notfinishedwithmeyet.holymoses.there’snowayicandoanymore.iamutterlyspentandfightinganoverwhelmingdesiretosleep.i’mleaningagainsthischest,myeyesareclosed,andhe’swrappedaroundme–armsandlegs–andifeel…safe,andohsocomfortable.willheletmesleep,perchancetodream?mymouthquirksupatthesillythought,andturningmyfaceintochristian’schest,iinhalehisuniquescentandnuzzlehim,butimmediatelyhetenses…ohcrap.iopenmyeyesandglanceupathim.he’sstaringdownatme.

“don’t,”hebreathesinwarning.

iflushandlookbackathischestinlonging.iwanttorunmytonguethroughthehair,kisshim,andforthefirsttime,inoticehehasafewrandomandfaintsmall,roundscarsdottedaroundhischest.chickenpox?measles?ithinkabsently.

“kneelbythedoor,”heordersashesitsback,puttinghishandsonhisknees,effectivelyreleasingme.nolongerwarm,thetemperatureofhisvoicehasdroppedseveraldegrees.

istumbleclumsilyupintoastandingpositionandscootovertothedoorandkneelasinstructed.i’mshakyandvery,verytired,monumentallyconfused.whowouldha一vethoughticouldha一vefoundsuchgratificationinthisroom.whocouldha一vethoughtitwouldbesoexhausting?mylimbsaredeliciouslyhea一vy,sated.myinnergoddesshasa‘donotdisturb’signontheoutsideofherroom.

christianismovingaboutintheperipheryofmyvision.myeyesstarttodroop.

“boringyou,ami,misssteele?”

ijumpawake,andchristianisstandinginfrontofme,hisarmscrossedglaringdownatme.ohshit,caughtnapping–thisisnotgoingtobegood.hiseyessoftenasigazeupathim.

“standup,”heorders.

iclimbwarilytomyfeet.hestaresatme,andhismouthsquirksup.

“you’reshattered,aren’tyou?”

inodshyly,flushing.

“stamina,misssteele.”henarrowshiseyesatme.“iha一ven’thadmyfillofyouyet.holdoutyourhandsinfrontasifyou’repraying.”

iblinkathim.praying!prayingforyoutogoeasyonme.idoasi’mtold.hetakesacabletieandfastensitaroundmywrists,tighteningtheplastic.holyhell.myeyesflytohis.

“lookfamiliar,”heasks,unabletoconcealhissmile.

jeez…theplasticcableties.restockingatclayton’s!itallbecomesclear.igapeupathimasadrenalinespikesthoughmybodyanew.okay–that’sgotmyattention–i’mawakenow.

“iha一vescissorshere.”heholdsthemupformetosee.“icancutyououtofthisinamoment.”

itrytopullmywristsapart,testingmybonds,andasido,theplasticbitesintomyflesh–it’ssore,butifirelaxmywriststhey’refine–thetieisnotcuttingintomyskin.

“come.”hetakesmyhandsandleadsmeovertothefour-posterbed.inoticenowthatithasdarkredsheetsonitandashackleateachcorner.

“iwantmore–much,muchmore,”heleansdownandwhispersinmyear.

andmyheartbeatstartspoundingagain.ohboy.

“buti’llmakethisquick.you’retired.holdontothepost,”hesays.

ifrown.notonthebedthen?ifindicanpartmyhandsasigrasptheornatelycarvedwoodenpost.

“lower,”heorders.“good.don’tletgo.ifyoudo,i’llspankyou.understand?”

“yes,sir.”

“good.”

hestandsbehindmeandgraspsmyhips,andthenquicklyliftsmebackwardsoi’mbendingforward,holdingthepost.

“don’tletgo,anastasia,”hewarns.“i’mgoingtofuckyouhardfrombehind.holdtheposttosupportyourweight.understand?”

“yes.”

hesmacksmeacrossmybehindwithhishand.ow…itstings.

“yes,sir,”imutterquickly.

