mybreathingisstillraggedasicomedownfrommyorgasm.hishandmovesdownmywaist,tomyhips,andthencupsme,intimately...jeez.hisfingerslipsthroughthefine

laceandslowlycirclesaroundme–there.brieflyhecloseshiseyes,andhisbreathinghitches.

“you’resodeliciouslywet.god,iwantyou.”hethrustshisfingerinsideme,andicryoutashedoesitagainandagain.hepalmsmyclitoris,andicryoutoncemore.hepushesinsidemeharderandharderstill.igroan.

suddenly,hesitsupandtugsmypantiesoffandthrowsthemonthefloor.pullingoffhisboxerbriefs,hiserectionspringsfree.holycow…hereachesovertohisbedsidetableandgrabsafoilpacket,andthenhemovesbetweenmylegs,spreadingthemfurtherapart.hekneelsupandpullsacondomontohisconsiderablelength.ohno…willit?how?

“don’tworry,”hebreathes,hiseyesonmine,“youexpandtoo.”heleansdown,hishandsoneithersideofmyhead,sohe’shoveringoverme,staringdownintomyeyes,hisjawclenched,eyesburning.it’sonlynowthatiregisterhe’sstillwearinghisshirt.

“youreallywanttodothis?”heaskssoftly.

“please,”ibeg.

“pullyourkneesup,”heorderssoftly,andi’mquicktoobey.“i’mgoingtofuckyounow,misssteele,”hemurmursashepositionstheheadofhiserectionattheentranceofmysex.“hard,”hewhispers,andheslamsintome.

“aargh!”icryasifeelaweirdpinchingsensationdeepinsidemeasheripsthroughmyvirginity.hestills,gazingdownatme,hiseyesbrightwithecstatictriumph.

hismouthisopenslightly,andhisbreathingisharsh.hegroans.

“you’resotight.youokay?”

inod,myeyeswide,myhandsonhisforearms.ifeelsofull.hestaysstill,lettingmeacclimatizetotheintrusive,overwhelmingfeelingofhiminsideme.

“i’mgoingtomove,baby,”hebreathesafteramoment,hisvoicetight.

oh.

heeasesbackwithexquisiteslowness.andhecloseshiseyesandgroans,andthrustsintomeagain.icryoutasecondtime,andhestills.

“more?”hewhispers,hisvoiceraw.

“yes,”ibreathe.hedoesitoncemore,andstillsagain.

igroan.mybodyacceptinghim…oh,iwantthis.

“again?”hebreathes.

“yes.”it’saplea.

andhemoves,butthistimehedoesn’tstop.heshiftsontohiselbowssoicanfeelhisweightonme,holdingmedown.hemovesslowlyatfirst,easinghimselfinandoutofme.andasigrowaccustomedtothealienfeeling,myhipsmovetentativelytomeethis.hespeedsup.imoan,andhepoundson,pickingupspeed,merciless,arelentlessrhythm,andikeepup,meetinghisthrusts.hegraspsmyheadbetweenhishandsandkissesmehard,histeethpullingatmylowerlipagain.heshiftsslightly,andicanfeelsomethingbuildingdeepinsideme,likebefore.istarttostiffenashethrustsonandon.mybodyquivers,bows,asheenofsweatgathersoverme.ohmy…ididn’tknowitwouldfeellikethis…didn’tknowitcouldfeelasgoodasthis.mythoughtsarescattering...there’sonlysensation...onlyhim...onlyme…ohplease…istiffen.

“comeforme,ana,”hewhispersbreathlessly,andiunra一velathiswords,explodingaroundhimasiclimaxandsplinterintoamillionpiecesunderneathhim.andashecomes,hecallsoutmyname,thrustinghard,thenstillingasheemptieshimselfintome.

iamstillpanting,tryingtoslowmybreathing,mythumpingheart,andmythoughtsareinriotousdisarray.wow…thatwasastounding.iopenmyeyes,andhehashisforeheadpressedagainstmine,hiseyesclosed,hisbreathingragged.christian’seyesflickeropenandgazedownatme,darkbutsoft.he’sstillinsideme.leaningdown,hegentlypressesakissagainstmyforeheadthenslowlypullsoutofme.

“ooh.”iwinceattheunfamiliarity.

“didihurtyou?”christianasksasheliesdownbesidemeproppedononeelbow.hetucksastraystrandofmyhairbehindmyear.andiha一vetogrin,widely.

“youareaskingmeifyouhurtme?”

“theironyisnotlostonme,”hesmilessardonically.“seriously,areyouokay?”hiseyesareintense,probing,demandingeven.

istretchoutbesidehim,feelingloose-limbed,myboneslikejelly,buti’mrelaxed,deeplyrelaxed.igrinathim.ican’tstopgrinning.nowiknowwhatallthefussisabout.twoorgasms…comingapartattheseams,likethespincycleonawashingmachine,wow.ihadnoideawhatmybodywascapableof,couldbewoundsotightlyandreleasedsoviolently,sogratifyingly.thepleasurewasindescribable.

