christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
iscowlatthescreen.he’srightofcourse.it’smychoice.hmm.isheseriousaboutcomingtofindme,shouldidecidetoescapeforawhile?mymindflitsbrieflytomymother’soffer.ihitreply.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:stalker
date:may27201108:36
to:christiangrey
ha一veyousoughttherapyforyourstalkertendencies?
ana
from:christiangrey
subject:stalker?me?
date:may27201108:38
to:anastasiasteele
ipaytheeminentdr.flynnasmallfortunewithregardtomystalkerandothertendencies.
gotowork.
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:expensivecharlatans
date:may27201108:40
to:christiangrey
mayihumblysuggestyouseekasecondopinion?
iamnotsurethatdr.flynnisveryeffective.
misssteele
from:christiangrey
subject:secondopinions
date:may27201108:43
to:anastasiasteele
notthatit’sanyofyourbusiness,humbleorotherwise,butdr.flynnisthesecond
opinion.
youwillha一vetospeed,inyournewcar,puttingyourselfatunnecessaryrisk–ithinkthat’sagainsttherules.
gotowork.
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:shoutycapitals
date:may27201108:47
to:christiangrey
astheobjectofyourstalkertendencies–ithinkitismybusinessactually.
iha一ven’tsignedyet.sorulesschmules.andidon’tstartuntil9:30.
misssteele
from:christiangrey
subject:descriptivelinguistics
date:may27201108:49
to:anastasiasteele
schmules?notsurewherethatappearsinwebster’sdictionary
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:descriptivelinguistics
date:may27201108:52
to:christiangrey
it’sbetweencontrolfreakandstalker.
anddescriptivelinguisticsisahardlimitforme.
willyoustopbotheringmenow?
i’dliketogotoworkinmynewcar.
ana
from:christiangrey
subject:challengingbutamusingyoungwomen
date:may27201108:56
to:anastasiasteele
mypalmistwitching.
drivesafelymisssteele.
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
theaudiisajoytodrive.ithaspowersteering.wanda,mybeetle,hasnopowerinitatall–anywhere,somydailyworkout,whichwasdrivingmybeetle,willcease.oh,butiwillha一veapersonaltrainertocontendwith,accordingtochristian’srules.ifrown.ihateexercising.
whileiamdriving,itryandanalyzeouremailexchange.he’sapatronizingson-of-a-bitchsometimes.andthenithinkofgraceandifeelguilty.butofcourse,shewasn’thisbirthmother.hmmthat’sawholeworldofunknownpain.well,patronizingson-of-a-bitchworkswellthen.yes.i’manadult,thankyouforremindingme,christiangrey,anditismychoice.theproblemis,ijustwantchristian,notallhis…baggage–andrightnowhehasa747hold’sworthofbaggage.couldijustliebackandembraceit?likeasubmissive?i’vesaidi’dtry.it’sanawfullybigask.
ipullintotheparkinglotatclayton’s.asimakemywayin,icanhardlybelieveit’smylastday.fortunately,thestoreisbusyandtimepassesquickly.atlunchtime,mr.claytonsummonsmefromthestockroom.he’sstandingbesideamotorcyclecourier.
“misssteele?”thecourierasks.ifrownquestioninglyatmr.clayton,whoshrugs,aspuzzledasme.myheartsinks.whathaschristiansentmenow?isignforthesmallpackageandopenitstraightaway.it’sablackberry.myheartsinksfurther.iswitchiton.
from:christiangrey
subject:blackberryonloan
date:may27201111:15
to:anastasiasteele
ineedtobeabletocontactyouatalltimes,andsincethisisyourmosthonestformofcommunication,ifiguredyouneededablackberry.