“partyourlegs.”heputshislegbetweenmine,andholdingmyhips,hepushesmyrightlegtotheside.

“that’sbetter.afterthis,i’llletyousleep.”

sleep?i’mpanting.i’mnotthinkingofsleepnow.hereachesupandgentlystrokesmyback.

“youha一vesuchbeautifulskin,anastasia,”hebreathesashebendsdownandkissesmealongmyspine,gentlefeather-lightkisses.atthesametime,hishandsmoveroundtomyfrontpalmingmybreasts,andashedoesthis,hetrapsmynipplesbetweenhisfingersandtugsthemgently.

istiflemymoanasifeelmywholebodyrespond,comingaliveoncemoreforhim.

hegentlybitesandsucksmeatmywaist,tuggingmynipples,andmyhandstightenontheexquisitelycarvedpost.hishandsdropaway,andihearthenowfamiliartearoffoil,andhekicksoffhisjeans.

“youha一vesuchacaptivating,sexyass,anastasiasteele.whati’dliketodotoit.”hishandssmoothandshapeeachofmybuttocks,thenhisfingersglidedown,andheslipstwofingersinsideme.

“sowet.youneverdisappoint,misssteele,”hewhispers,andihearthewonderinhisvoice.“holdtight…thisisgoingtobequick,baby.”

hegrabsmyhipsandpositionshimself,andibracemyselfforhisassault.buthereachesovermeandgrabsmybraidneartheendandwindsitroundhiswristtomynape

holdingmyheadinplace.veryslowlyheeasesintome,pullingmyhairatthesametime…ohthefullness.heeasesoutofmeslowly,andhisotherhandgrabsmyhip,holdingtight,andthenheslamsintome,joltingmeforward.

“holdon,anastasia!”heshoutsthroughclenchedteeth.

igripharderroundthepostandpushbackagainsthimashecontinueshismercilessonslaught,againandagain,hisfingersdiggingintomyhip.myarmsareaching,mylegsfeeluncertain,myscalpisgettingsorefromhistuggingmyhair…andicanfeelagatheringdeepinsideme.ohno…andforthefirsttime,ifearmyorgasm…ificome…i’llcollapse.christiancontinuestomoveroughlyagainstme,inme,hisbreathingharsh,moaning,groaning.mybodyisresponding…how?ifeelaquickening.butsuddenly,christianstills,slammingreallydeep.

“comeon,ana,giveittome,”hegroans,andmynameonhislipssendsmeovertheedgeasibecomeallbodyandspiralingsensationandsweet,sweetrelease,andthencompletelyandutterlymindless.

whensensereturns,i’mlyingonhim.he’sonthefloor,andi’mlyingontopofhim,mybacktohisfront,andi’mstaringattheceiling,allpost-coital,glowing,shattered.oh…thekarabiners,ithinkabsently–i’dforgottenaboutthose.christiannuzzlesmyear.

“holdupyourhands,”hesayssoftly.

myarmsfeellikethey’remadeoflead,butiholdthemup.hewieldsthescissorsandpassesonebladeundertheplastic.

“ideclarethisanaopen,”hebreathes,andcutstheplastic.

igiggleandrubmywristsasthey’refreed.ifeelhisgrin.

“thatissuchalovelysound,”hesayswistfully.hesitssuddenly,takingmewithhimsothati’moncemoresittinginhislap.

“that’smyfault,”hesaysandshiftsmesothathecanrubmyshouldersandarms.gentlyhemassagessomelifebackintomylimbs

what?

iglanceupathimbehindme,tryingtounderstandwhathemeans.

“thatyoudon’tgigglemoreoften.”

“i’mnotagreatgiggler,”imumblesleepily.

“oh,butwhenithappens,misssteele,‘tisawonderandjoytobehold.”

“veryflowery,mr.grey,”imutter,tryingtokeepmyeyesopen.

hiseyessoften,andhesmiles.

“i’dsayyou’rethoroughlyfuckedandinneedofsleep.”

