“don’tbiteyourlip,”heorders.“nothere,notnow.”hiseyeshardenmomentarily,andforamoment,helookssodeliciouslydangerous.“ifican’tha一veyouhere,don’ttemptme.”
“hi,myname’sleandra,whatcanigetforyou…er…folks…er…today,thismornin…?”hervoicetrailsoff,stumblingoverherwordsasshegetsaneyefullofmr.beautifuloppositeme.sheflushesscarlet,andasmallounceofsympathyforherbubbles
unwelcomeintomyconsciousnessbecausehestilldoesthattome.herpresenceallowsmetoescapebrieflyfromhissensualglare.
“anastasia?”hepromptsme,ignoringher,andidon’tthinkanyonecouldsqueezeasmuchcarnalityintomynameashedoesatthatmoment.
iswallow,prayingthatidon’tgothesamecoloraspoorleandra.
“itoldyou,iwantwhatyouwant.”ikeepmyvoicesoft,low,andhelooksatmehungrily.jeez,myinnergoddessswoons.amiuptothisgame?
leandralooksfrommetohimandbackagain.she’spracticallythesamecolorashershinyredhair.
“shalligiveyoufolksanotherminutetodecide?”
“no.weknowwhatwewant.”christian’smouthtwitcheswithasmall,sexysmile.
“we’llha一vetwoportionsoftheoriginalbuttermilkpancakeswithmaplesyrupandbaconontheside,twoglassesoforangejuice,oneblackcoffeewithskimmilk,andoneenglishbreakfasttea,ifyouha一veit,”sayschristian,nottakinghiseyesoffme.
“thankyousir.willthatbeall?”leandrawhispers,lookinganywherebutatthetwoofus.webothturntostareather,andsheflushescrimsonagainandscuttlesaway.
“youknowit’sreallynotfair.”iglancedownattheformicatabletop,tracingapatterninitwithmyindexfinger,tryingtosoundnonchalant.
“what’snotfair?”
“howyoudisarmpeople.women.me.”
“doidisarmyou?”
isnort.
“allthetime.”
“it’sjustlooks,anastasia,”hesaysmildly.
“no,christian,it’smuchmorethanthat.”
hisbrowcreases.
“youdisarmmetotally,misssteele.yourinnocence.itcutsthroughallthecrap.”
“isthatwhyyou’vechangedyourmind?”
“changedmymind?”
“yes–about…err…us?”
hestrokeshischinthoughtfullywithhislong,skilledfingers.
“idon’tthinki’vechangedmymindperse.wejustneedtore-defineourparameters,re-drawourbattlelines,ifyouwill.wecanmakethiswork,i’msure.iwantyousubmissiveinmyplayroom.iwillpunishyouifyoudigressfromtherules.otherthanthat…well,ithinkit’sallupfordiscussion.thosearemyrequirements,misssteele.whatsayyoutothat?”
“soigettosleepwithyou?inyourbed?”
“isthatwhatyouwant?”
“yes.”
“iagreethen.besides,isleepverywellwhenyou’reinmybed.ihadnoidea.”hisbrowcreasesashisvoicefades.
“iwasfrightenedyou’dlea一vemeifididn’tagreetoallofit,”iwhisper.
“i’mnotgoinganywhere,anastasia.besides…”hetrailsoff,andaftersomethought,headds.“we’refollowingyouradvice,yourdefinition:compromise.youemailedittome.andsofar,it’sworkingforme.”
“ilovethatyouwantmore,”imurmurshyly.
“iknow.”
“howdoyouknow?”
“trustme.ijustdo.”hesmirksatme.he’shidingsomething.what?
atthatmoment,leandraarriveswithbreakfastandourconversationceases.mystomachrumbles,remindingmehowra一venousiam.christianwatcheswithannoyingapprovalasidevoureverythingonmyplate.
“canitreatyou?”iaskchristian.
“treatmehow?”
“payforthismeal.”
christiansnorts.
“idon’tthinkso.”hescoffs.
“please.iwantto.”
hefrownsatme.
“areyoutryingtocompletelyemasculateme?”
“thisisprobablytheonlyplacethati’llbeabletoaffordtopay.”
“anastasia,iappreciatethethought.ido.butno.”
ipursemylips.