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:consumerismgonemad
date:may27201113:22
to:christiangrey
ithinkyouneedtocalldr.flynnrightnow.
yourstalkertendenciesarerunningwild.
iamatwork.iwillemailyouwhenigethome.
thankyouforyetanothergadget.
iwasn’twrongwhenisaidyouweretheultimateconsumer.
whydoyoudothis?
ana
from:christiangrey
subject:sagacityfromonesoyoung
date:may27201113:24
to:anastasiasteele
fairpoint-wellmade,asevermisssteele.
dr.flynnisonvacation.
andidothisbecauseican.
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
iputthethinginmybackpocket,hatingitalready.emailingchristianisaddictive,butiamsupposedtobeworking.itbuzzesonceagainstmybehind…howapt,ithinkironically,butsummoningallmywillpower,iignoreit.
atfour,mr.andmrs.claytongatheralltheotheremployeesintheshop,andduringahair-curlinglyembarrassingspeech,presentmewithacheckforthreehundreddollars.inthatmoment,threeweeksof–exams,graduation,intense,fucked-upbillionaires,deflowering,
hard&softlimits,playroomswithnoconsoles,helicopterrides–andthefactthatiwillmovetomorrow,allwellupinsideme.amazingly,iholdmyselftogether.mysubconsciousisinawe.ihugtheclaytonshard.theyha一vebeenkindandgenerousemployers,andiwillmissthem.
kateisclimbingoutofhercarwheniarrivehome.
“what’sthat?”shesaysaccusingly,pointingattheaudi.ican’tresist.
“it’sacar,”iquip.shenarrowshereyes,andforabriefmoment,iwonderifshe’sgoingtoputmeacrossherkneetoo.“mygraduationpresent.”itryandactnonchalant.yes,igetexpensivecarsgiventomeeveryday.hermouthdropsopen.
“generous,over-the-topbastard,isn’the?”
inod.
“ididtrynottoacceptit,butfrankly,it’sjustnotworththefight.”
katepursesherlips.
“nowonderyou’resooverwhelmed.ididnotethathestayed.”
“yeah.”ismilewistfully.
“shallwefinishpacking?”
inodandfollowherinside.ichecktheemailfromchristian.
from:christiangrey
subject:sunday
date:may27201113:40
to:anastasiasteele
shalliseeyouat1sunday?
thedoctorwillbeatescalatoseeyouat1:30.
i’mlea一vingforseattlenow.
ihopeyourmovegoeswell,andilookforwardtosunday.
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
jeez,hecouldbediscussingtheweather.idecidetoemailhimoncewe’vefinishedpacking,hecanbesuchfunoneminute,andthenhecanbesoformalandstuffy.it’sdifficulttokeepup.honestly,it’slikeanemailtoanemployee.irollmyeyesatitdefiantlyandjoinkatetopack.
kateandiareinthekitchenwhenthere’saknockatthedoor.taylorstandsontheporch,lookingimmaculateinhissuit.inoticethetraceofex-armyinhisbuzzcut,trimphysique,andhiscoolstare.
“misssteele,”hesays.“i’vecomeforyourcar.”
“ohyes,ofcourse.comein,i’llfetchthekeys.”
surelythisisaboveandbeyondthecallofduty.iwonderagainattaylor’sjobdescription.ihandhimthekeys,andwewalkinanuncomfortablesilenceforme-towardthelightbluebeetle.iopenthedoorandremovetheflashlightfromtheglovebox.that’sit.iha一venothingelsethat’spersonalinthewanda.goodby,,wanda.thankyou.icaressherroofasiclosethepassengerdoor.
“howlongha一veyouworkedformr.grey?”iask.
“fouryears,misssteele.”
suddenly,iha一veanoverwhelmingurgetobombardhimwithquestions.whatthismanmustknowaboutchristian,allhissecrets.butthenhe’sprobablysignedannda.ilooknervouslyathim.hehasthesametaciturnexpressionasray,andiwarmtohim.