“thatwasn’tfloweryatall,”igrumbleplayfully.

hegrinsandgentlyliftsmeoffhimandstands,gloriouslynaked.iwishmomentarilythatiweremoreawaketoreallyappreciatehim.pickinguphisjeans,heslidesthembackon,commando.

“don’twanttofrightentaylor,ormrs.jonesforthatmatter,”hemutters.

hmm…theymustknowwhatakinkybastardheis.thethoughtpreoccupiesme.

hestoopstohelpmetomyfeetandleadsmetothedoor,onthebackofwhichhangsagreywafflerobe.hepatientlydressesmeasifi’masmallchild.idon’tha一vethestrengthtoliftmyarms.wheni’mcoveredandrespectable,heleansdownandkissesmegently,hismouthquirksupinasmile.

“bed,”hesays.

oh…no…

“forsleep,”headdsreassuringlywhenheseesmyexpression.

suddenly,hescoopsmeupandcarriesmecurledagainsthischesttotheroomalongthecorridorwhereearliertodaydr.greeneexaminedme.myheaddropsagainsthischest.iamexhausted.idon’tremembereverbeingthistired.pullingbacktheduvet,helaysmedown,andevenmoresurprisingly,climbsinbesidemeandholdsmeclose.

“sleepnow,gorgeousgirl,”hewhispers,andhekissesmyhair.

andbeforeicanmakeafacetiouscomment,i’masleep.

softlipsbrushacrossmytemple,lea一vingsweettenderkissesintheirwake,andpartofmewantstoturnandrespond,butmostlyiwanttostayasleep.imoanandburrowintomypillow.

“anastasia,wakeup.”christian’svoiceissoft,cajoling.

“no,”imoan.

“weha一vetolea一veinhalfanhourfordinneratmyparents.”he’samused.

iopenmyeyesreluctantly.it’sduskoutside.christianisleaningover,gazingatmeintently.

“comeonsleepy-head.getup.”hestoopsdownandkissesmeagain.

“i’veboughtyouadrink.i’llbedownstairs.don’tgobacktosleep,oryou’llbeintrouble,”hethreatens,buthistoneismild.hekissesmebrieflyandexits,lea一vingmeblinkingsleepfrommyeyesinthecool,starkroom.

i’mrefreshedbutsuddenlynervous.holycow,iammeetinghisfolks!he’sjustworkedmeoverwitharidingcropandtiedmeupusingacabletiewhichisoldhim,forhea一ven’ssake–andi’mgoingtomeethisparents.itwillbekate’sfirsttimemeetingthemtoo–atleastshe’llbethereforsupport.irollmyshoulders.they’restiff.hisdemandsforapersonaltrainerdon’tseemsooutlandishnow,infact,they’remandatoryifiamtoha一veanyhopeofkeepingupwithhim.

iclimbslowlyoutofbedandnotethatmydressishangingoutsidethewardrobeandmybraisonthechair.wherearemypanties?icheckbeneaththechair.nothing.theniremember–hesquirreledthemawayinthepocketofhisjeans.iflushatthememory,afterhe,ican’tevenbringmyselftothinkaboutit,hewasso–barbarous.ifrown.whyhasn’thegivenmebackmypanties?

istealintothebathroom,bewilderedbymylackofunderwear.whiledryingmyselfaftermyenjoyablebutfartoobriefshower,irealizehe’sdonethisonpurpose.hewantsmetobeembarrassedandaskformypantiesback,andhe’lleithersayyesorno.myinnergoddessgrinsatme.hell…twocanplaythatparticulargame.resolvingthereandthennottoaskhimforthemandnotgivehimthatsatisfaction,ishallgomeethisparentssansculottes.anastasiasteele!mysubconsciouschidesme,butidon’twanttolistentoher–ialmosthugmyselfwithgleebecauseiknowthiswilldrivehimcrazy.

backinthebedroom,iputonmybra,slipintomydress,andclimbintomyshoes.iremovethebraidandhastilybrushoutmyhair,ithenglancedownatthedrinkhe’sleft.it’spalepink.what’sthis?cranberryandsparklingwater.hmm…ittastesdeliciousandquenchesmythirst.

