hisresponsemakesmesmile,stillsobossy,stillso
christian.willthatchange,too?andirealizeinthat
momentthatihopenot.ilikehimlikethis—commanding
—aslongasicanstanduptohimwithoutfearof
punishment.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:mr.grumpy
date:june10,201100:07
to:christiangrey
yousoundyourusualbossyandpossiblytense,possibly
grumpyself,mr.grey.
iknowsomethingthatcouldeasethat.butthen,you’renothere
—youwouldn’tletmestay,andyouexpectmetobeg...
dreamon,sir.
anaxx
ps:ialsonotethatyouincludedthestalker’santhem,“every
breathyoutake.”idoenjoyyoursenseofhumor,butdoesdr.
flynnknow?
from:christiangrey
subject:zen-likecalm
date:june10,201100.10
to:anastasiasteele
mydearestmisssteele
spankingoccursinvanillarelationships,too,youknow.usually
consensuallyandinasexualcontext...butiammorethanhappy
tomakeanexception.
you’llberelievedtoknowthatdr.flynnalsoenjoysmysenseof
humor.
now,pleasegotosleepasyouwon’tgetmuchtomorrow.
incidentally—youwillbeg,trustme.andilookforwardtoit.
christiangrey
tenseceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:goodnight,sweetdreams
date:june10,201100:12
to:christiangrey
well,sinceyouasksonicely,andilikeyourdeliciousthreat,i
shallcurlupwiththeipadthatyouha一vesokindlygivenmeand
fallasleepbrowsinginthebritishlibrary,listeningtothemusic
fallasleepbrowsinginthebritishlibrary,listeningtothemusic
thatsaysitforyou.
axxx
from:christiangrey
subject:onemorerequest
date:june10,201100:15
to:anastasiasteele
dreamofme.
x
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
dreamofyou,christiangrey?always.
ichangequicklyintomypajamas,brushmyteeth,and
slipintobed.puttingmyearbudsin,ipulltheflattened
charlietangoballoonfromunderneathmypillowandhug
ittome.
iambrimmingwithjoy,astupid,widemouthedgrinon
myface.whatadifferenceadaycanmake.howami
evergoingtosleep?
joségonzalezstartstosingasoothingmelodywitha
hypnoticguitarriff,andidriftslowlyintosleep,marveling
howtheworldhasrighteditselfinoneeveningand
wonderingidlyifishouldmakeaplaylistforchristian.
wonderingidlyifishouldmakeaplaylistforchristian.
theonegoodthingaboutbeingcar-lessisthatonthebus
onmywaytowork,icanplugmyheadphonesintomy
ipadwhileit’ssafelyinmypurseandlistentoallthe
wonderfultuneschristianhasgivenme.bythetimei
arriveattheoffice,iha一vethemostludicrousgrinonmy
face.
jackglancesupatmeanddoesadoubletake.
“goodmorning,ana.youlook...radiant.”his
remarkflustersme.howinappropriate!
“isleptwell,thankyou,jack.goodmorning.”
hisbrowcrinkles.
“canyoureadtheseformeandha一vereportsonthem
bylunchtime,please?”hehandsmefourmanuscripts.at
myhorrifiedexpression,headds,“justfirstchapters.”
“sure,”ismilewithrelief,andhegivesmeabroad
smileinreturn.
iswitchonthecomputertostartwork,finishingmy
latteandeatingabanana.there’sane-mailfrom
christian.
from:christiangrey
subject:sohelpme...
date:june10,201108:05
to:anastasiasteele
idohopeyou’vehadbreakfast.
imissedyoulastnight.
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:oldbooks...
date:june10,201108:33
to:christiangrey
iameatingabananaasitype.iha一venothadbreakfastforseveral
days,soitisastepforward.ilovethebritishlibraryapp—i
startedrereadingrobinsoncrusoe...andofcourse,iloveyou.
nowlea一vemealone—iamtryingtowork.
anastasiasteele
assistanttojackhyde,commissioningeditor,sip
from:christiangrey
subject:isthatallyou’veeaten?
date:june10,201108:36
to:anastasiasteele
youcandobetterthanthat.you’regoingtoneedyourenergyfor
begging.