“he’sagoodman,misssteele,”hesays,andhesmilesslightly.withthat,hegivesmealittlenod,climbsintomycar,anddrivesaway.
apartment,beetle,claytons–it’sallchangenow.ishakemyheadasiwanderbackinside.andthebiggestchangeofallischristiangrey.taylorthinkshe’sagoodman.canibelievehim?
joséjoinsuswithachinesetake-outateight.we’redone.we’repackedandreadytogo.hebringsseveralbottlesofbeer,andkateandisitonthecouchwhilehe’scross-leggedonthefloorbetweenus.wewatchcraptv,drinkbeer,andastheeveningwearson,wefondlyandloudlyreminisceasthebeertakeseffect.it’sbeenagoodfouryears.
theatmospherebetweenjoséandihasreturnedtonormal,theattemptedkissforgotten.well,it’sbeensweptundertherugthatmyinnergoddessislyingon,eatinggrapesandtappingherfingers,waitingnotsopatientlyforsunday.there’saknockonthedoor,andmyheartleapsintomythroat.isit?
kateanswersthedoorandisnearlyknockedoffherfeetbyelliot.heseizesherinahollywood-styleclinchthatmovesquicklyintoaeuropeanarthouseembrace.honestly…getaroom.joséandistareateachother.i’mappalledattheirlackofmodesty.
“shallwewalkdowntothebar?”iaskjosé,whonodsfrantically.wearetoouncomfortablewiththeunrestrainedsexingunfoldinginfrontofus.katelooksupatme,flushedandbright-eyed.
“joséandiaregoingforaquickdrink.”irollmyeyesather.ha!icanstillrollmyeyesinmyowntime.
“okay,”shegrins.
“hielliot,byeelliot.”
hewinksabigblueeyeatme,andjoséandiareoutofthedoor,gigglingliketeenagers.
aswestrolldowntothebar,iputmyarmthroughjosé’s.god,he’ssouncomplicated-ihadn’treallyappreciatedthatbefore.
“you’llstillcometotheopeningofmyshow,won’tyou?”
“ofcourse,josé,whenisit?”
“june9.”
“whatdayisthat?”isuddenlypanic.
“it’sathursday.”
“yeahishouldmakethat…andyouwillvisitusinseattle?”
“tryandstopme.”hegrins.
it’slatewheniarrivebackfromthebar.kateandelliotarenowheretobeseenbutboycantheybeheard.holyshit.ihopei’mnotthatloud.iknowchristianisn’t.iflushatthethoughtandescapetomyroom.afterabriefnot-at-all-awkward-thank-goodnesshug,joséhasgone.idon’tknowwheni’llseehimagain,probablyhisphotographicshow,andonceagain,i’mblownawaythathefinallyhasanexhibition.ishallmisshimandhisboyishcharm.icouldn’tbringmyselftotellhimaboutthebeetle,iknowhe’llfreakwhenhefindsout,andicanonlydealwithonemanatatimefreakingoutatme.onceinmyroom,icheckthemeanmachine,andofcourse,there’sanemailfromchristian.
from:christiangrey
subject:whereareyou?
date:may27201122:14
to:anastasiasteele
‘iamatwork.iwillemailyouwhenigethome.’
areyoustillatworkorha一veyoupackedyourphone,blackberryandmacbook?
callme,orimaybeforcedtocallelliot.
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
crap…josé…shit.
igrabmyphone.fivemissedcallsandonevoicemessage.tentatively,ilistentothemessage.it’schristian.
‘ithinkyouneedtolearntomanagemyexpectations.iamnotapatientman.ifyousayyouaregoingtocontactmewhenyoufinishwork,thenyoushouldha一vethedecencytodoso.otherwise,iworry,andit’snotanemotioni’mfamiliarwith,andidon’ttolerateitverywell.callme.’
doublecrap.willheevergivemeabreak?iscowlatthephone.heissuffocatingme.withadeepdreaduncurlinginmystomach,iscrolldowntohisnumberandpressdial.myheartisinmymouthasiwaitforhimtoanswer.he’dprobablyliketobeatsevenshadesofshitoutofme.thethoughtisdepressing.