“you’rebitingyourlip,andyouha一ven’tansweredme.”he’sfrowning.igrinupathimimpishly.helooksgloriouswithhistousledhair,burningnarrowedgrayeyes,andserious,darkexpression.

“i’dliketodothatagain,”iwhisper.foramoment,ithinkiseeafleetinglookofreliefonhisface,beforetheshutterscomedown,andhegazesatmethroughhoodedeyes.

“wouldyounow,misssteele?”hemurmursdryly.heleansdownandkissesmeverygentlyatthecornerofmymouth.“demandinglittlethingaren’tyou.turnonyourfront.”

iblinkathimmomentarily,andtheniturnover.heunhooksmybraandrunshishanddownmybacktomybehind.

“youreallyha一vethemostbeautifulskin,”hemurmurs.heshiftssothatoneofhislegspushesbetweenmine,andhe’shalflyingacrossmyback.icanfeelthebuttonsofhisshirtpressingintomeashegathersmyhairoffmyfaceandkissesmybareshoulder.

“whyareyouwearingyourshirt?”iask.hestills.afterabeat,heshufflesoutofhisshirt,andheliesbackdownonme.ifeelhiswarmskinagainstmine.hmm…itfeelshea一venly.hehasalightdustingofhairacrosshischest,whichticklesmyback.

“soyouwantmetofuckyouagain?”hewhispersinmyear,andhebeginstotrailfeatherlightkissesaroundmyearanddownmyneck.

hishandmovesdown,skimmingmywaist,overmyhip,anddownmythightothebackofmyknee.hepushesmykneeuphigher,andmybreathhitches…ohmy,what’shedoingnow?heshiftssohe’sbetweenmylegs,pressedagainstmyback,andhishandtra一velsupmythightomybehind.hecaressesmycheekslowly,andthentrailshisfingersdownbetweenmylegs.

“i’mgoingtotakeyoufrombehind,anastasia,”hemurmurs,andwithhisotherhand,hegraspsmyhairatthenapeinafistandpullsgently,holdingmeinplace.icannotmovemyhead.iampinionedbeneathhim,helpless.

“youaremine,”hewhispers.“onlymine.don’tforgetit.”hisvoiceisintoxicating,hiswordsheady,seductive.ifeelhisgrowingerectionagainstmythigh.

hislongfingersreachroundtogentlymassagemyclitoris,circlingslowly.hisbreathissoftagainstmyfaceasheslowlynipsmealongmyjaw.

“yousmellpine,”henuzzlesbehindmyear.hishandrubsagainstme,roundandround.reflexively,myhipsstarttocircle,mirroringhishand,asexcruciatingpleasurespikesthroughmybloodlikeadrenaline.

“keepstill,”heorders,hisvoicesoftbuturgent,andslowlyheinsertshisthumbinsideme,rotatingitroundandround,strokingthefrontwallofmyvagina.theeffectismind-blowing–allmyenergyconcentratingonthisonesmallspaceinsidemybody.imoan.

“youlikethis?”heaskssoftly,histeethgrazingmyouterear,andhestartstoflexhisthumbslowly,in,out,in,out…hisfingersstillcircling.

iclosemyeyes,tryingtokeepmybreathingundercontrol,tryingtoabsorbthedisordered,chaoticsensationsthathisfingersareunleashingonme,firecoursingthroughmybody.imoanagain.

“you’resowet,soquickly.soresponsive.oh,anastasia,ilikethat.ilikethatalot,”hewhispers.

iwanttostiffenmylegs,butican’tmove.he’spinningmedown,keepingupaconstant,slow,tortuousrhythm.it’sabsolutelyexquisite.imoanagain,andhemovessuddenly.

“openyourmouth,”hecommandsandthrustshisthumbinmymouth.myeyesflyopen,blinkingwildly.

“seehowyoutaste,”hebreathesagainstmyear.“suckme,baby.”histhumbpressesonmytongue,andmymouthclosesroundhim,suckingwildly.itastethesaltinessonhisthumbandthefaintmetallictangofblood.holyfuck.thisiswrong,butholyhellisiterotic.

“iwanttofuckyourmouth,anastasia,andiwillsoon,”hisvoiceishoarse,raw,hisbreathingmoredisjointed.

fuckmymouth!imoan,andibitedownonhim.hegasps,andhepullsmyhairtighter,painfully,soireleasehim.

“naughty,sweetgirl,”hewhispers,andthenreachesovertothebedsidetableforafoilpacket.“staystill,don’tmove,”heordersashereleasesmyhair.

heripsthefoilwhilei’mbreathinghard,mybloodsinginginmyveins.theanticipationisexhilarating.heleansdown,hisweightonmeagain,andhegrabsmyhairholdingmyheadimmobile.icannotmove.i’menticinglyensnaredbyhim,andhe’spoisedandreadytotakemeoncemore.

“we’regoingtogoreal,slowthistime,anastasia,”hebreathes.

andslowlyheeasesintome,slowly,slowly,untilhe’sburiedinme.stretching,filling,relentless.igroanloudly.itfeelsdeeperthistime,delectable.igroanagain,andhedeliberatelycircleshishipsandpullsback,pausesabeat,andtheneaseshiswaybackin.herepeatsthismotionagainandagain.it’sdrivingmeinsane–histeasing,deliberatelyslowthrusts,andtheintermittentfeelingoffullnessisoverwhelming.

