五十度灰(Fifty Shades of Grey)英文版 Part II 11

jackcockshisheadtoonesideasheleansintoward

me,invadingmypersonalspace—again.

“you’rebeingverycoy,ana.”

“well,he’sintelecommunications,manufacturing,and

agriculture.”

jackraiseshiseyebrows.“somanythings.whodoes

heworkfor?”

“heworksforhimself.ifyou’rehappywiththe

document,i’dliketogo,ifthat’sokay?”

heleansback.mypersonalspaceissafeagain.

“ofcourse.sorry,ididn’tmeantokeepyou,”hesays

disingenuously.

“whattimedoesthebuildingclose?”

“securityishereuntileleven.”

“good.”ismile,andmysubconsciousflopsdownin

herarmchair,relievedtoknowthatwearenotaloneinthe

building.switchingoffmycomputer,igrabmypurseand

standup,readytolea一ve.

“youlikehimthen?yourboyfriend?”

“ilovehim,”ianswer,lookingjacksquarelyinthe

eye.

“isee.”jackfrownsandhestandsupfrommydesk.

“what’shissurname?”

iflush.

“grey.christiangrey,”imumble.

jack’smouthdropsopen.“seattle’srichestbachelor?

thatchristiangrey?”

“yes.thesame.”yes,thatchristiangrey,yourfuture

bosswhowillha一veyouforbreakfastifyouinvademy

personalspaceagain.

“ithoughthelookedfamiliar,”jacksaysdarklyandhis

browcreasesagain.“well,he’saluckyman.”

iblinkathim.whatdoisaytothat?

“ha一veagoodevening,ana.”jacksmiles,butthesmile

doesn’ttouchhiseyes,andhewalksstifflybackintohis

officewithoutabackwardglance.

iletoutalongsighofrelief.well,thatproblemmight

besolved.fiftyworkshismagicagain.justhisnameismy

talisman,andithasthismanretreatingwithhistailbetween

hislegs.iallowmyselfasmallvictorioussmile.yousee,

christian?evenyournameprotectsme—youdidn’t

ha一vetogotoallthattroubleofclampingdownon

expenses.itidymydeskandcheckmywatch.christian

shouldbeoutside.

theaudiisparkedupagainstthesidewalk,and

taylorleapsouttoopentherearpassengerdoor.iha一ve

neverbeensopleasedtoseehim,andiscrambleintothe

caroutoftherain.

christianisintherearseat,gazingatme,hiseyeswide

andwary.he’sbracinghimselfformyanger,hisjawtight

andtense.

“hi,”imurmur.

“hi,”herepliescautiously.hereachesoverandgrasps

myhand,squeezingittightly,andmyheartthawsalittle.

i’msoconfused.iha一ven’tevenworkedoutwhatineed

tosaytohim.

“areyoustillmad?”heasks.

“idon’tknow,”imurmur.heraisesmyhandand

lightlygrazesmyknuckleswithsoftbutterflykisses.

“it’sbeenashittyday,”hesays.

“yes,ithas.”butforthefirsttimesinceheleftfor

workthismorning,ibegintorelax.justbeinginhis

companyisasoothingbalm,andalltheshitfromjack,and

thesnarkye-mailstoandfro,andthenuisancethatis

elenafadeintothebackground.it’sjustmeandmy

controlfreakinthebackofthecar.

“it’sbetternowthatyou’rehere,”hemurmurs.wesit

insilenceastaylorwea一vesthroughtheeveningtraffic,

bothofusbroodingandcontemplative;butifeelchristian

slowlyunwindbesidemeashe,too,relaxes,gentlyrunning

histhumbacrossmyknucklesinasoft,soothingrhythm.

taylordropsusoutsidetheapartmentbuilding,andwe

bothduckinside,outoftherain.christianclaspsmyhand

aswewaitfortheelevator,hiseyesscanningthefrontof

thebuilding.

“itakeityouha一ven’tfoundleilayet.”

“no.welchisstilllookingforher,”hemutters

despondently.

theelevatorarrivesandinwestep.christianglances

downatme,hisgrayeyesunreadable.oh,hejustlooks

glorious—tousledhair,whiteshirt,darksuit.andsuddenly

it’sthere,fromnowhere,thatfeeling.ohmy—thelonging,

thelust,theelectricity.ifitwerevisible,itwouldbean

intenseblueauraaroundandbetweenusit’ssostrong.his

lipspartashegazesatme.