“don’tscowl,”hethreatens,hiseyesglintingominously.
ofcoursehedoesn’taskmeformymother’saddress.heknowsitalready,stalkerthatheis.whenhepullsupoutsidethehouse,idon’tcomment.what’sthepoint?
“doyouwanttocomein?”iaskshyly.
“ineedtowork,anastasia,buti’llbebackthisevening.whattime?”
iignoretheunwelcomestabofdisappointment.whydoiwanttospendeverysingleminutewiththiscontrollingsexgod?ohyes,i’vefalleninlovewithhim,andhecanfly.
“thankyou…forthemore.”
“mypleasure,anastasia.”hekissesme,andiinhalehissexychristiansmell.
“i’llseeyoulater.”
“tryandstopme,”hewhispers.
iwa一vegoodbyeashedrivesoffintothegeorgiasunshine.i’mstillwearinghissweatshirtandhisunderwear,andi’mtoowarm.
inthekitchen,mymomisinacompleteflap.it’snoteverydayshehastoentertainamulti-zillionaire,andit’sstressingherout.
“howareyou,darling?”sheasks,andiflushbecauseshemustknowwhatiwasdoinglastnight.
“i’mgood.christiantookmeglidingthismorning.”ihopethenewinformationwilldistracther.
“gliding?asinasmallplanewithnoengine?thatsortofgliding?”
inod.
“wow.”
she’sspeechless–anovelconceptformymother.shegapesatme,buteventuallyrecoversherselfandresumesheroriginallineofquestioning.
“howwaslastnight?didyoutalk?”
jeez.iflushbrightscarlet.
“wetalked–lastnightandtoday.it’sgettingbetter.”
“good.”sheturnsherattentionbacktothefourcookerybooksshehasopenonthekitchentable.
“mom…ifyoulike,i’llcookthisevening.”
“oh,honey,that’skindofyou,butiwanttodoit.”
“okay.”igrimace,knowingfullwellthatmymother’scookingisprettyhitormiss.perhapsshe’simprovedsinceshemovedtosa一vannahwithbob.therewasatimeiwouldn’tsubjectanyonetohercooking…even–whodoihate?ohyes–mrs.robinson–elena.well,maybeher.willievermeetthisdamnedwoman?
idecidetosendaquickthank-youtochristian.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:soaringasopposedtosore-ing
date:june2201110:20est
to:christiangrey
sometimes,youreallyknowhowtoshowagirlagoodtime.
thankyou
anax
from:christiangrey
subject:soaringvssore-ing
date:june2201110:24est
to:anastasiasteele
i’lltakeeitherofthoseoveryoursnoring.ihadagoodtimetoo.
butialwaysdowheni’mwithyou.
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:snoring
date:june2201110:26est
to:christiangrey
idonotsnore.andifido,it’sveryungallantofyoutopointitout.
youarenogentlemanmr.grey!andyouareinthedeepsouthtoo!
ana
from:christiangrey
subject:somniloquy
date:june2201110:28est
to:anastasiasteele
iha一veneverclaimedtobeagentleman,anastasia,andithinkiha一vedemonstratedthatpointtoyouonnumerousoccasions.iamnotintimidatedbyyourshoutycapitals.butiwillconfesstoasmallwhitelie:no–youdon’tsnore,butyoudotalk.andit’s
fascinating.
whathappenedtomykiss?
christiangrey
cad&ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
holyshit.iknowitalkinmysleep.katehastoldmeenoughtimes.whatthehellha一veisaid?ohno.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:spillthebeans
date:june2201110:32est
to:christiangrey
youareacadandascoundrel–definitelynogentleman.
so,whatdidisay?nokissesforyouuntilyoutalk!
from:christiangrey
subject:sleepingtalkingbeauty
date:june2201110:35est
to:anastasiasteele
itwouldbemostungallantofmetosay,andiha一vealreadybeenchastisedforthat.
butifyoubeha一veyourself,imaytellyouthisevening.idoha一vetogointoameetingnow.
laters,baby.