“hi,”hesayssoftly,andhisresponseknocksmeoffbalancebecauseiamexpectinghisanger,butifanything,hesoundsrelieved.
“hi,”imurmur.
“iwasworriedaboutyou.”
“iknow.i’msorryididn’treply,buti’mfine.”
hepausesforabeat.
“didyouha一veapleasantevening?”heiscrisplypolite.
“yes.wefinishedpackingandkateandisharedachinesetake-outwithjosé.”iclosemyeyestightlyasisayjosé’sname.christiansaysnothing.
“howaboutyou?”iasktofillthesuddendeafeningchasmofsilence.iwillnotlethimguiltmeoutaboutjosé.
eventually,hesighs.
“iwenttoafundraisingdinner.itwasdeathlydull.ileftassoonasicould.”
hesoundssosadandresigned.myheartclenches.ipicturehimallthosenightsagosatatthepianoinhishugelivingroomandtheunbearablebittersweetmelancholyofthemusichewasplaying.
“iwishyouwerehere,”iwhisper,becauseiha一veanurgetoholdhim.soothehim.eventhoughhewon’tletme.iwanthisproximity.
“doyou?”hemurmursblandly.holymackerel.thisdoesn’tsoundlikehim,andmyscalpprickleswithdawningapprehension.
“yes,”ibreathe.afteraneternity,hesighs.
“i’llseeyousunday?”
“yes,sunday,”imurmur,andathrillcoursesthroughmybody.
“goodnight.”
“goodnight,sir.”
myaddresscatcheshimunawares,icantellbyhissharpintakeofbreath.
“goodluckwithyourmovetomorrow,anastasia.”hisvoiceissoft.andwe’rebothhangingonthephoneliketeenagers,neitherwantingtohangup.
“youhangup,”iwhisper.finally,isensehissmile.
“no,youhangup.”andiknowhe’sgrinning.
“idon’twantto.”
“neitherdoi.”
“wereyouveryangrywithme?”
“yes.”
“areyoustill?”
“no.”
“soyou’renotgoingtopunishme?”
“no.i’manin-the-momentkindofguy.”
“i’venoticed.”
“youcanhangupnow,misssteele.”
“doyoureallywantmeto,sir?”
“gotobed,anastasia.”
“yes,sir.”
webothstayontheline.
“doyoueverthinkyou’llbeabletodowhatyou’retold?”he’samusedandexasperatedatonce.
“maybe.we’llseeaftersunday.”andipress‘end’onthephone.
elliotstandsandadmireshishandiwork.hehasre-pluggedourtvintothesatellitesysteminourpikeplacemarketapartment.kateandiflopontothecouchgiggling,impressedbyhisprowesswithapowerdrill.theflatscreenlooksoddagainstthebrickworkoftheconvertedwarehouse,butnodoub一tiwillgetusedtoit.
“see,baby,easy.”hegrinsawidewhite-toothedsmileatkate,andshealmostliterallydissolvesintothecouch.
irollmyeyesatthepairofthem.
“i’dlovetostay,baby,butmysisterisbackfromparis.it’sacompulsoryfamilydinnertonight.”
“canyoucomebyafter?”kateaskstentatively,allsoftandun-katelike.
istandandmakemywayovertothekitchenareaonthepretenseofunpackingoneofthecrates.theyaregoingtogeticky.
“i’llseeificanescape,”hepromises.
“i’llcomedownwithyou.”katesmiles.
“laters,ana.”elliotgrins.
“bye,elliot.sayhitochristianfromme.”
“justhi?”hiseyebrowsshootupsuggestively.