“youfeelsogood,”hegroans,andmyinsidesstarttoquiver.hepullsbackandwaits.“ohno,baby,notyet,”hemurmurs,andasthequiveringceases,hestartsthewholedeliciousprocessagain.

“oh,please,”ibeg.i’mnotsureicantakemuchmore.mybodyiswoundsotight,cra一vingrelease.

“iwantyousore,baby,”hemurmurs,andhecontinueshissweet,leisurelytorment,backward,forward.

“everytimeyoumovetomorrow,iwantyoutoberemindedthati’vebeenhere.onlyme.youaremine.”

igroan.

“please,christian,”iwhisper.

“whatdoyouwant,anastasia?tellme.”

igroanagain.hepullsoutandmovesslowlybackintome,circlinghishipsoncemore.

“tellme,”hemurmurs.

“you,please.”

heincreasestherhythminfinitesimally,andhisbreathingbecomesmoreerratic.myinsidesstartquickening,andchristianpicksuptherhythm.

“you.are.so.sweet,”hemurmursbetweeneachthrust.“i.want.you.so.much.”

imoan.

“you.are.mine.comeforme,baby,”hegrowls.

hiswordsaremyundoing,tippingmeovertheprecipice.mybodyconvulsesaroundhim,andicome,loudlycallingoutagarbledversionofhisnameintothemattress,andchristianfollowswithtwosharpthrusts,andhefreezes,pouringhimselfintomeashefindshisrelease.hecollapsesontopofme,hisfaceinmyhair.

“fuck.ana,”hebreathes.hepullsoutofmeimmediatelyandrollsontohissideofthebed.ipullmykneesuptomychest,utterlyspent,andimmediatelydriftofforpassoutintoanexhaustedsleep.

wheniwake,it’sstilldark.iha一venoideahowlongi’veslept.istretchoutbeneaththeduvet,andifeelsore,deliciouslysore.christianisnowheretobeseen.isitup,staringoutatthecityscapeinfrontofme.therearefewerlightsonamongsttheskyscrapers,andthere’sawhisperofdawnintheeast.ihearthemusic.theliltingnotesofthepiano,asad,sweetlament.bach,ithink,buti’mnotsure.

iwraptheduvetroundmeandquietlypaddownthecorridortowardthebigroom.christianisatthepiano,completelylostinthemusiche’splaying.hisexpressionissadandforlorn,likethemusic.hisplayingisstunning.leaningagainstthewallattheentrance,ilistenenraptured.he’ssuchanaccomplishedmusician.hesitsnaked,hisbodybathedinthewarmlightcastbyasolitaryfreestandinglampbesidethepiano.withtherestofthelargeroomindarkness,it’slikehe’sinhisownisolatedlittlepooloflight,untouchable…lonely,inabubble.

ipadquietlytowardhim,enticedbythesublime,melancholymusic.i’mmesmerizedwatchinghislongskilledfingersastheyfindandgentlypressthekeys,thinkinghow

thosesamefingersha一veexpertlyhandledandcaressedmybody.iflushandgaspatthememoryandpressmythighstogether.heglancesup,hisunfathomablegrayeyesbright,hisexpressionunreadable.

“sorry,”iwhisper.“ididn’tmeantodisturbyou.”

afrownflitsacrosshisface.

“surely,ishouldbesayingthattoyou,”hemurmurs.hefinishesplayingandputshishandsonhislegs.

inoticenowthathe’swearingpjpants.herunshisfingersthroughhishairandstands.hispantshangfromhiships,inthatway…ohmy.mymouthgoesdryashecasuallystrollsaroundthepianotowardme.hehasbroadshoulders,narrowhips,andhisabdominalmusclesrippleashewalks.hereallyisstunning.

“youshouldbeinbed,”headmonishes.

“thatwasabeautifulpiece.bach?”

“transcriptionbybach,butit’soriginallyanoboeconcertobyalessandromarcello.”

“itwasexquisite,butverysad,suchamelancholymelody.”

hislipsquirkupinahalfsmile.

“bed,”heorders.“you’llbeexhaustedinthemorning.”

“iwokeandyouweren’tthere.”

“ifinditdifficulttosleep,andi’mnotusedtosleepingwithanyone,”hemurmurs.ican’tfathomhismood.heseemsalittledespondent,butit’sdifficulttotellinthedarkness.perhapsitwasthetoneofthepiecehewasplaying.heputshisarmaroundmeandgentlywalksmebacktothebedroom.

“howlongha一veyoubeenplaying?youplaybeautifully.”

“sinceiwassix.”

“oh.”christianasasix-year-oldboy…mymindconjuresanimageofabeautiful,copper-hairedlittleboywithgrayeyesandmyheartmelts–amoppet-hairedkidwholikesimpossiblysadmusic.

“howareyoufeeling?”heaskswhenwearebackintheroom.heswitchesonasidelight.

“i’mgood.”

webothglancedownatthebedatthesametime.there’sbloodonthesheets–evidenceofmylostvirginity.iflush,embarrassed,pullingtheduvettighteraroundme.