dashingbackintothebathroom,icheckmyselfinthemirror:eyesbright,cheeksslightlyflushed,slightlysmuglookbecauseofmypantyplan,andiheaddownstairs.fifteenminutes.notbad,ana.

christianisstandingbythepanoramicwindow,wearingthegreyflannelpantsthatilove,theonesthathanginthatunbelievablysexywayoffhiships,andofcourse,awhitelinenshirt.doesn’theha一veanyothercolors?franksinatrasingssoftlyoverthesurroundsoundspeakers.

christianturnsandsmilesasienter.helooksatmeexpectantly.

“hi,”isaysoftly,andmysphinx-likesmilemeetshis.

“hi,”hesays.“howareyoufeeling?”hiseyesarealightwithamusement.

“good,thanks.you?”

“ifeelmightyfine,misssteele.”

heissowaitingformetosaysomething.

“frank.ineverfiguredyouforasinatrafan.”

heraiseshiseyebrowsatme,hislookspeculative.

“eclectictaste,misssteele,”hemurmurs,andhepacestowardmelikeapantheruntilhe’sstandinginfrontofme,hisgazesointenseittakesmybreathaway.

frankstartscrooning…anoldsong,oneofray’sfa一vorites.‘witchcraft.’christianleisurelytraceshisfingertipsdownmycheek,andifeelitallthewaydownthere.

“dancewithme,”hemurmurs,hisvoicehusky.

takingtheremoteoutofhispocket,heturnsupthevolumeandholdshishandouttome,hisgraygazefullofpromiseandlongingandhumor.heistotallybeguiling,andi’mbewitched.iplacemyhandinhis.hegrinslazilydownatmeandpullsmeintohisembrace,hisarmcurlingaroundmywaist,andhestartstosway.

iputmyfreehandonhisshoulderandgrinupathim,caughtinhisinfectious,playfulmood.andhestartstomove.boycanhedance.wecoverthefloor,fromthewindowtothekitchenandbackagain,whirlingandturningintimetothemusic.andhemakesitsoeffortlessformetofollow.

weglidearoundthediningtable,overtothepiano,andbackwardsandforwardsinfrontoftheglasswall,seattletwinklingoutside,adarkandmagicalmuraltoourdance,andican’thelpmycarefreelaugh.hegrinsdownatmeasthesongcomestoaclose.

“there’snonicerwitchthanyou,”hemurmurs,thenkissesmesweetly.“well,that’sboughtsomecolortoyourcheeks,misssteele.thankyouforthedance.shallwegoandmeetmyparents?”

“you’rewelcome,andyes,ican’twaittomeetthem,”ianswerbreathlessly.

“doyouha一veeverythingyouneed?”

“oh,yes,”irespondsweetly.

“areyousure?”

inodasnonchalantlyasicanmanageunderhisintense,amusedscrutiny.hisfacesplitsintoahugegrin,andheshakeshishead.

“okay.ifthat’sthewayyouwanttoplayit,misssteele.”

hegrabsmyhand,collectshisjacketwhichishangingononeofthebarstools,andleadsmethroughthefoyertotheelevator.oh,themanyfacesofchristiangrey.willieverbeabletounderstandthismercurialman?

ipeekupathimintheelevator.he’senjoyingaprivatejoke,atraceofasmileflirtingwithhisbeautifulmouth.ifearthatitmaybeatmyexpense.whatwasithinking?i’mgoingtoseehisparents,andi’mnotwearinganyunderwear.mysubconsciousgivesmeanunhelpfulitoldyousoexpression.intherelativesafetyofhisapartment,itseemedlikeafun,teasingidea.now,i’malmostoutsidewithnopanties!hepeersdownatme,andit’sthere,thechargebuildingbetweenus.theamusedlookdisappearsfromhisfaceandhisexpressionclouds,hiseyesdark…ohmy.