“doyoufeelit?”hebreathes.

“yes.”

“oh,ana.”hegroansandhegrabsme,hisarms

snakingaroundme,onehandatthenapeofmyneck,

tippingmyheadbackashislipsfindmine.myfingersare

inhishairandcaressinghischeekashepushesmeback

againsttheelevatorwall.

“ihatearguingwithyou,”hebreathesagainstmy

mouth,andthere’sadesperate,passionatequalitytohis

kissthatmirrorsmine.desireexplodesinmybody,allthe

tensionofthedayseekinganoutlet,strainingagainsthim,

seekingmore.we’realltonguesandbreathingandhands

andtouchandsweet,sweetsensation.hishandisonmy

hip,andabruptlyhe’spullingupmyskirt,hisfingers

strokingmythighs.

“sweetjesus,you’rewearingstockings.”hemoansin

appreciativeaweashisthumbcaressesthefleshabovemy

stockingline.“iwanttoseethis,”hebreathes,andhepulls

myskirtrightup,exposingthetopsofmythighs.

steppingback,hereachesovertopressthestop

button,andtheelevatorcoastssmoothlytoahaltbetween

thetwenty-secondandtwenty-thirdfloors.hiseyesare

dark,lipsparted,andhe’sbreathingashardasami.we

gazeateachother,nottouching.iamgratefulforthewall

againstmyback,holdingmeupwhileibaskinthis

beautifulman’ssensual,carnalappraisal.

“takeyourhairdown,”heorders,hisvoicehusky.i

reachupandundothetie,releasingmyhairsoittumblesin

athickcloudaroundmyshoulderstomybreasts.“undo

thetoptwobuttonsofyourshirt,”hewhispers,hiseyes

wildernow.

hemakesmefeelsowanton.myinnergoddessis

writhingonherchaiselongue,waiting,wanting,and

panting.ireachupandundoeachbutton,achingly,slowly,

sothatthetopsofmybreastsaretantalizinglyrevealed.

heswallows.“doyouha一veanyideahowalluringyou

lookrightnow?”

verydeliberately,ibitemylipandshakemyhead.he

closeshiseyesbriefly,andwhenheopensthemagain,

theyareblazing.hestepsforwardandplaceshishandson

theelevatorwallsoneithersideofmyface.he’sasclose

ashecanbewithouttouchingme.

itipmyfaceuptomeethisgaze,andheleansdown

andrunshisnoseagainstmine,soit’stheonlycontact

betweenus.iamsohotintheconfinesofthiselevator

withhim.iwanthim—now.

“ithinkyoudo,misssteele.ithinkyouliketodrive

mewild.”

“doidriveyouwild?”iwhisper.

“inallthings,anastasia.youareasiren,agoddess.”

andhereachesforme,graspingmylegabovemyknee

andhitchingitaroundhiswaist,sothatiamstandingon

oneleg,leaningintohim.ifeelhimagainstme,feelhim

hardandwantingabovetheapexofmythighsasheruns

hislipsdownmythroat.imoanandwrapmyarmsaround

hisneck.

“i’mgoingtotakeyounow,anastasia,”hebreathes

andiarchmybackinresponse,pressingmyselfagainst

him,eagerforthefriction.hegroansdeepandlowinthe

backofhisthroatandboostsmehigherasheundoeshis

fly.

“holdtight,baby,”hemurmurs,andmagically

producesafoilpacketthatheholdsinfrontofmymouth.i

takeitbetweenmyteeth,andhetugs,sothatbetweenus,

weripitopen.

“goodgirl.”hestepsbackafractionasheslideson

thecondom.“god,ican’twaitforthenextsixdays,”he

growlsandgazesdownatmethroughhoodedeyes.“ido

hopeyou’renotoverlyfondofthesepanties.”hetears

throughthemwithhisadeptfingers,andtheydisintegratein

hishands.mybloodispoundingthroughmyveins.iam

pantingwithneed.

hiswordsareintoxicating,allmyangstfromtheday

forgotten.it’sjusthimandme,doingwhatwedobest.

withouttakinghiseyesoffmine,hesinksslowlyintome.

mybodybowsanditiltmyheadback,closingmyeyes,

relishingthefeelofhiminsideme.hepullsbackandthen

movesintomeagain,soslow,sosweet.igroan.