“well,that’sgoingtogivemrs.jonessomethingtothinkabout,”christianmuttersashestandsinfrontofme.heputshishandundermychinandtipsmyheadback,staringdownatme.hiseyesareintenseasheexaminesmyface.irealizethati’venotseenhisnakedchestbefore.instinctively,ireachouttorunmyfingersthroughthesmatteringofdarkhaironhischesttoseehowitfeels.immediately,hestepsbackoutofmyreach.

“getintobed,”hesayssharply.“i’llcomeandliedownwithyou.”hisvoicesoftens.idropmyhandandfrown.idon’tthinki’veevertouchedhistorso.heopensachestofdrawersandpullsoutat-shirtandquicklyslipsiton.

“bed,”heordersagain.iclimbbackontothebed,tryingnottothinkabouttheblood.heclambersinbesidemeandpullsmeintohisembrace,wrappinghisarmsaroundmesothati’mfacingawayfromhim.hekissesmyhairgently,andheinhalesdeeply.

“sleep,sweetanastasia,”hemurmurs,andiclosemyeyes,butican’thelpfeelaresidualmelancholyeitherfromthemusicorhisdemeanor.christiangreyhasasadside.

lightfillstheroom,coaxingmefromdeepsleeptowakefulness.istretchoutandopenmyeyes.it’sabeautifulmaymorning,seattleatmyfeet.wow,whataview.besideme,christiangreyisfastasleep.wow,whataview.i’msurprisedhe’sstillinbed.he’sfacingme,andiha一veanunprecedentedopportunitytostudyhim.hislovelyfacelooksyounger,relaxedinsleep.hissculptured,poutylipsarepartedslightly,andhisshiny,cleanhairisagloriousmess.howcouldanyonelookthisgoodandstillbelegal?irememberhisroomupstairs…perhapshe’snotlegal.ishakemyhead,somuchtothinkabout.it’stemptingtoreachoutandtouchhim,butlikeasmallchild,he’ssolovelywhenhe’sasleep.idon’tha一vetoworryaboutwhati’msaying,whathe’ssaying,whatplanshehas,especiallyhisplansforme.

icouldgazeathimallday,butiha一veneeds–bathroomneeds.slippingoutofbed,ifindhiswhiteshirtonthefloorandshrugiton.iwalkthroughadoorthinkingthatitmightbethebathroom,buti’minavastwalk-inclosetasbigasmybedroom.linesandlinesofexpensivesuits,shirts,shoes,andties.howcananyoneneedthismanyclothes?itutwithdisapproval.actually,kate’swardrobeprobablyrivalsthis.kate!ohno.ididn’tthinkaboutherallevening.iwassupposedtotexther.crap.i’mgoingtobeintrouble.iwonderbrieflyhowshe’sgettingonwithelliot.

returningtothebedroom,christianisstillasleep.itrytheotherdoor.it’sthebathroom,andit’sbiggerthanmybedroom.whydoesonemanneedsomuchspace?two

sinks,inoticewithirony.givenhedoesn’tsleepwithanyone,oneofthemcan’tha一vebeenused.

istareatmyselfinthegiganticmirrorabovethesinks.doilookdifferent?ifeeldifferent.ifeelalittlesore,ifi’mhonest,andmymuscles-jeezit’slikei’veneverdoneanyexerciseinmylife.youdon’tdoanyexerciseinyourlife,mysubconscioushaswoken.she’sstaringatmewithpursedlips,tappingherfoot.soyou’vejustsleptwithhim,givenhimyourvirginity,amanwhodoesn’tloveyou.infact,hehasveryoddideasaboutyou,wantstomakeyousomesortofkinkysexsla一ve.

areyoucrazy?she’sshoutingatme.

iwinceasilookinthemirror.iamgoingtoha一vetoprocessallthis.honestly,fancyfallingforamanwho’sbeyondbeautiful,richerthancroesus,andhasaredroomofpainwaitingforme.ishudder.i’mbewilderedandconfused.myhairisitsusualwaywardself.just-fuckedhairdoesn’tsuitme.itryandbringordertothechaoswithmyfingersbutfailmiserablyandgiveup–maybei’llfindhairtiesinmypurse.

i’mstarving.iheadbackouttothebedroom.sleepingbeautyisstillsleeping,soilea一vehimandheadforthekitchen.

ohno…kate.ileftmypurseinchristian’sstudy.ifetchitandreachformycellphone.threetexts.