theelevatordoorsopenonthegroundfloor.christianshakeshisheadslightlyasiftoclearhisthoughtsandgesturesformetoexitbeforehiminamostgentlemanlymanner.who’shekidding?he’snogentleman.hehasmypanties.

taylordrawsupinthelargeaudi.christianopensthereardoorforme,andiclimbinsideaselegantlyasican,consideringmystateofwantonundress.i’mgratefulthatkate’splumdressissoclingyandhangstothetopofmyknees.

wespeedupthei-5,bothofusquiet,nodoub一tinhibitedbytaylor’ssteadypresenceinthefront.christian’smoodisalmosttangibleandseemstoshift,thehumordissipatingslowlyasweheadnorth.he’sbrooding,staringoutofthewindow,andicanfeelhimslippingawayfromme.whatishethinking?ican’taskhim.whatcanisayinfrontoftaylor?

“wheredidyoulearntodance?”iasktentatively.heturnstogazeatme,hiseyesunreadablebeneaththeintermittentlightofthepassingstreetlamps.

“doyoureallywanttoknow?”herepliessoftly.

myheartsinks,andnowidon’tbecauseicanguess.

“yes,”imurmur,reluctantly.

“mrs.robinsonwasfondofdancing.”

oh,myworstsuspicionsconfirmed.shehastaughthimwell,andthethoughtdepressesme–there’snothingicanteachhim.iha一venospecialskills.

“shemustha一vebeenagoodteacher.”

“shewas,”hesayssoftly.

myscalpprickles.didsheha一vethebestofhim?beforehebecamesoclosed?ordidshebringhimoutofhimself?hehassuchafun,playfulside.ismileinvoluntarilyasirecallbeinginhisarmsashespunmearoundhislivingroom,sounexpected,andhehasmypanties,somewhere.

andthenthere’stheredroomofpain.irubmywristsreflexively–thinstripsofplasticwilldothattoagirl.shetaughthimallthattooorruinedhim,dependingonone’spointofview.orperhapshewouldha一vefoundhiswaythereanywayinspiteofmrs.r.irealize,inthatmoment,thatihateher.ihopethatinevermeetherbecauseiwillnotberesponsibleformyactionsifido.ican’tremembereverfeelingthispassionatelyaboutanyone,especiallysomeonei’venevermet.gazingunseeingoutofthewindow,inursemyirrationalangerandjealousy.

myminddriftsbacktotheafternoon.givenwhatiunderstandofhispreferences,ithinkhe’sbeeneasyonme.wouldidoitagain?ican’tevenpretendtoputupanargumentagainstthat.ofcourseiwould,ifheaskedme–aslongashedidn’thurtmeandifit’stheonlywaytobewithhim.

that’sthebottomline.iwanttobewithhim.myinnergoddesssighswithrelief.ireachtheconclusionthatsherarelyusesherbraintothinkbutanothervitalpartofheranatomy,andatthemoment,it’saratherexposedpart.

“don’t,”hemurmurs.

ifrownandturntolookathim.

“don’twhat?”iha一ven’ttouchedhim.

“over-thinkthings,anastasia.”reachingout,hegraspsmyhand,drawsituptohislips,andkissesmyknucklesgently.“ihadawonderfulafternoon.thankyou.”

andhe’sbackwithmeagain.iblinkupathimandsmileshyly.he’ssoconfusing.iaskaquestionthat’sbeenbuggingme.

“whydidyouuseacabletie?”

hegrinsatme.

“it’squick,it’seasy,andit’ssomethingdifferentforyoutofeelandexperience.iknowthey’requitebrutal,andidolikethatinarestrainingdevice.”hesmilesatmemildly.“veryeffectiveatkeepingyouinyourplace.”

iflushandglancenervouslyattaylor,whoremainsimpassive,eyesonroad.whatamisupposedtosaytothat?christianshrugsinnocently.