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:pest
date:june10,201108:39
to:christiangrey
mr.grey—iamtryingtoworkforaliving—andit’syouthatwill
bebegging.
anastasiasteele
assistanttojackhyde,commissioningeditor,sip
from:christiangrey
subject:bringiton!
subject:bringiton!
date:june10,201108:36
to:anastasiasteele
whymisssteele,iloveachallenge...
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
isitgrinningatthescreenlikeanidiot.butineedtoread
thesechaptersforjackandwritereportsonallofthem.
placingthemanuscriptsonmydesk,ibegin.
atlunchtimeiheadtothedeliforapastramisandwich
andlistentotheplaylistonmyipad.firstupthere’snitin
sawhney,someworldmusiccalled“homelands”—it’s
good.mr.greyhasaneclectictasteinmusic.iwander
back,listeningtoaclassicalpiece,fantasiaonatheme
ofthomastallisbyvaughnwilliams.oh,fiftyhasa
senseofhumor,andilovehimforit.willthisstupidgrin
everlea一vemyface?
theafternoondrags.idecide,inanunguarded
moment,toe-mailchristian.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:bored...
date:june10,201116:05
to:christiangrey
to:christiangrey
twiddlingmythumbs.
howareyou?
whatareyoudoing?
anastasiasteele
assistanttojackhyde,commissioningeditor,sip
from:christiangrey
subject:yourthumbs
date:june10,201116:15
to:anastasiasteele
youshouldha一vecometoworkforme.
youwouldn’tbetwiddlingyourthumbs.
iamsureicouldputthemtobetteruse.
infacticanthinkofanumberofoptions...
iamdoingtheusualhumdrummergersandacquisitions.
it’sallverydry.
youre-mailsatsiparemonitored.
christiangrey
distractedceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
ohshit.ihadnoidea.howthehelldoesheknow?i
scowlatthescreenandquicklycheckthee-mailswe’ve
scowlatthescreenandquicklycheckthee-mailswe’ve
sent,deletingthemasido.
promptlyatfivethirty,jackisatmydesk.itisdressdown
fridaysohe’swearingjeansandablackshirt.he
looksverycasual.
“drink,ana?weusuallyliketogoforaquickoneat
thebaracrossthestreet.”
“we?”iask,hopeful.
“yeah,mostofusgo...youcoming?”
forsomeunknownreason,whichidon’twantto
examinetooclosely,relieffloodsthroughme.
“i’dloveto.what’sthebarcalled?”
“50s.”
“you’rekidding.”
helooksatmeoddly.“no.somesignificancefor
you?”
“no,sorry.i’lljoinyouoverthere.”
“whatwouldyouliketodrink?”
“abeerplease.”
“cool.”
imakemywaytothepowderroomande-mail
christianfromtheblackberry.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:you’llfitrightin
date:june10,201117:36
to:christiangrey
wearegoingtoabarcalledfifty’s.
therichseamofhumorthaticouldminefromthisisendless.
ilookforwardtoseeingyouthere,mr.grey.
ax
from:christiangrey
subject:hazards
date:june10,201117:38
to:anastasiasteele
miningisavery,verydangerousoccupation.
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:hazards?
date:june10,201117:40
to:christiangrey
andyourpointis?
from:christiangrey
subject:merely...
date:june10,201117:42
to:anastasiasteele
makinganobservation,misssteele.
i’llseeyoushortly.
soonersratherthanlaters,baby.
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
icheckmyselfinthemirror.whatadifferenceadaycan
make.iha一vemorecolorinmycheeks,andmyeyesare
shining.it’sthechristiangreyeffect.alittlee-mail
sparringwithhimwilldothattoagirl.igrinatthemirror
andstraightenmypaleblueshirt—theonetaylorbought
me.iamwearingmyfa一voritejeanstoday,too.mostof
thewomenintheofficeweareitherjeansorfloatyskirts.i
willneedtoinvestinafloatyskirtortwo.perhapsi’lldo
thatthisweekendandbankthecheckchristianga一veme
forwanda,mybeetle.
asiheadoutofthebuilding,ihearmynamecalled.
“misssteele?”
iturnexpectantly,andanashenyoungwoman
approachesmecautiously.shelookslikeaghost—so
paleandstrangelyblank.
“missanastasiasteele?”sherepeats,andherfeatures
“missanastasiasteele?”sherepeats,andherfeatures
staystaticeventhoughshe’sspeaking.