christiangrey
ceo,cad&scoundrel,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
right!ishallmaintainradiosilenceuntilthisevening.ifume.jeez.supposingi’vesaidihatehim,orworsestill,thatilovehim,inmysleep.oh,ihopenot.iamnotreadyto
tellhimthat,andi’msurehe’snotreadytohearit,ifheeverwantstohearit.iscowlatmycomputeranddecidethatwhatevericook,iwillmakebread.
mymomhasdecidedongazpachosoupandabarbecuewithsteaksmarinatedinoliveoil,garlic,andlemon.christianlikesmeat,andit’ssimpletodo.bobhasvolunteeredtomanthebbqgrill.whatisitaboutmenandfire,iponderasitrailaftermymotherthroughthesupermarketwiththeshoppingcart?
aswebrowsetherawmeatcabinet,myphonerings.iscrambleforit,thinkingitmaybechristian.idon’trecognizethenumber.
“hello?”ianswerbreathlessly.
“anastasiasteele?”
“yes.”
“it’selizabethmorganfromsip.”
“oh–hi.”
“i’mcallingtoofferyouthejobofassistanttomr.jackhyde.we’dlikeyoutostartonmonday.”
“wow.that’sgreat.thankyou!”
“youknowthesalarydetails?”
“yes.yes…that’s–imean,iacceptyouroffer.i’dlovetocomeandworkforyou.”
“excellent.we’llseeyoumondayat8:30?”
“seeyouthen.goodbye.andthankyou.”
ibeamatmymom.
“youha一veajob?”
inodgleefully,andshesquealsandhugsmeinthemiddleofpublixsupermarket.
“congratulations,darling!weha一vetobuysomechampagne!”she’sclappingherhandsandjumpingupanddown.issheforty-twoortwelve?
iglancedownatmyphoneandfrown,there’samissedcallfromchristian.heneverphonesme.icallhimstraightback.
“anastasia,”heanswersimmediately.
“hi,”imurmurshyly.
“iha一vetoreturntoseattle.something’scomeup.iamonmywaytohiltonheadnow.pleaseapologizetoyourmother–ican’tmakedinner.”hesoundsverybusinesslike.
“nothingserious,ihope?”
“iha一veasituationwhichiha一vetodealwith.i’llseeyoufriday.i’llsendtaylortocollectyoufromtheairportifican’tcomemyself.”hesoundscold.angryeven.butforthefirsttime,idon’timmediatelythinkit’sme.
“okay.ihopeyousortoutyoursituation.ha一veasafeflight.”
“youtoo,baby,”hebreathes,andwiththosewords,mychristianisbackbriefly.thenhehangsup.
ohno.thelast‘situation’hehadwasmyvirginity.jeez,ihopeit’snothinglikethat.igazeatmymom.herearlierjubilationhasmetamorphosedintoconcern.
“it’schristian,he’shadtogobacktoseattle.heapologizes.”
“oh!that’sashame,darling.wecanstillha一veourbarbecue,andnowweha一vesomethingtocelebrate–yournewjob!youha一vetotellmeallaboutit.”
it’slateafternoon,andmomandiarelyingbesidethepool.mymotherhasrelaxedtothepointwheresheisliterallyhorizontalnowthatmr.megabucksisnotcomingtodinner.asilieinthesun,endea一voringtolosethepale,ithinkaboutyesterdayeveningandbreakfasttoday.ithinkaboutchristian,andmyridiculousgrinrefusestosubside.itkeepscreepingacrossmyface,unbiddenanddisconcerting,asirecallourvariousconversationsandwhatwedid…whathedid.
thereseemstobetidalshiftinchristian’sattitude.hedeniesitbut–headmitshe’stryingformore.whatcouldha一vechanged?whathasalteredsincehesenthislongemailandwhenisawhimyesterday?whathashedone?isitupsuddenly,almostspillingmydr.pepper.hehaddinnerwith…her.elena.
holyfuck!
myscalppricklesattherealization.didshesaysomethingtohim?oh…toha一vebeenaflyonthewallduringtheirdinner.icouldha一velandedinhersouporonherwineglassandchokedher.
“whatisit,ana,honey?”momasks,startledfromhertorpor.
“i’mjustha一vingamoment,mom.whattimeisit?”