“allpartofmyworld,anastasia.”hesqueezesmyhandandletsgo,staringoutofthewindowagain.

hisworldindeed,andiwanttobelonginit,butonhisterms?ijustdon’tknow.hehasn’tmentionedthatdamnedcontract.myinnermusingsdonothingtocheerme.istareoutofthewindowandthelandscapehaschanged.we’recrossingoneofthebridges,surroundedbyinkydarkness.thesombernightreflectsmyintrospectivemood,closingin,suffocating.

iglancebrieflyatchristian,andhe’sstaringatme.

“pennyforyourthoughts?”heasks.

isighandfrown.

“thatbad,huh?”

“iwishiknewwhatyouwerethinking.”

hesmirksatme.

“ditto,baby,”hesayssoftlyastaylorspeedsintothenighttowardbellevue.

itisjustbeforeeightwhentheaudidrawsintothedrivewayofacolonial-stylemansion.it’sbreathtaking,evendowntotherosesaroundthedoor.picture-bookperfect.

“areyoureadyforthis?”christianasksastaylorpullsupoutsidetheimpressivefrontdoor.

inod,andhegivesmyhandanotherreassuringsqueeze.

“firstformetoo,”hewhispers,thensmileswickedly.“betyouwishyouwerewearingyourunderwearrightnow,”heteases.

iflush.i’dforgottenmymissingpanties.fortunately,taylorhasclimbedoutofthecarandisopeningmydoorsohecan’thearourexchange.iscowlatchristianwhogrinsbroadlyasiturnandclimboutofthecar.

dr.gracetrevelyan-greyisonthedoorstepwaitingforus.shelookselegantlysophisticatedinapalebluesilkdress;behindherstandsmr.grey,ipresume,tall,blond,andashandsomeinhisownwayaschristian.

“anastasia,you’vemetmymother,grace.thisismydad,carrick.”

“mr.grey,whatapleasuretomeetyou.”ismileandshakehisoutstretchedhand.

“thepleasureisallmine,anastasia.”

“pleasecallme,ana.”

hisblueeyesaresoftandgentle.

“ana,howlovelytoseeyouagain.”gracewrapsmeinawarmhug.“comein,mydear.”

“isshehere?”ihearascreechfromwithinthehouse.iglancenervouslyatchristian.

“thatwouldbemia,mylittlesister,”hesaysalmostirritably,butnotquite.

there’sanundercurrentofaffectioninhiswords,thewayhisvoicegrowssofterandhiseyescrinkleashementionshername.christianobviouslyadoresher.it’sarevelation.andshecomesbarrelingdownthehall,ra一venhaired,tall,andcurvaceous.she’saboutmyage.

“anastasia!i’veheardsomuchaboutyou.”shehugsmehard.

holycow.ican’thelpbutsmileatherboundlessenthusiasm.

“ana,please,”imurmurasshedragsmeintothelargevestibule.it’salldarkwoodfloorsandantiquerugswithasweepingstaircasetothesecondfloor.

“he’sneverbroughtagirlhomebefore,”saysmia,darkeyesbrightwithexcitement.

iglimpsechristianrollinghiseyes,andiraiseaneyebrowathim.henarrowshiseyesatme.

“mia,calmdown,”graceadmonishessoftly.“hello,darling,”shesaysasshekisseschristianonbothcheeks.hesmilesdownatherwarmly,andthenshakeshandswithhisfather.

weallturnandheadintothelivingroom.miahasnotletgoofmyhand.theroomisspacious,tastefullyfurnishedincreams,browns,andpaleblue,comfortable,understated,andverystylish.kateandelliotarecuddledtogetheronacouch,clutchingchampagneflutes.katebouncesuptoembraceme,andmiafinallyreleasesmyhand.

“hi,ana!”shebeams.“christian.”shenodscurtlytohim.

“kate.”heisequallyformalwithher.

ifrownattheirexchange.elliotgraspsmeinanall-embracinghug.whatisthis,huganaweek?thisdazzlingdisplayofaffection–i’mjustnotusedtoit.christianstandsatmyside,wrappinghisarmaroundme.placinghishandonmyhip,hespreadsouthisfingersandpullsmeclose.everyoneisstaringatus.it’sunnerving.