“yes?”
shestops,staringatmefromaboutthreefeetawayon
thesidewalk,andistareback,immobilized.whoisshe?
whatdoesshewant?
“canihelpyou?”iask.howdoessheknowmy
name?
“no...ijustwantedtolookatyou.”hervoiceis
eerilysoft.likeme,shehasdarkhairthatstarklycontrasts
withherfairskin.hereyesarebrown,likebourbon,but
flat.there’snolifeinthematall.herbeautifulfaceispale,
andetchedwithsorrow.
“sorry—youha一vemeatadisadvantage,”isay
politely,tryingtoignorethewarningtingleupmyspine.on
closerinspection,shelooksodd,disheveledanduncared
for.herclothesaretwosizestoobig,includingher
designertrenchcoat.
shelaughs,astrange,discordantsoundthatonlyfeeds
myanxiety.
“whatdoyouha一vethatidon’t?”sheaskssadly.
myanxietyturnstofear.“i’msorry—whoareyou?”
“me?i’mnobody.”sheliftsherarmtodragherhand
throughhershoulderlengthhair,andasshedoes,the
sleeveofhertrenchcoatridesup,revealingasoiled
bandagearoundherwrist.
holyfuck.
“goodday,misssteele.”turning,shewalksupthe
streetasistandrootedtothespot.iwatchasherslight
framedisappearsfromview,lostamongsttheworkers
framedisappearsfromview,lostamongsttheworkers
pouringoutoftheirvariousoffices.
whatwasthatabout?
confused,icrossthestreettothebar,tryingto
assimilatewhathasjusthappened,whilemysubconscious
rearsheruglyheadandhissesatme—shehassomething
todowithchristian.
fifty’sisaca一vernous,impersonalbarwithbaseball
pennantsandpostershangingonthewall.jackisatthe
barwithelizabeth,courtneytheothercommissioning
editor,twoguysfromfinance,andclairefromreception.
sheiswearinghertrademarksilverhoopedearrings.
“hi,ana!”jackhandsmeabottleofbud.
“cheers...thankyou,”imurmur,stillshakenbymy
encounterwithghostgirl.
“cheers.”weclinkbottles,andhecontinueshis
conversationwithelizabeth.clairesmilessweetlyatme.
“so,howhasyourfirstweekbeen?”sheasks.
“good,thankyou.everyoneseemsveryfriendly.”
“youseemmuchhappiertoday.”
iflush.“it’sfriday,”imutterquickly.“so—ha一veyou
anyplansthisweekend?”
mypatenteddistractiontechniqueworksandi’msa一ved.
claireturnsouttobeoneofsevenkids,andshe’sgoingto
abigfamilyget-togetherintacoma.shebecomesquite
animated,andirealizeiha一ven’tspokentoanywomenmy
ownagesincekateleftforbarbados.
absentlyiwonderhowkateis...andelliot.imust
absentlyiwonderhowkateis...andelliot.imust
remembertoaskchristianifhe’sheardfromhim.oh,and
ethanherbrotherwillbebacknexttuesday,andhe’llbe
stayinginourapartment.ican’timaginechristianisgoing
tobehappyaboutthat.myearlierencounterwithstrange
ghostgirlslipsfurtherfrommymind.
duringmyconversationwithclaire,elizabethhands
meanotherbeer.
“thanks,”ismileather.
claireisveryeasytotalkto—shelikestotalk—and
beforeiknowit,iamonmythirdbeer,courtesyofoneof
theguysfromfinance.
whenelizabethandcourtneylea一ve,jackjoinsclaire
andme.whereischristian?oneofthefinanceguys
engagesclaireinconversation.
“ana,thinkyoumadetherightdecisioncominghere?”
jack’svoiceissoft,andhe’sstandingabittooclose.but
i’venoticedthathehasatendencytodothiswith
everyone,evenattheoffice.mysubconsciousnarrows
hereyes.you’rereadingtoomuchintothis,she
admonishesme.
“i’veenjoyedmyselfthisweek,thankyou,jack.yes,
ithinkimadetherightdecision.”
“you’reaverybrightgirl,ana.you’llgofar.”
iblush.“thankyou,”imutter,becauseidon’tknow
whatelsetosay.
“doyoulivefar?”
“thepikemarketdistrict.”