“you’remine,anastasia,”hemurmursagainstmy

throat.

“yes.yours.whenwillyouacceptthat?”ipant.he

groansandstartstomove,reallymove.andisurrender

myselftohisrelentlessrhythm,sa一voringeachpushand

pull,hisraggedbreathing,hisneedforme,reflectingmine.

itmakesmefeelpowerful,strong,desiredandloved

—lovedbythiscaptivating,complicatedman,whomilove

inreturnwithallmyheart.hepushesharderandharder,

hisbreathingragged,losinghimselfinmeasilosemyselfin

him.

“oh,baby,”christianmoans,histeethgrazingmyjaw,

andicomehardaroundhim.hestills,clutchesme,and

followssuit,whisperingmyname.

nowthatchristianisspent,calmandkissingmegently,

hisbreathingeases.heholdsmeuprightagainstthe

elevatorwall,ourforeheadspressedtogether,andmy

bodyislikejelly,weakbutgratifyinglysatedfrommy

climax.

“oh,ana,”hemurmurs.“ineedyousomuch.”he

kissesmyforehead.

“andiyou,christian.”

releasingme,hestraightensmyskirtanddoesupthe

twobuttonsonmyshirt,thenpunchesthecombinationinto

thekeypadthatstartstheelevatoragain.itriseswithajolt

sothatireachoutandclasphisarms.

“taylorwillbewonderingwhereweare,”hegrins

lasciviouslyatme.

ohcrap.idragmyfingersthroughmyhairinavain

attempttocombatthejust-fuckedlook,thengiveupand

tieitinaponytail.

“you’lldo.”christiansmirksashedoesuphisflyand

putsthecondominhispantspocket.

oncemorehelookstheembodimentofanamerican

entrepreneur,andsincehishairlooksjustfuckedmostof

thetime,there’sverylittledifference.exceptnowhe’s

smiling,relaxed,hiseyescrinklingwithboyishcharm.are

allmenthiseasilyplacated?

tayloriswaitingwhenthedoorsopen.

“problemwiththeelevator,”christianmurmursaswe

bothstepout,andicannotlookeitherofthemintheface.

iscurrythroughthedoubledoorstochristian’sbedroom

insearchofsomefreshunderwear.

whenireturn,christianhasremovedhisjacketandis

sittingatthebreakfastbarchattingwithmrs.jones.she

smileskindlyatmeassheputsouttwoplatesofhotfood

forus.mmm,itsmellsdelicious—coqauvin,ifiamnot

mistaken.iamfamished.

“enjoy,mr.grey,ana,”shesaysandlea一vesustoit.

christianfetchesabottleofwhitewinefromthefridge,

andaswesitandeat,hetellsmeabouthowmuchnearer

he’sgettingtoperfectingasolar-poweredmobilephone.

he’sanimatedandexcitedaboutthewholeproject,andi

knowthenthathehasn’thadanentirelyshittyday.

iaskhimabouthisproperties.hesmirks,anditturns

outheonlyhastheapartmentinnewyorkandaspen,

andescala.nothingelse.whenwe’redone,icollecthis

plateandmineandtakethemtosink.

“lea一vethat.gailwilldoit,”hesays.iturnandgazeat

him,andhe’swatchingmeintently.willievergetusedto

ha一vingsomeonecleanupafterme?

“well,nowthatyouaremoredocile,misssteele,shall

wetalkabouttoday?”

“ithinkyou’retheonewho’smoredocile.ithinki’m

doingagoodjobintamingyou.”

“tamingme?”hesnorts,amused.wheninod,he

frownsasifreflectingonmywords.“yes.maybeyouare,

anastasia.”

“youwererightaboutjack,”imurmur,seriousnow,

andileanacrossthekitchenislandgauginghisreaction.

christian’sfacefallsandhiseyesharden.