“drinks?”mr.greyseemstorecoverhimself.“prosecco?”

“please,”christianandispeakinunison.

oh…thisisbeyondweird.miaclapsherhands.

“you’reevensayingthesamethings.i’llgetthem.”shescootsoutoftheroom.

iflushscarlet,andseeingkatesittingwithelliot,itoccurstomesuddenlythattheonlyreasonchristianinvitedmeisbecausekateishere.elliotprobablyfreelyandhappilyaskedkatetomeethisparents.christianwastrapped–knowingthatiwouldha一vefoundoutviakate.ifrownatthethought.he’sbeenforcedintotheinvitation.therealizationisbleakanddepressing.mysubconsciousnodssagely,ayou’ve-finally-worked-it-out-stupidlookonherface.

“dinner’salmostready,”gracesaysasshefollowsmiaoutoftheroom.

christianfrownsashegazesatme.

“sit,”hecommands,pointingtotheplushcouch,andidoasi’mtold,carefullycrossingmylegs.hesitsdownbesidemebutdoesn’ttouchme.

“wewerejusttalkingaboutvacations,ana,”mr.greysayskindly.“elliothasdecidedtofollowkateandherfamilytobarbadosforaweek.”

iglanceatkate,andshegrins,hereyesbrightandwide.she’sdelighted.katherineka一vanagh,showsomedignity!

“areyoutakingabreaknowyou’vefinishedyourdegree?”mr.greyasks.

“i’mthinkingaboutgoingtogeorgiaforafewdays,”ireply.

christiangapesatme,blinkingacoupleoftimes,hisexpressionunreadable.ohshit.iha一ven’tmentionedthistohim.

“georgia?”hemurmurs.

“mymotherlivesthere,andiha一ven’tseenherforawhile.”

“whenwereyouthinkingofgoing?”hisvoiceislow.

“tomorrow,lateevening.”

miasauntersbackintothelivingroomandhandsuschampagneflutesfilledwithpalepinkprosecco.

“yourgoodhealth!”mr.greyraiseshisglass.anappropriatetoastfromadoctor’shusband,itmakesmesmile.

“forhowlong?”christianasks,hisvoicedeceptivelysoft.

holycrap…he’sangry.

“idon’tknowyet.itwilldependhowmyinterviewsgotomorrow.”

hisjawclenches,andkategetsthatinterferinglookonherface.shesmilesover-sweetly.

“anadeservesabreak,”shesayspointedlyatchristian.whyisshesoantagonistictowardshim?whatisherproblem?

“youha一veinterviews?”mr.greyasks.

“yes,forinternshipsattwopublishers,tomorrow.”

“iwishyouthebestofluck.”

“dinnerisonthetable,”graceannounces.

weallstand.kateandelliotfollowmr.greyandmiaoutoftheroom.igotofollow,butchristianclutchesmyelbow,bringingmetoanabrupthalt.

“whenwereyougoingtotellmeyouwerelea一ving?”heasksurgently.histoneissoft,buthe’smaskinghisanger.

“i’mnotlea一ving,i’mgoingtoseemymother,andiwasonlythinkingaboutit.”

“whataboutourarrangement?”

“wedon’tha一veanarrangementyet.”

henarrowshiseyes,andthenseemstorememberhimself.releasingmyhand,hetakesmyelbowandleadsmeoutoftheroom.

“thisconversationisnotover,”hewhispersthreateninglyasweenterthediningroom.

oh,crapola.don’tgetyourpantiesinsuchatwist…andgivemebackmine.iglareathim.

thediningroomremindsmeofourprivatedinnerattheheathman.acrystalchandelierhangsoverthedarkwoodtableandthere’samassive,ornatelycarvedmirroronthewall.thetableislaidandcoveredwithacrispwhitelinentablecloth,abowlofpalepinkpeoniesasthecenterpiece.it’sstunning.

wetakeourplaces.mr.greyisattheheadofthetable,whileisitathisrighthand,andchristianisseatedbesideme.mr.greyreachesfortheopenedbottleofredwineandofferssometokate.miatakesherseatbesidechristian,andgrabbinghishand,squeezesittightly.christiansmileswarmlyather.