“about6:30,darling.”
hmm…hewon’tha一velandedyet.caniaskhim?shouldiaskhim?orperhapsshehasnothingtodowithit.iferventlyhopeso.whatdidisayinmysleep?crap…someunguardedremarkwhiledreamingabouthim,ibet?whateveritis,orwas,ihopetheseaofchangeiscomingfromwithinhimandnotbecauseofher.
iamswelteringinthisdamnedheat.ineedanotherdipinthepool.
asigetreadyforbed,iswitchonmycomputer.iha一veheardnothingfromchristian.notevenawordthathe’sarrivedsafely.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:safearrival?
date:june2201122:32est
to:christiangrey
dearsir
pleaseletmeknowthatyouha一vearrivedsafely.iamstartingtoworry.thinkingofyou.
yourana.x
threeminuteslater,ihearthepingfrommyemailin-box.
from:christiangrey
subject:sorry
date:june2201119:36
to:anastasiasteele
dearmisssteele
iha一vearrivedsafely,andpleaseacceptmyapologiesfornotlettingyouknow.idon’twanttocauseyouanyworry,it’sheartwarmingtoknowthatyoucareforme.iamthinkingofyoutooandaseverlookingforwardtoseeingyoutomorrow.
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
isigh,christianisbacktoformality.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:thesituation
date:june2201122:40est
to:christiangrey
dearmr.grey
ithinkitisveryevidentthaticareforyoudeeply.howcouldyoudoub一tthat?
ihopeyour‘situation’isinhand.
youranaxps:areyougoingtotellmewhatisaidinmysleep?
from:christiangrey
subject:pleadingthefifth
date:june2201119:45
to:anastasiasteele
dearmisssteele
ilikeverymuchthatyoucareforme.the‘situation’hereisnotyetresolved.
withregardtoyourps:theansweris-no.
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:pleadinginsanity
date:june2201122:48est
to:christiangrey
ihopeitwasamusing.butyoushouldknowicannotacceptanyresponsibilityforwhatcomesoutofmymouthwheniamunconscious.infact–youprobablymisheardme.
amanofyouradvancedyearsissurelyalittledeaf.
from:christiangrey
subject:pleadingguilty
date:june2201119:52
to:anastasiasteele
dearmisssteele
sorry,couldyouspeakup?ican’thearyou.
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:pleadinginsanityagain
date:june2201122:54est
to:christiangrey
youaredrivingmecrazy.
from:christiangrey
subject:ihopeso…
date:june2201119:59
to:anastasiasteele
dearmisssteele
iintendtodoexactlythatonfridayevening.lookingforwardtoit
;)
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:grrrrrr
date:june2201123:02est
to:christiangrey
iamofficiallypissedatyou.
goodnight.
missa.r.steele
from:christiangrey
subject:wildcat
date:june2201120:05
to:anastasiasteele
areyougrowlingatmemisssteele?
ipossessacatofmyownforgrowlers.
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
catofhisown?i’veneverseenacatinhisapartment.no,iamnotgoingtoanswerhim.oh,hecanbesoexasperatingsometimes.fiftyshadesofexasperating.iclamberintobedandlieglaringattheceilingasmyeyesadjusttothedark.ihearanotherpingfrommycomputer.iamnotgoingtolook.nodefinitelynot.no,iamnotgoingtolook.gah!likethefooliam,icannotresistthelureofchristiangrey’swords.
from:christiangrey
subject:whatyousaidinyoursleep
date:june2201120:20
to:anastasiasteele
anastasia
i’dratherhearyousaythewordsthatyouutteredinyoursleepwhenyou’reconscious,that’swhyiwon’ttellyou.gotosleep.you’llneedtoberestedwithwhatiha一veinmindforyoutomorrow.
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
ohno…whatha一veisaid?it’sasbadasithink,i’msure.
mymotherhugsmetightly.
“followyourheart,darling,andplease,please–trynottoover-thinkthings.relaxandenjoyyourself.youaresoyoung,sweetheart.youha一vesomuchoflifetoexperienceyet,justletithappen.youdeservethebestofeverything.”herheartfeltwordsarecomfortingwhisperedinmyear.shekissesmyhair.
“oh,mom.”hot,unwelcometearsprickmyeyesasiclingtoher.
“darling,youknowwhattheysay.youha一vetokissalotoffrogsbeforeyoufindyourprince.”