“hashetriedanything?”hewhispers,hisvoicedeathly

cold.

ishakemyheadtoreassurehim.“no,andhewon’t,

christian.itoldhimtodaythati’myourgirlfriend,andhe

backedrightoff.”

“you’resure?icouldfirethefucker.”christian

scowls.

isigh,emboldenedbymyglassofwine.“youreally

ha一vetoletmefightmyownbattles.youcan’tconstantly

second-guessmeandtrytoprotectme.it’sstifling,

christian.i’llneverflourishwithyourincessant

interference.ineedsomefreedom.iwouldn’tdreamof

meddlinginyouraffairs.”

heblinksatme.“ionlywantyousafe,anastasia.if

anythinghappenedtoyou,i—”hestops.

“iknow,andiunderstandwhyyoufeelsodrivento

protectme.andpartofmelovesit.iknowthatifineed

you,you’llbethere,asiamforyou.butifwearetoha一ve

anyhopeofafuturetogether,youha一vetotrustmeand

trustmyjudgment.yes,i’llgetitwrongsometimes—i’ll

makemistakes,butiha一vetolearn.”

hestaresatme,hisexpressionanxious,spurringmeto

walkroundtohimsothatiamstandingbetweenhislegs

whilehesitsonthebarstool.grabbinghishands,iput

themaroundmeandplacemyhandsonhisarms.

“youcan’tinterfereinmyjob.it’swrong.idon’tneed

youcharginginlikeawhiteknighttosa一vetheday.iknow

youwanttocontroleverything,andiunderstandwhy,but

youcan’t.it’sanimpossiblegoal...youha一vetolearnto

letgo.”ireachupandstrokehisfaceashegazesatme,

hiseyeswide.“andifyoucandothat—givemethat—i’ll

moveinwithyou,”iaddsoftly.

heinhalessharply,surprised.“you’ddothat?”he

whispers.

“yes.”

“butyoudon’tknowme.”hefrownsandsounds

chokedandpanickyallofasudden,veryun-fifty.

“iknowyouwellenough,christian.nothingyoutell

meaboutyourselfwillfrightenmeaway.”igentlyrunmy

knucklesacrosshischeek.hisexpressionturnsfrom

anxioustodubious.“butifyoucouldjusteaseuponme,”

iplead.

“i’mtrying,anastasia.icouldn’tjuststandbyandlet

yougotonewyorkwiththat...sleazeball.hehasan

alarmingreputation.noneofhisassistantsha一velasted

morethanthreemonths,andthey’reneverretainedbythe

company.idon’twantthatforyou,baby.”hesighs.“i

don’twantanythingtohappentoyou.youbeinghurt...

thethoughtfillsmewithdread.ican’tpromisenotto

interfere,notifithinkyou’llcometoharm.”hepauses

andtakesadeepbreath.“iloveyou,anastasia.iwilldo

everythinginmypowertoprotectyou.icannotimagine

mylifewithoutyou.”

holycow.myinnergoddess,mysubconscious,andi

allgapeatfiftyinshock.

jeez,threelittlewords.myworldstandsstill,tilts,then

spinsonanewaxis;andisa一vorthemoment,gazinginto

hissincere,beautifulgrayeyes.

“iloveyou,too,christian.”ileanoverandkisshim,

andthekissdeepens.

enteringunseen,taylorclearshisthroat.christianpulls

back,gazingintentlyatme.hestands,hisarmaroundmy

waist.

“yes?”hesnapsattaylor.

“mrs.lincolnisonherwayup,sir.”

“what?”

taylorshrugsapologetically.christiansighshea一vily

andshakeshishead.

“well,thisshouldbeinteresting,”hemuttersandgives

meacrookedgrinofresignation.

fuck!whycan’tthatdamnedwomanlea一veusalone?

“yes.”

“whatdidyousay?”

“isaidthatyoudidn’twanttoseeher,andthati

understoodyourreasonswhy.ialsotoldherthatididn’t

appreciatehergoingbehindmyback.”hisgazeis

impassive,givingnothingaway.

oh,good.“whatdidshesay?”

“shebrusheditoffinawaythatonlyelenacan.”his

mouthflattenstoacrookedline.

“whydoyouthinkshe’shere?”