*ruokana*

*whereruana*

*damnitana*

icallkate.whenshedoesn’tanswer,ilea一veheragrovelingmessagetotellheriamaliveandha一venotsuccumbedtobluebeard,wellnotinthesenseshewouldbeworriedabout–orperhapsiha一ve.ohthisissoconfusing.iha一vetotryandcategorizeandanalyzemyfeelingsforchristiangrey.it’sanimpossibletask.ishakemyheadindefeat.ineedalonetime,awayfromheretothink.

ifindtwowelcomehairtiesatthesametimeinmybagandquicklytiemyhairinpigtails.yes!themoregirlyilook,perhapsthesaferi’llbefrombluebeard.itakemyipodoutofthebagandplugmyheadphonesin.there’snothinglikemusictocookby.islipitintothebreastpocketofchristian’sshirt,turnituploud,andstartdancing.

holyhell,i’mhungry.

iamdauntedbyhiskitchen.it’ssosleekandmodernandnoneofthecupboardsha一vehandles.ittakesmeafewsecondstodeducethatiha一vetopushthecupboarddoorstoopenthem.perhapsishouldcookchristianbreakfast.hewaseatinganomelettheotherday…um,yesterdayattheheathman.jeez,somuchhashappenedsincethen.icheckinthefridge,wherethereareplentyofeggs,anddecideiwantpancakesandbacon.isetaboutmakingsomebatter,dancingmywayroundthekitchen.

beingbusyisgood.itallowsabitoftimetothinkbutnottoodeeply.musicblaringinmyearsalsohelpstosta一veoffdeepthought.icameheretospendthenightinchristiangrey’sbed,andmanagedit,eventhoughhedoesn’tletanyoneinhisbed.ismile,missionaccomplished.bigtime.igrin.big,bigtime,andi’mdistractedbythememoryoflastnight.hiswords,hisbody,hislovemaking…iclosemyeyesasmybodyhumsattherecollection,

andmymusclescontractdeliciouslydeepinmybelly.mysubconsciousscowlsatme…fucking–notlovemaking–shescreamsatmelikeaharpy.iignoreher,butdeepdowniknowshehasapoint.ishakemyheadtoconcentrateonthetaskathand.

thereisastate-of-the-artrange.ithinkiha一vethehangofit.ineedsomewheretokeepthepancakeswarm,andistartonthebacon.amystudtissinginginmyearaboutmisfits.thissongusedtomeansomuchtome,that’sbecausei’mamisfit.iha一veneverfittedinanywhereandnow…iha一veanindecentproposaltoconsiderfromkingmisfithimself.whyishethisway?natureornurture?it’ssoalientoanythingiknow.

iputthebaconunderthegrill,andwhileit’scooking,iwhisksomeeggs.iturn,andchristianissittingononeofthebarstoolsatthebreakfastbar,leaningonit,hisfacesupportedbyhissteepledhands.he’sstillwearingthet-shirthe’ssleptin.just-fuckedhairreally,reallysuitshim,asdoeshisdesignerstubble.helooksbothamusedandbewildered.ifreeze,flush,thengathermyselfandpulltheheadphonesoutofmyears,mykneesweakatthesightofhim.

“goodmorning,misssteele.you’reveryenergeticthismorning,”hesaysdryly.

“isleptwell,”istuttermyexplanation.hislipstrytomaskhissmile.

“ican’timaginewhy.”hepausesandfrowns.“sodidi,aftericamebacktobed.”

“areyouhungry?”

“very,”hesayswithanintenselook,andidon’tthinkhe’sreferringtofood.

“pancakes,bacon,andeggs?”

“soundsgreat.”

“idon’tknowwhereyoukeepyourplacemats.”ishrug,tryingdesperatelyhardnottolookflustered.

“i’lldothat.youcook.wouldyoulikemetoputsomemusiconsoyoucancontinueyour…err…dancing?”

istaredownatmyfingers,knowingthatiamturningpuce.

“please,don’tstoponmyaccount.it’sveryentertaining.”histoneisoneofwryamusement.

ipursemylips.entertainingeh?mysubconscioushasdoubledoverinlaughteratme.iturnandcontinuetowhisktheeggs,probablybeatingthemalittleharderthantheyneed.inamoment,he’sbesideme.hegentlypullsmypigtail.

“ilovethese,”hewhispers.“theywon’tprotectyou.”hmmbluebeard…

“howwouldyoulikeyoureggs?”iasktartly.hesmiles.

“thoroughlywhiskedandbeaten,”hesmirks.

iturnbacktothetaskathand,tryingtohidemysmile.he’shardtostaymadat.especiallywhenhe’sbeingsouncharacteristicallyplayful.heopensadrawerandtakesouttwoblackslateplacematsforthebreakfastbar.ipourtheeggmixintoapan,pulloutthebaconandturnitover,andputitbackunderthegrill.

wheniturnbackround,thereisorangejuiceonthetable,andhe’smakingcoffee.

“wouldyoulikesometea?”

“yes,please.ifyouha一vesome.”

ifindacoupleofplatesandplacetheminthewarmingtrayoftherange.christianreachesintoacupboardandpullsoutsometwining’senglishbreakfasttea.ipursemylips.

“bitofaforegoneconclusionwasn’ti?”

“areyou?i’mnotsurewe’veconcludedanythingyet,misssteele,”hemurmurs.

whatdoeshemeanbythat?ournegotiations?our,err…relationship…whateverthatis?he’sstillsocryptic.iserveupthebreakfastontotheheatedplatesandlaythemontheplacemats.ihuntintherefrigeratorandfindsomemaplesyrup.

iglanceupatchristian,andhe’swaitingformetositdown.

“misssteele.”hemotionstooneofthebarstools.

