「youstillwantsomechampagne?」

「allright.」

ipulledhercloseandshecriedagainstmyshoulder.shewasn’tinlovewithmeandwebothknewit.shewasn’tcryingoverme.itwasjusttimeforhertoshedafewtears.

thenshepulledawayandigotoutofbedandshewentintothebathroomtofixherface.igotthechampagne.whenshecamebackshewassmiling.

「i’msorryiblubbered,」shesaid.「insixmonthsfromnowiwon’tevenrememberyourname.bringitintothelivingroom.iwanttoseelights.」

ididwhatshesaid.shesatonthedavenportasbefore.iputthechampagneinfrontofher.shelookedattheglassbutdidn’ttouchit.

「i’llintroducemyself,」isaid.「we’llhaveadrinktogether.」

「liketonight?」

「itwon’teverbeliketonightagain.」

sheraisedherglassofchampagne,drankalittleofitslowly,turnedherbodyonthedavenport,andthrewtherestinmyface.thenshebegantocryagain.igotahandkerchiefoutandwipedmyfaceoffandwipedhersforher.

「idon’tknowwhyididthat,」shesaid.「butforgod’ssakedon’tsayi’mawomanandawomanneverknowswhyshedoesanything.」

ipouredsomemorechampagneintoherglassandlaughedather.shedrankitslowlyandthenturnedtheotherwayandfellacrossmyknees..

「i’mtired,」shesaid.「you’llhavetocarrymethistime.」

afterawhileshewenttosleep.

inthemorningshewasstillasleepwhenigotupandmadecoffee.ishoweredandshavedanddressed.shewokeupthen.wehadbreakfasttogether.icalledacabandcarriedherovernightcasedownthesteps.

wesaidgoodbye.iwatchedthecaboutofsight.iwentbackupthestepsandintothebedroomandpulledthebedtopiecesandremadeit.therewasalongdarkhairononeofthepillows.therewasalumpofleadatthepitofmystomach.

thefrenchhaveaphraseforit.thebastardshaveaphraseforeverythingandtheyarealwaysright.

tosaygoodbyeistodiealittle.