iwenthomeandshoweredandshavedandchangedclothesandbegantofeelcleanagain.icookedsomebreakfast,ateit,washedup,sweptthekitchenandtheserviceporch,filledapipeandcalledthephoneansweringservice.ishotablank.whygototheoffice?therewouldbenothingtherebutanotherdeadmothandanotherlayerofdust.inthesafewouldbemyportraitofmadison.icouldgodownandplaywiththat,andwiththefivecrisphundred-dollarbillsthatstillsmelledofcoffee.icoulddothat,butididn’twantto.somethinginsidemehadgonesour.noneofitreallybelongedtome.whatwasitsupposedtobuy?howmuchloyaltycanadeadmanuse?phooey:iwaslookingatlifethroughthemistsofahangover.

itwasthekindofmorningthatseemstogoonforever.iwasflatandtiredanddullandthepassingminutesseemedtofallintoavoid,withasoftwhirringsound,likespentrockets.birdschirpedintheshrubberyoutsideandthecarswentupanddownlaurelcanyonboulevardendlessly.usuallyiwouldn’tevenhearthem.butiwasbroodingandirritableandmeanandoversensitive.idecidedtokillthehangover.

ordinarilyiwasnotamorningdrinker.thesoutherncaliforniaclimateistoosoftforit.youdon’tmetabolizefastenough.butimixedatallcoldonethistimeandsatinaneasychairwithmyshirtopenandpeckedatamagazine,readingacrazystoryaboutaguythathadtwolivesandtwopsychiatrists,onewashumanandonewassomekindofinsectinahive.theguykeptgoingfromonetotheotherandthewholethingwasascrazyasacrumpet,butfunnyinanoff-beatsortofway.iwashandlingthedrinkcarefully,asipatatime,watchingmyself.

itwasaboutnoonwhenthetelephonerangandthevoicesaid:「thisislindaloring.icalledyourofficeandyourphoneservicetoldmetotryyourhome.i’dliketoseeyou.」

「why?」

「i’dratherexplainthatinperson.yougotoyourofficefromtimetotime,isuppose.」

「yeah.fromtimetotime.isthereanymoneyinit?」

「ihadn’tthoughtofitthatway.butihavenoobjection,ifyouwanttobepaid.icouldbeatyourofficeinaboutanhour.」

「goody.」

「what’sthematterwithyou?」sheaskedsharply.

「hangover.buti’mnotparalyzed.i’llbethere.unlessyou’drathercomehere.」

「yourofficewouldsuitmebetter.」

「i’vegotanicequietplacehere.dead-endstreet,nonearneighbors.」

「theimplicationdoesnotattractme—ifiunderstandyou.」

「nobodyunderstandsme,mrs.loring.i’menigmatic.okay,i’llstruggledowntothecoop.」

「thankyousomuch.」shehungup.

iwasslowgettingdowntherebecauseistoppedonthewayforasandwich.iairedouttheofficeandswitchedonthebuzzerandpokedmyheadthroughthecommunicatingdoorandshewastherealready,sittinginthesamechairwheremendymenendezhadsatandlookingthroughwhatcouldhavebeenthesamemagazine.shehadatangabardinesuitontodayandshelookedprettyelegant.sheputthemagazineaside,gavemeaseriouslook,andsaid:

「yourbostonfernneedswatering.ithinkitneedsrepottingtoo.toomanyairroots.」

iheldthedooropenforher.thehellwiththebostonfern.whenshewasinsideandihadletthedoorswingshutiheldthecustomer’schairforherandshegavetheofficetheusualonceover.igotaroundtomysideofthedesk.

「yourestablishmentisn’texactlypalatial,」shesaid.「don’tyouevenhaveasecretary?」

「it’sasordidlife,buti’musedtoit.」

「andishouldn’tthinkverylucrative,」shesaid.

「ohidon’tknow.depends.wanttoseeaportraitofmadison?」

「awhat?」

「afive-thousand-dollarbill.retainer.i’vegotitinthesafe.」igotupandstartedoverthere.ispuntheknobandopeneditandunlockedadrawerinside,openedanenvelope,anddroppeditinfrontofher.shestaredatitinsomethinglikeamazement.

「don’tlettheofficefoolyou,」isaid.「iworkedforanoldboyonetimethatwouldcashinatabouttwentymillions.evenyouroldmanwouldsayhellotohim.hisofficewasnobetterthanmine,excepthewasabitdeafandhadthatsoundproofingstuffontheceiling.onthefloorbrownlinoleum,nocarpet.」

shepickedtheportraitofmadisonupandpulleditbetweenherfingersandturneditover.sheputitdownagain.

「yougotthisfromterry,didn’tyou?」

「gosh,youknoweverything,don’tyoumrs.loring?」

shepushedthebillawayfromher,frowning.「hehadone.hecarrieditonhimeversinceheandsylviaweremarriedthesecondtime.hecalledithismadmoney.itwasnotfoundonhisbody.」

「therecouldbeotherreasonsforthat.」