“mr.grey.”inodinacknowledgement.iclimbupandwinceslightlyasisitdown.

“justhowsoreareyou?”heasksashesitsdown.hisgrayeyesdark.

iflush.whydoesheasksuchpersonalquestions?

“well,tobetruthful,iha一venothingtocomparethisto,”isnapathim.“didyouwishtoofferyourcommiserations?”iasktoosweetly.ithinkhe’stryingtostifleasmile,butican’tbesure.

“no.iwonderedifweshouldcontinueyourbasictraining.”

“oh.”istareathimdumbfoundedasistopbreathingandeverythinginsidemeclenchestight.ooh…that’ssonice.isuppressmygroan.

“eat,anastasia.”myappetitehasbecomeuncertainagain…more…moresex…yesplease.

“thisisdelicious,incidentally.”hegrinsatme.

itryaforkfulofomeletbutcanbarelytasteit.basictraining!iwanttofuckyourmouth.doesthatformpartofbasictraining?

“stopbitingyourlip.it’sverydistracting,andihappentoknowyou’renotwearinganythingundermyshirtwhichmakesitevenmoredistracting,”hegrowls.

idunkmyteabaginthesmallpotthatchristianhasprovided.mymindisinawhirl.

“whatsortofbasictrainingdidyouha一veinmind?”iask,myvoiceslightlytoohigh,betrayingmywishtosoundasnatural,disinterested,andcalmasicanwithmyhormoneswreakingha一vocthroughmybody.

“well,asyou’resore,ithoughtwecouldsticktooralskills.”

ichokeonmytea,andistareathim,eyeswideandgaping.hepatsmegentlyonthebackandpassesmesomeorangejuice.icannottellwhathe’sthinking.

“that’sifyouwanttostay,”headds.iglanceupathim,tryingtorecovermyequilibrium.hisexpressionisunreadable.it’ssofrustrating.

“i’dliketostayfortoday.ifthat’sokay.iha一vetoworktomorrow.”

“whattimedoyouha一vetobeatworktomorrow?”

“nine.”

“i’llgetyoutoworkbyninetomorrow.”

ifrown.doeshewantmetostayanothernight?

“i’llneedtogohometonight–ineedcleanclothes.”

“wecangetyousomehere.”

idon’tha一vesparecashtospendonclothes.hishandcomesup,andhegraspsmychin,tuggingitsomylipisreleasedfromthegripofmyteeth.i’mnotevenawarei’vebeenbitingmylip.

“whatisit?”heasks.

“ineedtobehomethisevening.”

hismouthisahardline.

“okay,thisevening,”heacquiesces.“noweatyourbreakfast.”

mythoughtsandmystomachareinturmoil.myappetitehasvanished.istareatmyhalf-eatenbreakfast.i’mjustnothungry.

“eat,anastasia.youdidn’teatlastnight.”

“i’mreallynothungry,”iwhisper.

hiseyesnarrow.

“iwouldreallylikeyoutofinishyourbreakfast.”

“whatisitwithyouandfood?”iblurt.hisbrowknits.

“itoldyou,iha一veissueswithwastedfood.eat,”hesnaps.hiseyesaredark,pained.

holycrap.whatisthatallabout?ipickupmyforkandeatslowly,tryingtochew.imustremembernottoputsomuchonmyplateifhe’sgoingtobeweirdaboutfood.hisexpressionsoftensasicarefullymakemywaythroughmybreakfast.inotethathecleanshisplate.hewaitsformetofinish,andthenheclearsmyplate.

“youcooked,i’llclear.”

“that’sverydemocratic.”

“yes.”hefrowns.“notmyusualstyle.afteri’vedonethis,we’lltakeabath.”

“oh,okay.”ohmy…i’dmuchratherha一veashower.mycellrings,interruptingmyreverie.it’skate.

“hi.”iwanderovertotheglassdoorsofthebalcony,awayfromhim.

“ana,whydidn’tyoutextlastnight?”she’sangry.

“i’msorry,iwasovertakenbyevents.”

“you’reokay?”

“yes,i’mfine.”

“didyou?”she’sfishingforinformation.irollmyeyesattheexpectationinhervoice.

“kate,idon’twanttotalkoverthephone.”christianglancesupatme.

“youdid…icantell.”

howcanshetell?she’sbluffing,andican’ttalkaboutthis.i’vesignedadamnedagreement.

“kate,please.”

“whatwasitlike?areyouokay?”

“i’vetoldyoui’mokay.”

“washegentle?”

“kate,please!”ican’thidemyexasperation.

“ana,don’tholdoutonme,i’vebeenwaitingforthisdayfornearlyfouryears.”

“i’llseeyouthisevening.”ihangup.

thatisgoingtobeonedifficultsquaretocircle.she’ssotenacious,andshewantstoknow–indetail,andican’ttellherbecausei’vesigneda–whatwasitcalled?nda.she’llfreakandrightlyso.ineedaplan.iheadbacktowatchchristianmovegracefullyaroundhiskitchen.

“thenda,doesitcovereverything?”iasktentatively.

“why?”heturnsandgazesatmewhileputtingthetwiningsaway.iflush.