“wheredidyoumeet,ana?”miaaskshim.

“sheinterviewedmeforthewsustudentmagazine.”

“whichkateedits,”iadd,hopingtosteertheconversationawayfromme.

miabeamsatkate,seatedoppositenexttoelliot,andtheystarttalkingaboutthestudentmagazine.

“wine,ana?”mr.greyasks.

“please.”ismileathim.mr.greyrisestofilltherestoftheglasses.

ipeekupatchristian,andheturnstolookatme,hisheadcockedtooneside.

“what?”heasks.

“pleasedon’tbemadatme,”iwhisper.

“i’mnotmadatyou.”

istareathim.hesighs.

“yes,iammadatyou.”hecloseshiseyesbriefly.

“palm-twitchinglymad?”iasknervously.

“whatareyoutwowhisperingabout?”kateinterjects.

iflush,andchristianglaresatherinabutt-out-of-this-ka一vanaghkindofway–evenkatewiltsunderhisstare.

“justaboutmytriptogeorgia,”isaysweetly,hopingtodiffusetheirmutualhostility.

katesmiles,awickedgleaminhereye.

“howwasjoséwhenyouwenttothebarwithhimonfriday?”

holyfuck,kate.iwidenmyeyesather.whatisshedoing?shewidenshereyesbackatme,andirealizeshe’stryingtomakechristianjealous.howlittlesheknows.ithoughti’dgotawaywiththis.

“hewasfine,”imurmur.

christianleansover.

“palm-twitchinglymad,”hewhispers.“especiallynow.”histoneisquietanddeadly.

ohno.isquirm.

gracereappearscarryingtwoplates,followedbyaprettyyoungwomanwithblondepigtails,dressedsmartlyinpaleblue,carryingatrayofplates.hereyesimmediatelyfindchristianintheroom.sheblushesandgazesathimfromunderherlongmascara’dlashes.what!

somewhereinthehousethephonestartsringing.

“excuseme,”mr.greyrisesagainandexits.

“thankyou,gretchen,”gracesaysgently,frowningasmr.greyexits.“justlea一vethetrayontheconsole.”gretchennods,andwithanotherfurtiveglanceatchristian,shelea一ves.

sothegreysha一vestaff,andthestaffareeyeingupmywould-bedominant.canthiseveninggetanyworse?iscowlatmyhandsinmylap.

mr.greyreturns.

“callforyou,darling.it’sthehospital,”hesaystograce.

“pleasestart,everyone.”gracesmilesasshehandsmeaplateandlea一ves.

itsmellsdelicious–chorizoandscallopswithroastedredpeppersandshallots,sprinkledwithflatleafedparsley.andinspiteofthefactthatmystomachischurningfromchristian’sveiledthreats,thesurreptitiousglancesfromprettylittlemisspigtails,andthedebacleofmymissingunderwear,iamstarving.iflushasirealizeit’sthephysicaleffortofthisafternoonthat’sgivenmesuchanappetite.

momentslatergracereturns,herbrowfurrowed.mr.greycockshisheadtooneside…likechristian.

“everythingokay?”

“anothermeaslescase,”gracesighs.

“ohno.”

“yes,achild.thefourthcasethismonth.ifonlypeoplewouldgettheirkidsvaccinated.”sheshakesherheadsadly,andthensmiles.“i’msogladourchildrenneverwentthroughthat.theynevercaughtanythingworsethanchickenpox,thankgoodness.poorelliot,”shesaysasshesitsdown,smilingindulgentlyatherson.elliotfrownsmidchewandsquirmsuncomfortably.“christianandmiawerelucky.theygotitsomildly,onlyaspottosharebetweenthem.”