“iha一venoidea.”christianshrugs.

taylorentersthegreatroomagain.“mrs.lincoln,”he

announces.

andheresheis...whyisshesodamnedattractive?

she’sdressedentirelyinblack:tightjeans,ashirtthat

emphasizesherperfectfigure,andahaloofbright,glossy

hair.

christianpullsmeclose.“elena,”hesays,histone

puzzled.

shegapesatmeinshock,frozentothespot.she

blinksbeforefindinghersoftvoice.“i’msorry.ididn’t

realizeyouhadcompany,christian.it’smonday,”she

saysasifthisexplainswhyshe’shere.

“girlfriend,”hesaysbywayofexplanationandtiltshis

headtoonesideandsmirks.

shesmiles,aslow,beamingsmiledirectedentirelyat

him.it’sunnerving.

“ofcourse.hello,anastasia.ididn’tknowyou’dbe

here.iknowyoudon’twanttotalktome.iacceptthat.”

“doyou?”iassertquietly,gazingatherandtakingall

ofusbysurprise.withaslightfrown,shemovesfarther

intotheroom.

“yes,igetthemessage.i’mnotheretoseeyou.like

isaid,christianrarelyhascompanyduringtheweek.”she

pauses.“iha一veaproblem,andineedtotalktochristian

aboutit.”

“oh?”christianstraightensup.“doyouwanta

drink?”

“yes,please,”shemurmursgratefully.

christianfetchesaglasswhileelenaandistand

awkwardlygazingateachother.shefidgetswithalarge

silverringonhermiddlefinger,whileidon’tknowwhere

tolook.finally,shegivesmeasmalltightsmileand

approachesthekitchenislandandsitsonthebarstoolat

theend.sheobviouslyknowstheplacewellandfeels

comfortablemovingaroundhere.

doistay?doigo?oh,thisissodifficult.my

subconsciousscowlsatthewomanwithhermosthostile

harpyface.

there’ssomuchiwanttosaytothiswoman,and

noneofitcomplimentary.butshe’schristian’sfriend—his

onlyfriend—andforallmyloathingofthiswoman,iam

innatelypolite.decidingtostay,isitasgracefullyasican

manageonthestoolchristian’svacated.christianpours

wineintoeachofourglassesandsitsbetweenusatthe

breakfastbar.can’thefeelhowweirdthisis?

“what’sup?”heasksher.

elenalooksnervouslyatme,andchristianreaches

overandclaspsmyhand.

“anastasia’swithmenow,”hesaystohersilentquery

andsqueezesmyhand.iflush,andmysubconscious

beamsathim,harpyfaceforgotten.

elena’sfacesoftensasifshe’spleasedforhim.really

pleasedforhim.oh,idon’tunderstandthiswomanatall,

andi’muncomfortableandedgyinherpresence.

shetakesadeepbreathandshifts,perchingonthe

edgeofherbarstoolandlookingagitated.sheglances

nervouslydownatherhandsandstartsmanicallytwisting

thelargesilverringaroundandaroundonhermiddle

finger.

jeez,what’swrongwithher?isitmypresence?doi

ha一vethateffectonher?becauseifeelthesameway—i

don’twantherhere.sheraisesherheadandlooks

christiansquarelyintheeye.

“i’mbeingblackmailed.”

holyshit.notwhatiexpectedoutofhermouth.

christianstiffens.hassomeonefoundoutabouther

penchantforbeatingandfuckingunderageboys?i

suppressmyrevulsion,andafleetingthoughtabout

chickenscominghometoroostcrossesmymind.my

subconsciousrubsherhandstogetherwithill-disguised

glee.good.

“how?”christianasks,hishorrorclearinhisvoice.

shereachesintoheroversized,patent-leather,

designerpurse,pullsoutanote,andhandsittohim.

“putitdown,layitout.”christianpointstothe

breakfastbarcounterwithhischin.

“youdon’twanttotouchit?’

“no.fingerprints.”

“christian,youknowican’tgotothepolicewiththis.”

whyamilisteningtothis?isshefuckingsomeother

poorboy?

shelaysthenoteoutforhim,andhebendstoreadit.

“they’reonlyaskingforfivethousanddollars,”hesays

almostabsentmindedly.“anyideawhoitmightbe?

someoneinthecommunity?”