“well,iha一veafewquestions,youknow,aboutsex.”istaredownatmyfingers.“andi’dliketoaskkate.”

“youcanaskme.”

“christian,withallduerespect.”myvoicefades.ican’taskyou.i’llgetyourbiased,kinky-as-hell,distortedworld-viewregardingsex.iwantanimpartialopinion.“it’sjustaboutmechanics.iwon’tmentiontheredroomofpain.”

heraiseshiseyebrows.

“redroomofpain?it’smostlyaboutpleasure,anastasia.believeme,”hesays.“besides,”histoneisharsher.“yourroom-mateismakingthebeastwithtwobackswithmybrother.i’dreallyratheryoudidn’t.”

“doesyourfamilyknowaboutyour…umpredilection?”

“no.it’snoneoftheirbusiness.”hesaunterstowardmeuntilhe’sstandinginfrontofme.

“whatdoyouwanttoknow?”heasks,andraisinghishandrunshisfingersgentlydownmycheektomychin,tiltingmyheadbacksohecanlookdirectlyintomyeyes.isquirminwardly.icannotlietothisman.

“nothingspecificatthemoment,”iwhisper.

“well,wecanstartwith–howwaslastnightforyou?”hiseyesburn,filledwithcuriosity.he’sanxioustoknow.wow.

“good,”imurmur.

hislipsliftslightly.

“metoo,”hemurmurs.“i’veneverhadvanillasexbefore.there’salottobesaidforit.butthen,maybeit’sbecauseit’swithyou.”herunshisthumbacrossmylowerlip.

iinhalesharply.vanillasex?

“come,let’sha一veabath.”heleansdownandkissesme.myheartleapsanddesirepoolswaydownlow…waydownthere.

thebathisawhitestone,deep,egg-shapedaffair,verydesigner.christianleansoverandfillsitfromthefaucetonthetiledwall.hepourssomeexpensivelookingbathoilintothewater.itfoamsasthebathfillsandsmellsofsweetsultryjasmine.hestandsandgazesatme,hiseyesdark,thenpeelshist-shirtoffandcastsitonthefloor.

“misssteele.”heholdshishandout.

i’mstandinginthedoorway,wide-eyedandwary,myarmswrappedaroundmyself.istepforwardwhilesurreptitiouslyadmiringhisphysique.heisjustyummy.mysubconsciousswoonsandpassesoutsomewhereinthebackofmyhead.itakehishand,andhebidsmetostepintothebathwhileiamstillwearinghisshirt.idoasi’mtold.i’llha一vetogetusedtoitifi’mgoingtotakehimuponhisoutrageousoffer…if!thewaterisenticinglyhot.

“turnaround,faceme,”heorders,hisvoicesoft.idoasi’mbid.he’swatchingmeintently.

“iknowthatlipisdelicious,icanattesttothat,butwillyoustopbitingit?”hesaysthroughclenchedteeth.“youchewingitmakesmewanttofuckyou,andyou’resore,okay?”

igasp,automaticallyunlockingmylip,shocked.

“yeah,”hechallenges.“gotthepicture.”heglaresatme.inodfrantically.ihadnoideaicouldaffecthimso.

“good.”hereachesforwardandtakesmyipodoutofthebreastpocket,andheputsitbythesink.

“waterandipods–notaclevercombination,”hemutters.hereachesdown,graspsthehemofmywhiteshirt,liftsitabovemyhead,anddiscardsitonthefloor.

hestandsbacktogazeatme.i’mnakedforhea一ven’ssake.iflushcrimsonandstaredownatmyhands,levelwiththebaseofmybelly,andidesperatelywanttodisappearintothehotwaterandfoam,butiknowhewon’twantthat.

“hey,”hesummonsme.ipeekupathim,andhisheadiscockedtooneside.“anastasia,you’reaverybeautifulwoman,thewholepackage.don’thangyourheadlikeyou’reashamed.youha一venothingtobeashamedof,andit’sarealjoytostandhereandgazeatyou.”hetakesmychininhishandandtiltsmyheaduptoreachhiseyes.theyaresoftandwarm,heatedeven.ohmy.he’ssoclose.icouldjustreachupandtouchhim.

“youcansitdownnow.”hehaltsmyscatteredthoughts,andiscootdownintothewarm,welcomingwater.ooh…itstings.whichtakesmebysurprise,butitsmellshea一venlytoo,andtheinitialsmartingpainsoonebbsaway.iliebackandbrieflyclosemyeyes,relaxinginthesoothingwarmth.wheniopenthem,heisgazingdownatme.

“whydon’tyoujoinme?”iask,bra一velyithink–myvoicehusky.

“ithinkiwill.moveforward,”heorders.

hestripsoutofhispjpantsandclimbsinbehindme.thewaterrisesashesitsandpullsmeagainsthischest.heplaceshislonglegsovermine,hiskneesbentandhisankleslevelwithmine,andhepullshisfeetapart,openingmylegs.igaspinsurprise.hisnoseisinmyhairandheinhalesdeeply.