“notfarfromme.”smiling,hemovesevencloserand
leansagainstthebar,effectivelytrappingme.“doyou
ha一veanyplansthisweekend?”
“well...um—”
ifeelhimbeforeiseehim.it’sasifmywholebodyis
highlyattunedtohispresence.itrelaxesandignitesatthe
sametime—aweird,internalduality—andisensethat
strangepulsingelectricity.
christiandrapeshisarmaroundmyshoulderina
seeminglycasualdisplayofaffection—butiknow
differently.heisstakingaclaim,andonthisoccasion,it’s
verywelcome.softlyhekissesmyhair.
“hello,baby,”hemurmurs.
ican’thelpbutfeelrelieved,safe,andexcitedwithhis
armaroundme.hedrawsmetohisside,andiglanceup
athimwhilehestaresatjack,hisexpressionimpassive.
turninghisattentiontome,hegivesmeabriefcrooked
smilefollowedbyaswiftkiss.he’swearinghisna一vy
pinstripedjacketoverjeansandanopenwhiteshirt.he
looksedible.
jackshufflesbackuncomfortably.
“jack,thisischristian,”imumbleapologetically.why
amiapologizing?“christian,jack.”
“i’mtheboyfriend,”christiansayswithasmall,cool
smilethatdoesn’treachhiseyesasheshakesjack’shand.
iglanceupatjackwhoismentallyassessingthefine
specimenofmanhoodinfrontofhim.
“i’mtheboss,”jackrepliesarrogantly.“anadid
mentionanex-boyfriend.”
oh,shit.youdon’twanttoplaythisgamewith
fifty.
“well,nolongerex,”christianrepliescalmly.“come
on,baby,timetogo.”
“please,stayandjoinusforadrink,”jacksays
smoothly.
idon’tthinkthat’sagoodidea.whyisthisso
uncomfortable?iglanceatclaire,whois,ofcourse
staring,open-mouthedandwithfranklycarnalappreciation
atchristian.whenwillistopcaringabouttheeffecthe
hasonotherwomen?
“weha一veplans,”christianreplieswithhisenigmatic
smile.
wedo?andafrissonofanticipationrunsthroughmy
body.
“anothertime,perhaps,”headds.“come,”hesaysto
meashetakesmyhand.
“seeyoumonday.”ismileatjack,claire,andthe
guysfromfinance,tryinghardtoignorejack’sless-thanpleased
expression,andfollowchristianoutofthedoor.
taylorisatthewheeloftheaudiwaitingatthecurb.
“whydidthatfeellikeapissingcontest?”iask
christianasheopensthecardoorforme.
“becauseitwas,”hemurmursandgivesmehis
enigmaticsmilethenshutsmydoor.
“hello,taylor,”isayandoureyesmeetinthereview
mirror.
“misssteele,”tayloracknowledgeswithagenial
smile.
christianslidesinbesideme,claspsmyhand,and
gentlykissesmyknuckles.“hi,”hesayssoftly.
mycheeksturnpink,knowingthattaylorcanhearus,
gratefulthathecan’tseethescorching,panty-combusting
lookthatchristianisgivingme.ittakesallmyself-restraint
nottoleaponhimrighthere,inthebackseatofthecar.
oh,thebackseatofthecar...hmm.myinner
goddessstrokesherchingentlyinquietcontemplation.
“hi,”ibreathe,mymouthdry.
“whatwouldyouliketodothisevening?”
“ithoughtyousaidwehadplans.”
“oh,iknowwhati’dliketodo,anastasia.i’masking
youwhatyouwanttodo.”
ibeamathim.
“isee,”hesayswithawickedlysalaciousgrin.“so...
beggingitis,then.doyouwanttobegatmyplaceor
yours?”hetiltshisheadtoonesideandsmileshisoh-sosexy
smileatme.
“ithinkyou’rebeingverypresumptuous,mr.grey.
butbywayofachange,wecouldgotomyapartment.”i
bitemylipdeliberately,andhisexpressiondarkens.
“taylor,misssteele’s,please.”
“sir,”tayloracknowledgesandheheadsoffintothe
traffic.
“sohowhasyourdaybeen?”heasks.
“good.yours?”
“good,thankyou.”
hisridiculouslybroadgrinreflectsmine,andhekisses
myhandagain.
“youlooklovely,”hesays.
“youlooklovely,”hesays.
“asdoyou.”
