutofthethrongandthrows

herarmsaroundhisneck,andimmediatelyiknowit’s

mia.she’sdressedinasleek,palepink,full-lengthchiffon

gownwithastunning,delicatelydetailedvenetianmaskto

match.shelooksamazing.andforamoment,iha一ve

neverfeltsogratefulforthedresschristianhasgivenme.

“ana!oh,darling,youlookgorgeous!”shegivesme

aquickhug.“youmustcomeandmeetmyfriends.none

ofthemcanbelievethatchristianfinallyhasagirlfriend.”

ishootaquickpanickedglanceatchristian,who

shrugsinaresignedi-know-she’s-impossible-i-had-tolive-

with-her-for-yearsway,andletmialeadmeovertoa

groupoffouryoungwomen,allexpensivelyattiredand

impeccablygroomed.

miamakeshastyintroductions.threeofthemare

sweetandkind,butlily,ithinkhernameis,regardsme

sourlyfrombeneathherredmask.

“ofcourseweallthoughtchristianwasgay,”shesays

snidely,concealingherrancorwithalarge,fakesmile.

miapoutsather.

“lily,beha一veyourself.it’sobvioushehasexcellent

tasteinwomen.hewaswaitingfortherightonetocome

along,anditwasn’tyou!”

lilyblushesthesamecolorashermask,asdoi.

couldthisbeanymoreuncomfortable?

“ladies,ificouldclaimmydateback,please?”

snakinghisarmaroundmywaist,christianpullsmetohis

side.allfourwomenflush,grinandfidget,hisdazzling

smiledoingwhatitalwaysdoes.miaglancesatmeand

rollshereyes,andiha一vetolaugh.

“lovelytomeetyou,”isayashedragsmeaway.

“thankyou,”imouthatchristianwhenwe’resome

distanceaway.

“isawthatlilywaswithmia.sheisonenastypiece

ofwork.”

“shelikesyou,”imutterdryly.

heshudders.“well,thefeelingisnotmutual.come,

letmeintroduceyoutosomepeople.”

ispendthenexthalfhourinawhirlwindof

introductions.imeettwohollywoodactors,twomore

ceos,andseveraleminentphysicians.holyshit...

thereisnowayiamgoingtoremembereveryone’s

name.

christiankeepsmecloseathisside,andi’mgrateful.

frankly,thewealth,theglamour,andthesheerla一vishscale

oftheeventintimidatesme.iha一veneverbeentoanything

likethisinmylife.