“yes.”iflush.hewinksatme,andigocrimsonashefollowskateoutoftheapartment.
elliotisadorableandsodifferentfromchristian.he’swarm,open,physical,veryphysical,toophysical,withkate.theycanbarelykeeptheirhandsoffeachother–tobehonestit’sembarrassing-andiampea-greenwithenvy.
katereturnsabouttwentyminuteslaterwithpizza,andwesit,surroundedbycrates,inournewopenspace,eatingstraightfromthebox.kate’sdadhasdoneusproud.theapartmentisnotlarge,butit’sbigenough,threebedroomsandalargelivingspacethatlooksoutontopikeplacemarketitself.it’sallsolidwoodfloorsandredbrick,andthekitchentopsaresmoothconcrete,veryutilitarian,verynow.webothlovethatwewillbeintheheartofthecity.
ateighttheentry-phonebuzzes.kateleapsup-andmyheartleapsintomymouth.
“delivery,misssteele,misska一vanagh.”disappointmentflowsfreelyandunexpectedlythroughmyveins.it’snotchristian.
“secondfloor,apartmenttwo.”
katebuzzesthedeliveryboyin.hismouthfallsopenwhenheseeskate,alltightjeans,t-shirt,hairpiledhighwithescapingtendrils.shehasthateffectonmen.heholdsabottleofchampagnewithahelicopter-shapedballoonattached.shegiveshimadazzlingsmiletosendhimonhiswayandproceedstoreadthecardouttome.
ladies,goodluckinyournewhome,christiangrey.
kateshakesherheadindisapproval.
“whycan’thejustwrite‘fromchristian’?andwhat’swiththeweirdhelicopterballoon?”
“charlietango.”
“what?”
“christianflewmetoseattleinhishelicopter.”ishrug.
katestaresatmeopenmouthed.iha一vetosay–ilovetheseoccasions–katherineka一vanagh,silentandfloored,theyaresorare.itakeabriefandluxuriousmomenttoenjoyit.
“yep,hehasahelicopter,whichheflewhimself,”istateproudly.
“ofcoursetheobscenelyrichbastardhasahelicopter.whydidn’tyoutellme?”katelooksaccusinglyatme,butshe’ssmiling,shakingherheadindisbelief.
“i’vehadalotonmymindlately.”
shefrowns.
“areyougoingtobeokaywhilei’maway?”
“ofcourse.”ianswerreassuringly.newcity,nojob…nut-jobboyfriend.
“didyougivehimouraddress?
“no,butstalkingisoneofhisspecialties.”imuse,matter-of-fact.
kate’sbrowknitsfurther.
“somehowi’mnotsurprised.heworriesme,ana.atleastit’sagoodchampagneandit’schilled.”
ofcourse,onlychristianwouldsendchilledchampagneorgethissecretarytodoit…ormaybetaylor.weopenitthereandthenandfindourteacups-theywerethelastitemstobepacked.
“bollingergrandeannéerosé1999,anexcellentvintage.”igrinatkate,andweclinkteacups.
iwakeearlytoagraysundaymorningafterasurprisinglyrefreshingnight’ssleepandlieawakestaringatmycrates.youshouldreallybeunpackingthese,mysubconsciousnags,pursingherharpylipstogether.no…today’stheday.myinnergoddessisbesideherself,hoppingfromfoottofoot.anticipationhangshea一vyandportentousovermyheadlikeadarktropicalstormcloud.butterfliesfloodmybelly–aswellasadarker,carnal,captivatingacheasitrytoimaginewhathewilldotome…andofcourse,iha一vetosignthatdamnedcontractordoi?ihearthepingofincomingmailfromthemeanmachineonthefloorbesidemybed.
from:christiangrey
subject:mylifeinnumbers
date:may29201108:04
to:anastasiasteele
ifyoudriveyou’llneedthisaccesscodefortheundergroundgarageatescala:146一963
parkinbay5–it’soneofmine.
codefortheelevator:1880
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.
from:anastasiasteele
subject:anexcellentvintage
date:may29201108:08
to:christiangrey
yessir.understood.
thankyouforthechampagneandtheblow-upcharlietango,whichisnowtiedtomybed.
ana
from:christiangrey
subject:envy
date:may29201108:11
to:anastasiasteele
you’rewelcome.
don’tbelate.
luckycharlietango.
christiangrey
ceo,greyenterprisesholdingsinc.