“yourboss,jackhyde,ishegoodathisjob?”
whoa!that’sasuddenchangeindirection?ifrown.
“why?thisisn’taboutyourpissingcontest?”
christiansmirks.“thatmanwantsintoyourpanties,
anastasia,”hesaysdryly.
igocrimsonasmymouthdropsopen,andiglance
nervouslyattaylor.mysubconsciousinhalessharply,
shocked.
“well,hecanwantallhelikes...whyareweeven
ha一vingthisconversation?youknowiha一venointerestin
himwhatsoever.he’sjustmyboss.”
“that’sthepoint.hewantswhat’smine.ineedto
knowifhe’sgoodathisjob.”
ishrug.“ithinkso.”whereishegoingwiththis?
“well,he’dbetterlea一veyoualone,orhe’llfindhimself
onhisassonthesidewalk.”
“oh,christian,whatareyoutalkingabout?hehasn’t
doneanythingwrong.”...yet.hejuststandstooclose.
“hemakesonemove,youtellme.it’scalledgross
moralturpitude—orsexualharassment.”
“itwasjustadrinkafterwork.”
“imeanit.onemoveandhe’sout.”
“youdon’tha一vethatkindofpower.”honestly!and
beforeirollmyeyesathim,therealizationhitsmewiththe
forceofaspeedingfreighttruck.“doyou,christian?”
christiangivesmehisenigmaticsmile.
“you’rebuyingthecompany,”iwhisperinhorror.
hissmileslipsinresponsetothepanicinmyvoice.
hissmileslipsinresponsetothepanicinmyvoice.
“notexactly,”hesays.
“you’veboughtit.sip.already.”
heblinksatme,warily.“possibly.”
“youha一veoryouha一ven’t?”
“ha一ve.”
whatthehell?“why?”igasp,appalled.oh,thisjust
istoomuch.
“becauseican,anastasia.ineedyousafe.”
“butyousaidyouwouldn’tinterfereinmycareer!”
“andiwon’t.”
isnatchmyhandoutofhis.“christian...”wordsfail
me.
“areyoumadatme?”
“yes.ofcoursei’mmadatyou.”iseethe.“imean,
whatkindofresponsiblebusinessexecutivemakes
decisionsbasedonwhotheyarecurrentlyfucking?”i
blanchandglancenervouslyoncemoreattaylorwhois
stoicallyignoringus.
shit.whatatimetoha一veabrain-to-mouthfilter
malfunction.anastasia!mysubconsciousglaresatme.
christianopenshismouththenclosesitagainand
scowlsatme.iglareathim.theatmosphereinthecar
plungesfromwarmwithsweetreuniontofrigidwith
unspokenwordsandpotentialrecriminationsasweglower
ateachother.
fortunately,ouruncomfortablecarjourneydoesn’tlast
long,andtaylorpullsupoutsidemyapartment.
iscrambleoutofthecarquickly,notwaitingfor
anyonetoopenthedoor.
anyonetoopenthedoor.
ihearchristianmuttertotaylor,“ithinkyou’dbetter
waithere.”
isensehimstandingclosebehindmeasistruggleto
findthefrontdoorkeysinmypurse.
“anastasia,”hesayscalmlyasifi’msomecornered
wildanimal.
isighandturntofacehim.iamsomadathim,my
angerispalpable—adarkentitythreateningtochokeme.
“first,iha一ven’tfuckedyouforawhile—alongwhile,
itfeels—andsecond,iwantedtogetintopublishing.of
thefourcompaniesinseattle,sipisthemostprofitable,
butit’sonthecuspandit’sgoingtostagnate—itneedsto
branchout.”
istarefrigidlyathim.hiseyesaresointense,
threateningeven,butsexyashell.icouldgetlostintheir
steelydepths.
“soyou’remybossnow,”isnap.
“technically,i’myourboss’sboss’sboss.”
“and,technically,it’sgrossmoralturpitude—thefact
thatiamfuckingmyboss’sboss’sboss.”
“atthemoment,you’rearguingwithhim.”christian
scowls.
“that’sbecausehe’ssuchanarse,”ihiss.
christianstepsbackinstunnedsurprise.ohshit.ha一ve
igonetoofar?
“anarse?”hemurmursashisexpressionchangesto
oneofamusement.
goddamnit!iammadatyou,donotmakeme