“yousmellsogood,anastasia.”

atremorrunsthroughmywholebody.iamnaked,inabathwithchristiangrey.he’snaked.ifsomeonehadtoldmei’dbedoingthiswheniwokeupinhishotelsuiteyesterday,iwouldnotha一vebelievedthem.

hereachesforabottleofbodywashfromthebuilt-inshelfbesidethebathandsquirtssomeintohishand.herubshishandstogether,creatingasoft,foaminglather,andhecloseshishandsaroundmyneckandstartstorubthesoapintomyneckandshoulders,massagingfirmlywithhislong,strongfingers.igroan.hishandsonmefeelgood.

“youlikethat?”ihearhissmile.

“hmm.”

hemovesdownmyarms,thenunderthemtomyunderarmswashinggently.i’msogladkateinsistedisha一ve.hishandsglideacrosstomybreasts,andiinhalesharplyashisfingersencirclethemandstartkneadinggently,takingnoprisoners.mybodybowsinstinctively,pushingmybreastsintohishands.mynipplesaretender.verytender,nodoub一tfromhisless-than-delicatetreatmentofthemlastnight.hedoesn’tlingerlongandglideshishandsdowntomystomachandbelly.mybreathingincreases,andmyheartisracing.hisgrowingerectionpressesagainstmybehind.it’ssuchaturn-onknowingthatit’smybodymakinghimfeelthisway.ha…notyourmind.mysubconscioussneers.ishakeofftheunwelcomethought.

hestopsandreachesforawashclothasipantagainsthim,wanting…needing.myhandsrestonhisfirm,muscularthighs.squirtingmoresoapontothewashcloth,heleansdownandwashesbetweenmylegs.iholdmybreath.hisfingersskillfullystimulatingmethroughthecloth,it’shea一venly,andmyhipsstartmovingattheirownrhythm,pushingagainsthishand.asthesensationstakeover,itiltmyheadback,myeyesrollingtothebackofmyhead,mymouthslack,andigroan.thepressureisbuildingslowly,inexorablyinsideme…ohmy.

“feelit,baby,”christianwhispersinmyearandverygentlygrazesmyearlobewithhisteeth.“feelitforme.”mylegsarepinionedbyhistothesideofthebath,holdingmeprisoner,givinghimeasyaccesstothismostprivatepartofmyself.

“oh…please,”iwhisper.itrytostiffenmylegsasmybodygoesrigid.iaminasexualthralltothisman,andhedoesn’tletmemove.

“ithinkyou’recleanenoughnow,”hemurmurs,andhestops.what!no!no!no!mybreathingisragged.

“whyareyoustopping?”igasp.

“becauseiha一veotherplansforyouanastasia.”

what…ohmy…but…iwas…that’snotfair.

“turnaround.ineedwashing,too,”hemurmurs.

oh!turningtofacehim,i’mshockedtofindhehashiserectionfirmlyinhisgrasp.mymouthdropsopen.

“iwantyoutobecomewellacquainted,onfirstnametermsifyouwill,withmyfa一voriteandmostcherishedpartofmybody.i’mveryattachedtothis.”

it’ssobigandgrowing.hiserectionisabovethewaterline,thewaterlappingathiships.iglanceupathimandcomefacetofacewithhiswickedgrin.he’senjoyingmyastoundedexpression.irealizethati’mstaring.iswallow.thatwasinsideme!itdoesn’tseempossible.hewantsmetotouchhim.hmm…okay,bringiton.

ismileathimandreachforthebodywash,squirtingsomesoapontomyhand.idoashe’sdone,latheringthesoapinmyhandsuntiltheyarefoamy.idonottakemyeyesoffhis.mylipsarepartedtoaccommodatemybreathing…verydeliberatelyigentlybitemybottomlipandthenrunmytongueacrossit,tracingwheremyteethha一vebeen.hiseyesareseriousanddark,andtheywidenasmytongueskimsmylowerlip.ireachforwardandplaceoneofmyhandsaroundhim,mirroringhowhe’sholdinghimself.hiseyesclosebriefly.wow…feelsmuchfirmerthaniexpect.isqueeze,andheplaceshishandovermine.

“likethis,”hewhispers,andhemoveshishandupanddownwithafirmgriproundmyfingers,andmyfingerstightenaroundhim.hecloseshiseyesagain,andhisbreathhitchesinhisthroat.whenheopensthemagain,hisgazeisscorchingmoltengray.“that’sright,baby.”

hereleasesmyhand,lea一vingmetocontinuealone,andcloseshiseyesasimoveupanddownhislength.heflexeshishipsslightlyintomyhandandreflexivelyigrasphimtighter.alowgroanescapesfromdeepwithinhisthroat.fuckmymouth…hmm.irememberhimpushinghisthumbinmymouthandaskingmetosuck,hard.hismouthdropsopenslightlyashisbreathingincreases.ileanforward,whilehehashiseyesclosed,andplacemylipsaroundhimandtentativelysuck,runningmytongueoverthetip.

“whoa…ana.”hiseyesflyopen,andisuckharder.

hmm…he’ssoftandhardatonce,likesteelencasedinvelvet,andsurprisinglytasty–saltyandsmooth.

“christ,”hegroans,andhecloseshiseyesagain.