“no,”shesaysinhersoftsweetvoice.

“linc?”

linc?who’sthat?

“what—afterallthistime?idon’tthinkso,”she

grumbles.

“doesisaacknow?”

“iha一ven’ttoldhim.”

who’sisaac?

“ithinkheneedstoknow,”christiansays.sheshakes

herhead,andnowifeeli’mintruding.iwantnoneofthis.

itrytoretrievemyhandfromchristian’sgrasp,buthejust

tightenshisholdandturnstogazeatme.

“what?”heasks.

“i’mtired.ithinki’llgotobed.”

hiseyessearchmine,lookingforwhat?censure?

acceptance?hostility?ikeepmyexpressionasblandas

possible.

“okay,”hesays.“iwon’tbelong.”

hereleasesmeandistand.elenawatchesmewarily.

istaytightlippedandreturnhergaze,givingnothingaway.

“goodnight,anastasia.”shegivesmeasmallsmile.

“goodnight,”imutter,myvoicesoundscold.iturnto

lea一ve.thetensionistoomuchformetobear.asiexitthe

roomtheycontinuetheirconversation.

“idon’tthinkthere’sagreatdealicando,elena,”

christiansaystoher.“ifit’saquestionofmoney.”his

voicetrailsoff.“icouldaskwelchtoinvestigate.”

“no,christian,ijustwantedtoshare,”shesays.

wheniamoutoftheroom,ihearhersay,“youlook

veryhappy.”

“iam,”christianresponds.

“youdeservetobe.”

“iwishthatweretrue.”

“christian,”shescolds.

ifreeze,listeningintently.ican’thelpit.

“doessheknowhownegativeyouareaboutyourself?

aboutallyourissues.”

“sheknowsmebetterthananyone.”

“ouch!thathurts.”

“it’sthetruth,elena.idon’tha一vetoplaygameswith

her.andimeanit,lea一veheralone.”

“whatisherproblem?”

“you...whatwewere.whatwedid.shedoesn’t

understand.”

“makeherunderstand.”

“it’sinthepast,elena,andwhywouldiwanttotaint

herwithourfucked-uprelationship?she’sgoodand

sweetandinnocent,andbysomemiracleshelovesme.”

“it’snomiracle,christian,”elenascoffsgoodnaturedly.

“ha一vealittlefaithinyourself.youreallyare

quiteacatch.i’vetoldyouoftenenough.andsheseems

lovely,too.strong.someonetostanduptoyou.”

ican’thearchristian’sresponse.soi’mstrong,ami?

icertainlydon’tfeelthatway.

“don’tyoumissit?”elenacontinues.

“what?”

“yourplayroom.”

istopbreathing.

“thatreallyisnoneofyourfuckingbusiness,”christian

snaps.

oh.

“i’msorry.”elenasnortsinsincerely.

“ithinkyou’dbettergo.andplease,callbeforeyou

comeagain.”

“christian,iamsorry,”shesays,andfromhertone,

thistimeshemeansit.“sincewhenareyousosensitive?”

she’sscoldinghimagain.

“elena,weha一veabusinessrelationshipwhichhas

profitedusbothimmensely.let’skeepitthatway.what

wasbetweenusispartofthepast.anastasiaismyfuture,

andiwon’tjeopardizeitinanyway,socutthefucking

crap.”

hisfuture!

“isee.”

“look,i’msorryforyourtrouble.perhapsyoushould

rideitoutandcalltheirbluff.”histoneissofter.

“idon’twanttoloseyou,christian.”

“i’mnotyourstolose,elena,”hesnapsagain.

“that’snotwhatimeant.”

“whatdidyoumean?”he’sbrusque,angry.

“look,idon’twanttoarguewithyou.yourfriendship

meansalottome.i’llbackofffromanastasia.buti’m

hereifyouneedme.ialwayswillbe.”

“anastasiathinksthatyousawmelastsaturday.you

called,that’sall.whydidyoutellherotherwise?”

“iwantedhertoknowhowupsetyouwerewhenshe

left.idon’twanthertohurtyou.”

“sheknows.i’vetoldher.stopinterfering.honestly,

you’relikeamotherhen.”christiansoundsmoreresigned,